Joining
by netherfield
Summary: Mostly LL. A post Season 4 Finale piece for the Summer. Challenges arise on the road from Independence to Joining. Complete.
1. Default Chapter

"All right, I don't go to Yale or anything, but I'm pretty sure that pink lip gloss was not an essential element of seduction in that particular time period," laughed Lorelai as she and Luke walked the path to her front porch.  
  
"Well, I don't go to Yale either, but I think we could safely say that you were lucky if any hygiene at all was in use then," responded Luke with a smile.  
  
"So historical accuracy was not the reason to see that movie?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"Well, my reason to see that movie was to be with you," he told her.  
  
Lorelai smiled at that.  
  
They stood at the bottom step of her porch now, she swinging her purse slightly, he with his hands in his pockets. They looked at one another.  
  
"So," began Lorelai, "I had a good time."  
  
"Me too. I was afraid you would cancel."  
  
"What? Why?"  
  
"Well, I didn't get to see you last night after we.. And you were so distracted at the Inn today... so I was kinda thinking..."  
  
"No, Luke, no... Last night, the me and you part... Well, I'm glad about that... truly.. Over the Moon, even..." she smiled. "A little pissed at Kirk maybe..." she added.  
  
"Over the moon, hunh?" he smiled.  
  
"Yes, over the moon and back down here to Stars Hollow..."  
  
"Well, good.. But there's something going on with you...other than orbital trips.... You caught that dish of eggs benedict pretty spectacularly at breakfast this morning..."  
  
"Which would have been more impressive if I hadn't knocked it over in the first place," Lorelai looked away in consternation, "I've turned into a flippin' jumping bean lately."  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked putting a hand on her forearm.  
  
"Yes," Lorelai sat down on the steps before her and paused a moment, "No" she added.  
  
Luke sat next to her, leaning on his knees, "Did I do something?"  
  
Lorelai smiled thinly, "No, Luke, you have been great." He had to smile at that. "It's me and Rory. Rory did something. Something big. And I can't talk about it with you... not yet anyway," she bit her lip.  
  
"Okay." said Luke.  
  
"So this me and you thing... It's a little weird, and maybe partially responsible for my jumping bean act." Lorelai changed the subject.  
  
"I don't want it to be weird. And I don't want you to jump... I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Luke returned gazing at her.  
  
"No, me either... I like it—this..." sighed Lorelai, slipping her arms through his and leaning her head on his shoulder, "I'm glad... you... I'm glad you—trust me..."  
  
Luke leaned his cheek against her hair, then turned his head to kiss her forehead, "I need to say that I don't want you think this is some sort of rebound thing for me, Lorelai..."  
  
"Luke, you don't need to..."  
  
"I do, I do need to..." he said into her hair.  
  
"Okay," she returned softly from his shoulder.  
  
"I've thought about this... about us... It's been a long time coming, I think..."  
  
"Maybe it has," Lorelai nodded.  
  
"It's something I really want to try," he said simply.  
  
"Me too," she lifted her head to look at him now.  
  
He leaned in then and kissed her softly then pulled back and looked into her eyes again, "God, Lorelai..."  
  
"I know," she nodded.  
  
He put an arm around her then and pulled her in close; she lay her head on his shoulder again and wrapped her arms about his waist. They sat in the quiet spring evening like this for awhile and listened to the crickets.  
  
"How does Rory feel about this...?" he finally asked.  
  
Lorelai pulled herself out of the momentary bliss and looked up at him, "We haven't talked about it yet, Luke. Last night she...Oh, it was awful... I never thought..." "You know it's killing me not to ask what happened, right?"  
  
"I know," nodded Lorelai, "I just can't, not yet..."  
  
"Is she all right?" he asked.  
  
"She will be. She has a helluva learning curve to climb right now, but she'll do it...I hope. I just didn't want her to have to ever learn this lesson... She shouldn't have to, damn it... God, I hate being angry with her. When is it that your job as a parent ends? I mean the imprint you try to give, the person you try to be for them...When is that over and your child is only left with being responsible for herself?" Lorelai asked no one in particular.  
  
"Okay, without knowing any details.... I don't know," said Luke.  
  
Lorelai had to smile through the shine in her eyes at that, "Crap." she said.  
  
"Sorry," said Luke.  
  
"Yeah, well we will work this out... somehow.."  
  
"I know," he agreed.  
  
Lorelai took a deep breath.  
  
"So... me and you...Wow." she changed tacks.  
  
"Yes, me and you," Luke returned with a twinkle in his eye.  
  
"We are good," affirmed Lorelai with a high wattage smile.  
  
"We are great... You are great," concluded Luke.  
  
"Wow, me and Luke? You and me?"  
  
"Us," nodded Luke.  
  
"Yeah, 'us.' I like the sound of that..." Lorelai smiled again, "Now, I was thinking, you've been doing all the work..."  
  
"The work?" asked Luke with a grin, wondering where this was going.  
  
"Yeah, the dancing, the asking out, the flowers..."  
  
"Ah, the 'work'" nodded Luke.  
  
"...the kissing..."  
  
"So 'not work'..." said Luke slipping his hands behind her neck and into her hair, pulling her in. He began to softly kiss her lips repeatedly until she moaned in response which thrilled them both. They opened their mouths then and began tentative stroking with their tongues. Then pulled away in wonder, breathing.  
  
"Wow..." said Lorelai.  
  
"You keep saying that," smiled Luke.  
  
"There is something... here... between us," Lorelai gestured back and forth between them a little amazed.  
  
"Yeah," acknowledged Luke and leaned in to kiss her again.  
  
"Okay, we have to stop now," breathed Lorelai at last, "This is fast...."  
  
"Ten years of build-up is a lot to work out," countered Luke.  
  
Lorelai laughed, "So, as I was saying, you have been doing all the work and now I want to do something for you..."  
  
"Hmmm, what did you have in mind?" asked Luke as he wound his fingers into a lock of her hair.  
  
"Well, could I take you to dinner Wednesday night?" she asked.  
  
"Absolutely," he said happily.  
  
"Great!" said Lorelai and stood up. Luke joined her.  
  
"I better go in and check on Rory," said Lorelai, "She says she wants to be alone, made me come tonight even, but..."  
  
"It's okay," he comforted, "Go to her. Will I see you in the morning?"  
  
"I'll try," she promised and leaned in for a last kiss, "I had a great time... Thank you."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Good night," Lorelai turned to go up the stairs.  
  
"Good night," Luke took one last look before walking out to his truck, he watched her smile and turn to go up the stairs and was so caught up in that last look in her eyes that he did not see, until it was too late, her heel catch on the stair below her. He was too late, as well, to grab her before she fell to her knees and could only watch helplessly, and as if in slow motion, her head knock into the top stair. She'd managed to turn it sideways somehow just before the impact.  
  
"Oh, my God! Lorelai!" Luke hurried up and grabbed hold of her arm and pulled her into a sitting position.  
  
"I'm fine... really..." she mumbled dazedly and rubbed the side of her head.  
  
"Let me look," he said leaning in closer from his kneeling position to move her hand away from her head. He probed the tender spot gently.  
  
"Ow!" she complained.  
  
"You're going to have quite a bump..." said Luke, "Lorelai, look at me.. Are you all right?"  
  
Loreali looked up at him, "Yes, Doctor Kasey. I'm pretty embarrassed, but I think I'll live...The Inn better succeed though, cause I think I should give up on my Rockette back-up plan." She rubbed her head again ruefully.  
  
"This isn't like you..." Luke shook his head.  
  
"Mom?" The front door opened to reveal Rory in her pajamas, "I heard a yell... Are you all right? Oh, my God, what happened?" She hurried over.  
  
"I'm fine..." Lorelai smiled at her daughter, glad she was talking to her, even over something as stupid as tripping over her own foot.  
  
"Rory, she hit her head, could you help me get her in. We should put some ice on it," said Luke pulling Lorelai to her feet.  
  
"Sure."  
  
Once they had Lorelai settled on the couch with an ice bag on her head, Rory took a moment to watch her mother and Luke.  
  
"Luke, you should go home... it's late and you have to get up early," said Lorelai.  
  
"I think you need to see a doctor," Luke told her.  
  
"What? You hate doctors."  
  
"That doesn't mean that I don't acknowledge a need for them and I'm worried about you."  
  
"Luke, I tripped."  
  
"You've been doing that a lot lately."  
  
"Yeah, well... I've been tired and stressed and distracted.... This making your dreams come true stuff is hard work, Mister."  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"Go home, Luke, I am fine. I'll try to come by tomorrow."  
  
Luke sighed knowing defeat was a fact now.  
  
Once he was gone, Rory sat next to her mother and watched her as she leaned back against the sofa, eyes closed, ice bag held to the side of her head.  
  
"You two..." she began, "You're the same, but different."  
  
Lorelai opened her eyes and looked at her daughter, "Yes, we are different."  
  
"Mom, I've been thinking..."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I've decided to take that trip with Grandma."  
  
"Rory, what is this Peyton Place?–You're going to run to Europe to avoid this mess?" asked Lorelai seriously.  
  
"Okay, I know I probably deserved that.." said Rory fighting the tears.  
  
"No, honey, you didn't, I'm sorry.. My head hurts and I'm still upset about everything...."  
  
"I know. I know. But I need some time to think. I need some time to think away from you."  
  
"Rory..." Lorelai felt her own tears welling then.  
  
"I'm not saying this to hurt you, Mom, really. I know I've done something wrong. But I need to work it out. Me. If nothing else, you have shown me that... independence... well, it's just what I need to do."  
  
Lorelai took a long look at Rory, "All right. You're right. This is yours. But I'd like to have you closer than an ocean away in case you need me."  
  
"I know you would, but... it can't be like that... God, this whole year has been about me needing you and trying to resist that..." Rory put her head in her hands.  
  
"Honey, why? You shouldn't resist that... I'm here for you..."  
  
"I know you are. But, I've got to be here for myself, Mom. I don't know how else to explain it," she looked into her mother's eyes then, willing her to understand.  
  
"Oh, God, why do I have to understand that?" lamented Lorelai.  
  
"Because that's how you and I are," said Rory.  
  
Lorelai sighed and put her arms around her beautiful daughter. She had to support her by letting her go this alone. Damn, what a roller coaster night.  
  
"I will go with Grandma for a month. I talked to her this evening about it."  
  
"Whoa! What? So fast?"  
  
"Yes, I'm sorry..."  
  
"God, I hate change, especially fast change," moaned Lorelai.  
  
"When I come back, I'm getting a least two jobs, maybe three... I'll need the money, and the work will help."  
  
"Rory, what about Dean?" asked Lorelai quietly.  
  
"I've written him a letter. Clearly I don't have any business seeing him..."  
  
"Rory..."  
  
"That's how it is, Mom. How it's going to be." stated Rory decisively.  
  
"All right, all right."  
  
"We're leaving Tuesday."  
  
"What?" Lorelai sat up quickly and grabbed her throbbing head, "Tuesday? As in the day after tomorrow?"  
  
"Yes. I know I'll miss the official opening, but..."  
  
"Yeah, you will..."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Gah! Rory! Okay, okay, clearly you've made your decision, your plans even, without even talking to me. I understand your need to work this out on your own, I really do, but, Jeez kid, could you have at least talked to me a little...?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Mom, I love you... but I need to do this... myself."

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Lorelai tried to decide if there was a part of her body that didn't hurt as her heels clicked past the square en route to Luke's the next morning. She sighed. Oh! Her tongue! Her tongue didn't hurt. She smiled a little then, because of Luke of course, and then frowned once more when the jangling bell over the diner door re-woke every damn pain nerve she had. Man-o-man, pain sucks. She slumped onto a stool at the counter, and put her head down on her arms.  
  
"Hey," she heard as a mug of coffee appeared magically before her. She clasped its comforting warmth and drank deeply, "How are you doing?"  
  
She looked up then and into his dear face. He was peering down, his concern plain.  
  
"I'm fine," she told him, sitting up, "How are you this morning?"  
  
"Are you sure you're fine?" he asked doubtfully.  
  
"Luke..." she began.  
  
"Hey, Luke, two chocolate doughnuts to go!"  
  
"Hold on, Ed!" Luke called back.  
  
"Luke, I'm fine, now go work," she shooed him away.  
  
She sat awhile then, sipping coffee and munching bacon, and reading over the comment cards from the weekend. She laughed at Taylor's request for less dust on the road and compliments of the shine on the brass sconces in his room. Kirk's itemized report of accessible sharp objects in his room was also hysterical. Miss Patty and Babette suggested that she provide each room with an annotated copy of the Karma Sutra to be placed inside the bedside table right next to the Bible.  
  
By the time things had quieted down and Luke had returned to her side, she was grinning.  
  
"What are you so happy about?" he asked as he sat on the stool next to her.  
  
"I love this town!" she laughed at him.  
  
"O-okay. Are you sure you didn't hit your head a little harder than I thought?"  
  
"Look at this," she said and handed him Patty and Babette's card. She watched his face flush slightly as he read it.  
  
"Ah, Jeez. I did not need that added to the already burned-on-my-brain mental image of Babette's robe flashing."  
  
Lorelai laughed again. The sound made Luke happy whatever the crazy reason.  
  
"So..." said Luke.  
  
"So..." said Lorelai.  
  
"Are we still on for Wednesday?"  
  
"Absolutely," she assured him.  
  
"Where are you going to take me?" he asked smiling.  
  
"Hmmm... I think that should be a surprise."  
  
"So, you don't know yet?"  
  
"Yeah, that's pretty much it. Hey, um, I haven't told you yet but Rory is going to go to Europe tomorrow... with my Mom."  
  
"That seems sudden."  
  
"It is." said Lorelai quietly.  
  
"I'm still not supposed to ask, am I?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Luke... I want to talk to you, but.."  
  
"Lorelai, it's okay. So, how's your head feeling now?" He asked as he crossed around the counter to the coffee pot and gave her a refill.  
  
"Well, it hurts much more than a splinter but way less than childbirth," she told him into her sip.  
  
"Is it really that bad?"  
  
"What? My head?"  
  
Luke looked both ways to check for eavesdroppers before answering, Lorelai followed his eyes in confusion, "Childbirth?—Is it that bad?" he clarified.  
  
"Yes." she affirmed  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"I guess it's not something you'd ever want to do again, then..." he offered without meeting her eyes.  
  
Lorelai gulped at the implication here, "W-w-well," she began, "It was pretty awful for me, but I was sixteen..."  
  
"Right." Luke shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"Not that I think that if I did it again it would be a bed of roses or something..."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Because there is just no way that having your feet in stirrups while you..."  
  
"You know, I was just asking..."  
  
"Right."  
  
They both paused, not meeting each other's eyes.  
  
"But since you did...ask, that is" began Lorelai, looking up at him,  
  
"Yeah?" his eyes met hers.  
  
"I'd have to say that, while it's not fun, you know...it's worth it...the result, that is.."  
  
"Oh, right. The result."  
  
"But, I am getting pretty old," she joked lamely.  
  
"Lorelai..." he began, but was interrupted by the ringing of her phone.  
  
He pointed to his sign, as was customary, and she reached in her purse for her phone, grabbed it and headed outside.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Loreali, I need to know what's going on."  
  
"I'm fine, Mom. How are you?" Lorelai frowned in frustration. Luke watched from inside the diner as her expression changed.  
  
"Don't 'How are you?' me, Lorelai Victoria," snapped Emily.  
  
"Oh. Sorry."  
  
"Why has Rory made this sudden decision to go to Europe with me?" Emily cut to the chase.  
  
"You'd have to ask her about that, Mom."  
  
"I am asking you, her mother."  
  
"Have you changed your mind about going?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"Of course not. There is just something about this...urgency...that has me concerned. Has something happened?'  
  
"Mom, Rory is a young woman now," in more ways than one, she thought ruefully, "So you really need to talk to her if you have questions."  
  
"I knew something was going on!" said Emily triumphantly.  
  
"Gah! Mom, is there something else you needed? Because I really need to get to work."  
  
"No, just tell Rory that I've hired a car. The driver and I will pick her up at three tomorrow morning."  
  
"Three in the morning?!"  
  
"It's an international flight leaving from New York, Lorelai. We'll need to be there at least three hours early for the security check in alone..."  
  
"Right. Okay, fine."   
  
Luke looked up as she came back into the diner to collect her purse.  
  
"Everything all right?" he asked.  
  
"No, it was my mother."  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"Look, I really need to get to the Inn. There is so much to do. I've almost got two weeks before the first official guests come and I've got to take care of that dust problem on the road. What do you think? Gravel? Because I can't really afford asphalt and I want to keep that period look, anyway..."  
  
"Lorelai.."  
  
"Hey, would you call me later?" she asked looking up.  
  
"Sure, if you want me to..."he responded, wondering what was going on now.  
  
"I mean, you don't have to, if you're busy..."  
  
"No, it's fine..."  
  
"I just thought..."  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"I mean, it would be nice to hear your voice," she stated looking at him meaningfully.  
  
"Then I'll call you. It'd be nice to hear your voice too." he said, looking back.  
  
"Well, good..." she turned to go, but not before bumping into a chair on her way, "There I go again," she said, "Padded room... it's the only answer...Well, 'bye..." she called over her shoulder and left the diner hurriedly.  
  
"'Bye," Luke just had time to say, before the door closed behind her.


	2. Chapter II

Later that day Lorelai grabbed her ringing cell phone as she walked grumpily back into the Inn from the kitchen garden.  
  
"Hello," she sighed.  
  
"Hey, you do not sound happy." greeted Luke.  
  
"Is fifteen hundred dollars for a load of gravel unreasonable?" she asked plaintively.  
  
"I don't know," came his answer.  
  
"I mean it's just a bunch of little rocks, right? Gah! Do you think he'd knock a couple hundred off if I got out there and spread it around myself?"  
  
"You are not going to spread gravel," laughed Luke.  
  
"Why not? Are you saying I can't spread gravel?" snapped Lorelai.  
  
"No, I'm saying that you would ruin your shoes spreading gravel." he returned.  
  
"Oh, right," conceded Lorelai, "Thank you for calling me," she finally smiled into the phone.  
  
"You're welcome. How's your day going?... I mean other than the solid gold gravel someone's trying to unload on you."  
  
"Ha.Ha," she responded drolly, "Actually, I have to say, other than the gravel scam, that running my own Inn is everything it's cracked up to be," she added airily as she began to sort the mail.  
  
"Really?" Luke smiled and sat down in the leather chair in his apartment.  
  
"Oh yeah. If only those girls would come home from swimming in the water tower to do their chores, and Uncle Joe weren't so dang lazy, it'd be idyllic," she went on.  
  
"Oh, they'll all perk up at the _Shady Rest_ once the train stops at the junction," he told her dryly.  
  
Lorelai laughed, "You, my friend, are a very cultured man."  
  
"Keep that under wraps though, will ya?" Luke agreed.  
  
"Oh sure, you have that Working Man thing going so well... everyone's fooled."  
  
"That's right. So, will you be by later?" he asked.  
  
"Sadly, no. I need to help Rory pack and we need to talk again before she leaves."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Thank you so much for calling though," she added, "You really made my afternoon."  
  
"Sure."  
  
They were silent for a moment then.  
  
"Luke, something wrong?" she asked.  
  
"No... No, I'm fine..." he sighed.  
  
"I will try to be in tomorrow, okay?"  
  
"Right."  
  
"'Bye."  
  
"'Bye."  
  
Lorelai clicked off her phone and stared off into space for a moment. Luke, she thought. Luke is disappointed I'm not coming in to the diner. Luke wants to see me. She smiled then. And I want to see him. Okay, okay, Lorelai, don't get ahead of yourself. Don't obsess. Enjoy. Enjoy this. Enjoy how great it feels to be wanted by someone like him. And to want him back. And, oh boy, is this complicated: What is he? What is Luke? Who is he? Has something always been here—between us? _Yes_, whispered her heart: _Yes_. But you've been ignoring it, said her heart again—this time a little more forcefully. But it's Luke. It's Luke! her head shouted. _Yes_, it's Luke, (her heart again.) And then she felt it: that flip in her stomach... and then her knees weakened.... No, my knees cannot be literally weakening at the thought of Luke she told herself as she sat down and took a deep breath. Luke, she thought again. Wow.

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It was later than she hoped when she slowly dragged herself through the front door that evening and flopped on the couch.  
  
"You look awful," said Rory as she came in from the kitchen.  
  
"Oh thank you, sweetie.." said Lorelai with a slight sarcastic tone.  
  
"_Thank you?_ That's the best you can come up with?" laughed Rory, "We better rush you to the Emergency Room right away, because that must be about the weakest come back I've ever heard you utter."  
  
"Yeah, well..." began Lorelai and trailed off, "Huh... I've got nothing... So, how are you doing?" she sat up a little straighter and looked at her daughter, noticing the dark circles under her eyes.  
  
"I'm all right." Rory avoided her mother's gaze.  
  
"Uh huh," Lorelai let it go. She'd said her piece, "So do you need anything for your trip?"  
  
"No. I just hope Grandma doesn't want to do anything too fancy."  
  
Lorelai just stared at her at that.  
  
"Right. Okay, I guess I'll be needing the entire Summer couture collection then," she said darkly, "I just want some quiet time. Do you think Grandma will let me have any?"  
  
Lorelai could see that Rory was starting to question the wisdom of this trip.  
  
"Rory, you will have to handle this—and her. If you need quiet time, or library time, or whatever, you will have to make that clear to her. I will not be there to intercede," Lorelai hoped she was sounding firm and as if she were treating Rory as an adult when all she wanted was to have eight- year-old-Rory back—the kid had been so hard herself then, Lorelai had hardly ever even given her times out. Lorelai sighed for the minor infractions of yesterday.  
  
"I know," Rory acknowledged, "I put Dean's letter in the mail this morning," she added quietly.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I told him we made a mistake and that I hoped he could forgive me... again... and that he could work out his life... and..." Rory was crying now, and Lorelai caught a glimpse then of that eight year old that was, and reached out for her.  
  
"Oh, honey, come here," she said, and Rory sat next to her on the couch and buried her head on her mother's shoulder.  
  
"I am so sorry..."sobbed her little girl.  
  
"I know. I know you are," soothed Lorelai.

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The next morning Lorelai awoke from a night of vivid dreams; of helping Luke chase Kirk but trying to reach Luke too, trying to talk to him whilst she held Rory in her arms like a baby, and all she knew was that she was too tired to catch up to Luke and that he was looking at her, from a distance, with a kind of horror on his face...like she'd done something, or said something, or maybe even was something that he couldn't quite fathom.  
  
She rubbed her gritty eyes then. Her head still throbbed and she felt exhausted; as if she'd run a marathon in her sleep. She glanced at her clock: six forty-five and, on impulse, grabbed her phone and dialed the diner.  
  
"Luke's" she heard and breathed in at the familiarity.  
  
"Hi," she croaked in that scratchy-voiced early morning way.  
  
"Lorelai?"  
  
She cleared her throat, "Yeah, sorry, I just woke up."  
  
"Oh," he sounded surprised, "You okay?"  
  
"Yeah... I just... I had a dream..." Lorelai heard only silent waiting on the other end of the phone, "Sorry, this is crazy, I had a dream that you were upset, or angry, or... I don't know... I just... I just wanted to hear that everything was... that everything is the same, I guess. Dumb, hunh?"  
  
"No," he told her gently, "Not dumb. I'm glad you called: Everything is the same, Lorelai."  
  
"Okay... Well, good."  
  
"Will I see you this morning?"  
  
"No, gravel delivery coming early," she responded.  
  
"Oh. Okay."  
  
"I'm bringing Rory in tonight for a proper Luke's send-off though."  
  
"Great," she heard his voice brighten.  
  
"Yeah, you can't go to Europe without a belly full of Luke's coffee, right?"  
  
"Right." he agreed.  
  
"Okay... Sorry, to have been so weird..."  
  
"I don't want you to feel weird about calling me."  
  
"Well, good.... I won't then," she responded a little nervously.  
  
"Good."  
  
"Yeah, good. 'Bye."  
  
"Goodbye, Lorelai, see you later."  
  
Lorelai hung up her phone and moaned: Jeez! If I 'm not running into furniture like a Carol Burnette guest star, then I'm making a complete ass of myself without even getting out of bed. She pulled the pillow over her head then and tried to re-write the immediate past in her mind, to make her stupid call to Luke into something different: Something where she was witty and seductive and... Nope, no there was no changing the fact that she'd been...well, whatever she'd been. Crap.  
  
"Mom?" she heard Rory tap on her door.  
  
"Come on in, honey!" she called from within her pillow, "Boy, do I need to see you this morning."  
  
"Bad night?" asked Rory as she slipped into bed next to her mother.  
  
"The worst," affirmed Lorelai.  
  
"Me too," sighed Rory as she snuggled closer to her mother. "I'm going to miss you, Mom."  
  
"I know, me too, Kiddo," she squeezed Rory's arm.  
  
They lay together quietly in the early morning for awhile.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Will you do something for me while I'm gone?"  
  
"Sure, hun."  
  
"Will you check on Grandpa? I'm worried about him."  
  
"Oh, Rory..."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"Honey, he doesn't want to see me."  
  
"Please, Mom?"  
  
Lorelai sighed, "All right. I'll try."

"Thank you."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It was dark and well past the dinner rush by the time Lorelai and Rory got to Luke's that evening. Luke was cleaning up and only a few customers sat lingering over coffee in the corner.  
  
"Hey," he looked up, relieved to see them, as they sat down, "I'd almost given up on you."  
  
"Yeah, we had a suitcase emergency," Lorelai smiled at him. Yep, the tingle was still there.  
  
"A suitcase emergency?" Luke paused to look at her, grinning.  
  
"Yeah, the zipper broke, so we had to run out and get a new suitcase," _why couldn't she stop with the smiling already?  
_  
"You should have called me, I might have been able to fix it for you," _why couldn't he stop with the smiling already?  
_  
"We didn't want to bother you."  
  
"No bother."  
  
Rory looked at them both, "What's with all this smiling?" she asked with a laugh.  
  
They both snapped out of it then to look at her.  
  
"What are you talking about?" asked Lorelai quickly, "We're just smiling... We like each other... I mean, friends smile at each other, right? Not that we're just friends. I mean, we are friends, but... Oh, God..." she stopped when she saw the looks on both their faces.  
  
"I'll go get you two some coffee," said Luke and walked away.  
  
"Chill, Mom," said Rory, "It's just Luke."  
  
"Right, just Luke," agreed Lorelai and grabbed a menu, "Only not. Not 'just Luke' any more."  
  
"I see," said Rory in amusement.  
  
"Shut up and order," grumped Lorelai.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Well, Mr. Diner-Man, I have to say that you out-did yourself this evening," smiled Lorelai into her coffee.  
  
"Well, good, I'm glad you liked it," he smiled down at her.  
  
"Hey, Luke, why don't you sit down and have some pie with us?" invited Rory, "I won't be seeing you for awhile, after all."  
  
"Yeah, have a seat, Luke."  
  
Luke obliged them.  
  
"Hey, Mom, I was thinking last night about when we first moved into the house," said Rory thoughtfully.  
  
"What made you think of that, honey?" asked Lorelai. The gentleness in her voice caught Luke as he watched them talk.  
  
"I don't know," shrugged Rory, "We were so excited, you know. And the house seemed so big because we didn't really own any furniture yet."  
  
Lorelai laughed, "Yeah, that winter we roller skated in the living room!"  
  
Rory laughed too.  
  
"You roller skated in the living room?" asked Luke, "Do you know what that can do to wood floors?"  
  
"Trust me, we found out," replied Lorelai.  
  
"That first night, I didn't want to sleep in my own room," said Rory quietly.  
  
"I didn't know that," said Lorelai, "Why not?"  
  
"Well, I was excited to finally have my own room, but I'd always shared with you. And I missed you... Dumb, hunh?"  
  
"No, honey, not dumb," Lorelai felt a lump rise in her throat, "I'm going to miss you."  
  
"Mom, it'll only be a month," said Rory.  
  
"Still..." insisted Lorelai.  
  
The three sat comfortably together for a moment then.  
  
"Well, I hate to break up this party, but I promised Lane I'd drop by, and I've been avoiding talking to her," said Rory and looked away uncomfortably.  
  
"Oh right, okay, I'll see you at home later then, hun."  
  
Rory stood to leave and then impulsively leaned over and kissed a very surprised Luke on the cheek, "'Bye Luke, take care of her while I'm gone."  
  
"Betty Friedan would fry you for a comment like that," laughed Lorelai, though she felt almost as touched by this gesture as Luke.  
  
"Yeah, well, the post-feminist generation likes to shake things up," smiled Rory as she left.  
  
Lorelai felt a weariness come over her with her daughter's departure and sighed into it heavily.  
  
"She'll be back soon," said Luke from across the table.  
  
"I know," nodded Lorelai, "It's just..." she shivered then, "Is it cold in here?"  
  
"No, I don't think so."  
  
"Well, I'm cold. I'm really cold," said Lorelai with a frown. She wrapped her arms around herself.  
  
The bell over the door jingled then. They both turned to see Patty come in. She crossed to them immediately with a concerned look on her face.  
  
"Lorelai, is Rory all right, dear?" she asked.  
  
Lorelai's eyes narrowed a bit, "She's fine, Patty. Why do you ask?"  
  
"There is some awful rumor going around that she... Well, did you know that Dean has moved back in with his parents?" she probed.  
  
Lorelai sat up a bit straighter, "No, I didn't know that, Patty."  
  
"Yes, and Lindsay's been saying some terrible things, dear, about the night we were all at your beautiful Inn." Lorelai shifted uncomfortably, Luke noticed. "Of course I know these things aren't true, but you should know what people are saying... If that Dean did anything to her, this town will be out with tar and feathers..."  
  
Lorelai stood up and put her hands on Patty's shoulders and looked her square in the eye.  
  
"Patty, I really need you to be a friend right now," she began.  
  
"Of course, darling, anything," enthused Patty. "No, I mean really, Patty," Lorelai leveled at her. "I need you to not say anything to anybody about this. Can you do that, Patty?"  
  
Patty looked at Lorelai a moment, "It's in the vault, honey, you have by word," she finally said in all seriousness.  
  
Lorelai was sure she looked the relief she felt, "Thank you, Patty. I mean it."  
  
Patty nodded, "Just be aware, Lorelai, honey." she said and turned to leave.  
  
"I will."  
  
She turned back to the table then and started picking up various mugs and dishes and, without looking at Luke, carried them right into the kitchen and began scraping the plates into the sink before placing them in the industrial dishwasher's tray.  
  
Luke followed her in, eyeing her carefully, "What are you doing?" he finally asked.  
  
"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm cleaning up. Since you won't let me pay for this dinner, it means I am your guest, and a good guest always helps with the clean up. Except my mother of course, which is not to say that she isn't a good guest. Because she, as it happens, is an extremely well-trained guest. It just wouldn't occur to her to help clean up because, well that's why some people go into service and others don't. You know, so they can clean up and you can be a good guest by drinking sherry in the living room after dinner...while others do the cleaning up..."  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"What?" Lorelai turned to look at him defiantly.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
Lorelai paused for a moment, "I can't Luke..."  
  
"Seems like everyone is going to know whatever it is anyway," he reasoned quietly, "I can help you more if I know."  
  
"It would mortify Rory."  
  
"All right. I don't want you to make a choice here. I just want you to know that.... Well, that I know you are used to dealing with things on your own. I am too. But, I'm looking to change that... that's what this is all about... seeing if that can be changed... Do you understand?" he asked finally.  
  
Lorelai nodded. She did. She did understand.  
  
"So, I'm here," he finally offered.  
  
"Oh Luke," sighed Lorelai and put her arms around him. He held her for a moment then, quietly. "Mmm," she breathed, "I am so cold and you feel so warm."  
  
They silently cleaned and closed the diner together that night and then Luke walked her home.  
  
"Try to get some sleep," he urged her at the door.  
  
She shook her head in the negative, "My Mom's coming at three to get Rory, so we'll probably just stay up."  
  
Luked nodded at that, gave her a light kiss on the lips and walked home.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
At five the next morning, Luke switched on the diner lights and noticed Lorelai's slumped form in the doorway. He quickly went to unlock the door. She lifted her head and looked over her shoulder at him. He saw the tears streaming down her cheeks.  
  
"Come here," he said, and helped lift her so that she could stand in his arms. When she was able he took her upstairs to the apartment and gave her a cup of coffee. They sat on the sofa a moment then and Lorelai got control of herself.  
  
And then he heard her, in the dim light, and as she gazed down into her mug...  
  
"She slept with him, Luke. She slept with Dean." She looked up at him then and he pulled her close. "I told Rory... I told her, I need someone to talk to... I told her..." she said muffled from within his shoulder. "She wasn't happy about my wanting to talk to you, but she feels so guilty... I'm sure she just thinks it's part of the punishment she deserves or something... And here I am letting Patty... letting everyone think that maybe this was all something Dean did... because you know that is how this will play out... And she's my daughter, Luke, I have to protect her... But she did it, Luke. She did it as much as he did.... And where was I in this situation? Where was I? Where have I been that she didn't know not to do this? She _did_ know not to do this, Luke, damn it, she did! Whatever he said about his marriage... I mean your marriage wasn't going so great, was it? But how did you feel when Nicole... Well, that's who Rory is..." and Lorelai began crying again.  
  
"That's not who she is, Lorelai. It's something she did. And it certainly isn't your fault." he told her.  
  
"Oh God, Luke..."  
  
"It's okay," he softly stroked her head, "It's okay..."


	3. Chapter III

Lorelai lifted her head from Luke's shoulder finally and smiled tearfully into his face,  
  
"Boy, I am quite the romantic, hunh?" she joked.  
  
Luke thumb-rubbed some of her tears away, "You and I are about more than that."  
  
"Yes, we are," she agreed, "And when exactly did you get so deep, Burger Man?"  
  
"Have been all along," he said nonchalantly.  
  
"I see," said Lorelai in amusement.  
  
She leaned her head back on his shoulder for a few moments and sighed, "Is it cold in here?" she finally asked.  
  
"No, I don't think so, but I'm wearing flannel," he said absently into her hair.  
  
"Hmmm, flannel... Do you think it comes in pink with cute little dragonflies all over it?... Because I could get into that."  
  
"I'll check out the LL Bean catalogue for you," he smirked.  
  
"Great, I do have a birthday coming up."  
  
"Hey, I've had your annual present covered for years now," he said, "Something you take shameless advantage of, by the way."  
  
"Oh no!" She pulled away and looked into his eyes merrily, "The bar is raised my friend! Kissing raises the bar in the present-giving department..."  
  
"Ah, Jeez..."  
  
"And if you think I took advantage before..."  
  
"Are you threatening to take advantage of me _now_, Lorelai?" he asked her directly.  
  
She held his gaze a moment on that and then looked away quickly.  
  
"Do you think I could steal some Tylenol from you?" she asked as she arose from the sofa, "No sleep, no food, emotional trauma, all ingredients for a big headache..."  
  
He stood as well, knowing the moment was over, "Sure, in the bathroom medicine chest, go help yourself. I'll get you a glass of water."  
  
Lorelai walked directly into the bathroom: Weird, weird, weird, she thought. But good weird. Get it together, Gilmore. You are not being yourself here. He's Luke. He's great. What is going on with you?...  
  
She flipped open the mirrored cabinet door and began searching for the Tylenol: Hmmm... Mouthwash, toothbrush, toothpaste, floss (naturally!)... Oh, Jeez, Condoms _and_ KY?!... Did not need to see that right now... Nope, did not... He must be pretty considerate though, if lubrication is on the premises.. Or have incredible stamina... Or both....Gah! Stop, Lorelai! Stop thinking now. Do not think these things now... And with that she reached quickly for the bottle of Tylenol (next to the KY, of course, damn it), only to hear Luke suddenly (and uncomfortably?) clear his throat behind her.  
  
"Ah!" she yelped, startled, and afterwards could only remember turning quickly at the sound which was followed immediately by a loud crashing noise as her hand caught on something in the chest....with it all somehow resulting in her sitting on her ass in the middle of Luke's bathroom, surrounded by his meager, though manly, personal hygiene products. He remained rooted in the doorway, his eyes wide with surprise, glass of water in hand.  
  
"What the hell is the matter with me?!" she shouted at no one in particular and then put her head down into her hands.  
  
She was embarrassed. She couldn't look up because she knew he must be beyond embarrassed. And when did she get so tongue-tied anyway? She was always, however horribly inappropriately, the verbal one in these situations. She heard a new sound then and looked up.  
  
And saw Luke laughing, hard.  
  
She had to smile at that and then chuckle too because, God, they were both nearly forty and this was pretty frickin' hilarious.  
  
He slid down the door jamb and sat opposite her and when he'd caught his breath asked, "At the risk of sounding repetitive; Are you all right?"  
  
"No, I think I've lost my mind, along with my sense of balance, propriety, dignity and whatever sex-appeal I may once have held for you."  
  
"I wouldn't worry on that count," he smiled at her.  
  
"Well, good," she smiled and felt nervous all over again, "I'm sorry, Luke, I really am. If we are going to continue seeing each other, I suggest you look into some sort of specialty insurance or something."  
  
"Will do," he winked at her.  
  
"I'd better get going," she said then, "Before I do any more damage."  
  
"Come on," he took her hands and pulled her up.  
  
They walked quietly down into the diner together then, hand in hand. When they reached the front door, Lorelai paused and looked up at Luke.  
  
"Oh, I'll pick you up at six thirty this evening, if that's okay with you."  
  
"Great," he smiled down at her, "What should I wear?"  
  
"Umm...Crash helmet," she said decisively and left into the early morning.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
It was noon and all was quiet on the Dragonfly Front. Sookie and Lorelai were munching on tuna sandwiches in the kitchen.  
  
"I can't believe it!" squealed Sookie for the millionth time.  
  
"Yeah, I know. Just don't spread it around, yet. Okay? It's gonna be hard enough in this town..."  
  
Sookie nodded solemnly, then broke into another big grin, "I can't believe it!"  
  
"Sookie, take the shrillness level down a couple of notches, will you, and help me figure this dinner thing out."  
  
"Okay, sure honey: Italian place in town?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Some place fancy in Hartford?"  
  
"No."  
  
They both sat in silence for awhile.  
  
"I've got it!" Sookie squealed again and clapped as well for good measure.  
  
"That high 'C' you've been working for?"  
  
"No, dinner, silly."  
  
"Lorelai?" Michel interrupted, poking his head into the kitchen, "The tall gangly fellow is here to see you."  
  
"What?" asked Lorelai. "You know, the one with the Shetland Pony haircut, the one with the wife more elegant than he deserves...."  
  
"Dean?" Lorelai choked a little.  
  
"Yes, Dean," responded Michel distastefully, "He is in the Great Room waiting to see you."  
  
"Oh, man," sighed Lorelai as she got up to walk out and face the kid. Stupid kid, she thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid Dean... I should have tackled him that day years ago at the market when Luke stopped me...  
  
Lorelai walked into the Great Room and saw Dean sitting despondently on the settle next to the fireplace.  
  
"Dean..." she began. She had no idea where this was going to go, or what to say.  
  
He looked up at her, the pain written on his face, "Lorelai..." he stood up, "Could I talk to you?"  
  
"Sure, honey, "she answered and crossed over, gesturing for him to sit back down on the settle with her.  
  
"I don't really know what to say, but I'll start with I'm sorry," he began, looking down at his hands.  
  
"Okay," nodded Lorelai, "Well, what's going on with you? Start there," she said this as non-committally as possible.  
  
"I know I screwed up," he said morosely, "Big time," he added. He looked up into her eyes, "I want you to know that I did not plan it."  
  
Lorelai sighed. She believed him. "I believe you," she said.  
  
"Thank you," he said, his gratitude sincere. "Things have been bad for me and Lindsay for awhile now..."  
  
"Dean, you don't need to tell me this."  
  
"I want to. We even went to counseling for a few months," he continued. "She told me she was going to move out of our apartment, Lorelai. She told me that." he said emphatically.  
  
"Okay..." said Lorelai.  
  
"I know that doesn't change the fact that we are still legally married."  
  
"No, it doesn't," agreed Lorelai. They were quiet for a moment then.  
  
"I got Rory's letter today," he added quietly.  
  
"Oh." What could she say to that?  
  
"Did she show it to you?" he asked.  
  
"No, she didn't." Lorelai replied.  
  
"So, everything's over now.... Rory's gone to Europe. Lindsay and her family are going down to Florida for the summer and here I am... still in Stars' Hollow, nineteen, alone and about to be divorced...."  
  
The sadness in his voice caught Lorelai unexpectedly: Stupid kid! _Poor_, stupid kid...  
  
"Look, Dean, nothing I say is going to make this any better for you, I know that. And I could tell you all about time... About how it does make things better, especially when you are nineteen, but I know that's not going to mean anything to you right now. All I can say is that you have to look at this as some kind of opportunity. Some kind of chance to figure out what you really want—not _who_ you want, but _what._ What does Dean want for himself and his life? You've got to figure that out, kid, because that's how you know who you're gonna be. Once you know that, then it's the time to figure everything else out."  
  
"I'll try," he smiled weakly, "Thanks."  
  
"I mean it, Dean, try to figure out what you want, for yourself." Lorelai repeated directly.  
  
He nodded.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
At precisely six fifteen that evening, Lorelai sat perched on a stool at Luke's Diner. Lane came over and poured her a cup of coffee.  
  
"Wow, Lorelai, great dress," said Lane with enthusiasm.  
  
"Thanks," smiled Lorelai, "How's it going with you, Lane?"  
  
"It's going, my Mom and I are getting together a bit," she admitted.  
  
"Well, that's great," said Lorelai sincerely.  
  
"I know you probably had something to do with it," added Lane, "So thank you."  
  
"Oh, I didn't do anything, sweetie."  
  
Lane went to do the coffee rounds then, and Lorelai cast her eyes back to the curtained entrance and the Luke-stairs behind them. She felt her tummy flutter a little. She had to smile at that. She heard his rapid decent then, and watched him slip through the curtains and in to the diner. He was fiddling with the collar of the black sweater she'd bought him years ago. And he'd shaved.  
  
Wow, thought Lorelai, and watched him some more.  
  
"Lane!" he called, "Have you got everything covered?"  
  
"Sure Luke, I'll be fine, don't worry," she walked over to assure him.  
  
"Yeah, well I've been asking a lot of you lately... And, I might like to take a few more evenings off now and then, so I was thinking I'd like to make you a manager—and raise your pay, too."  
  
God, I love him, thought Lorelai.  
  
"Really?" smiled Lane, "Gosh, thanks Luke."  
  
"Yeah, well you're a great kid. I don't really know what it means to be a manager, because I've never had one before, so I guess it just means you'll still do everything around here, but get paid more." he tugged at his ear.  
  
"Well Luke, you do understand that I am also a drummer, right?" said Lane in all seriousness.  
  
"Yeah, of course," nodded Luke, "Your art comes first. Gigs will get priority scheduling."  
  
"Luke, you are the best," grinned Lane.  
  
"Yeah, well don't let that get around," grumped Luke with a wink.  
  
Lane headed into the kitchen all smiles then as Luke started fiddling with his collar again and peering out the window.  
  
"Hey stranger," she called to him softly, "You look great."  
  
Luke turned in surprise and broke into a big grin, "I didn't know you were here," he said.  
  
"What kind of date would I be, if I picked you up late?" she smiled flirtatiously.  
  
They grinned at each other for a moment then.  
  
"I'm afraid we've got it embarrassingly bad," she laughed finally to break the silence.  
  
Luke smirked, "You're right. Hmmm..." he reflected and then turned serious, "Oh, I know—'Stop drinking coffee, it's bad for you!'"  
  
"I love coffee, I will never stop drinking coffee," she vowed solemnly, "Besides, what do you care?" she added defiantly.  
  
"I don't," he shrugged with a frown.  
  
"Ummhmm," nodded Lorelai knowingly, "Come on, Prince Grumpy..." She walked behind the counter then and grabbed his arm and pulled him out the diner door.  
  
Once they were on the sidewalk and crossing to her jeep, Luke said, "You know Taylor was in there watching us."  
  
"Do you care?" she asked.  
  
"No, I really don't," he said looking at her.  
  
"Good," she smiled, "Me either. Now step this way, kind sir." She opened the passenger side door for him with a flourish.  
  
"Ah, Jeez..." he reddened.  
  
"Now, I know you modern guys acknowledge the need for equality, but everyone likes a little chivalry now and then, don't they?" she asked innocently.  
  
"Yeah, yeah..." he shook his head and got in, trying to keep his grin smothered.  
  
Lorelai walked to the other side of the jeep and got in. Just before she started the engine, she leaned over and smiled at him, "Hello," she said and kissed him softly on the lips.  
  
"Hello," he smiled back.  
  
"Mmm, you smell good," she told him.  
  
"You are beautiful," he told her back.  
  
"Oh, these are for you," she grinned mischievously and handed him a nosegay of greens tied with a plaid ribbon.  
  
Luke looked down at the greenery in his hand, "What's this?" he asked.  
  
"Well," said Lorelai as she started the engine and pulled into the square, "I knew flowers would be far too masculine for a rugged guy like you."  
  
"Uh hunh. So, what's this then?" he asked.  
  
"Herbs from Sookie's garden," she laughed, "Smell them."  
  
He complied, "They smell good," he admitted.  
  
"It's the romantic way to do this, damn it," said Lorelai slyly.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
They drove out of town in happy silence then until Lorelai turned into the newly-gravelled Dragonfly Inn drive.  
  
"Did you forget something?" asked Luke.  
  
"No, I don't think so," Lorelai shook her head thoughtfully as she parked.  
  
"Okay..." Luke was confused.  
  
Lorelai exited the jeep and came around to open the door for him. She offered him her hand as he stepped down.  
  
"I happen to know the most divine little Inn," she said as she slipped her arm through his and walked him to the front door.  
  
"Really?" he smiled, catching on.  
  
"Oh, yes. Very secluded. Very private. Excellent chef. Not even open to the public yet."  
  
"I'd love to try it sometime," he offered as they stepped into the Great Room where they were met by a smiling Dereck.  
  
"Good evening, may I show you to your table?"  
  
"Yes please, the best one you have," said Lorelai. Luke just looked at her in wonder.  
  
Soon they were seated across from one another, the room lit only by candles, a fire burning in the Great Room beyond.  
  
"So," said Lorelai as she leaned in to him, "I gave Sookie free reign with the menu, so it'll be a surprise, I hope you don't mind."  
  
"She could serve burnt toast and it'd be great," he acknowledged.  
  
"True." smiled Lorelai.  
  
Just then Dereck arrived with a bottle of wine.  
  
"Would you like to taste it, sir?" he asked.  
  
"Sure," he winked at Lorelai.  
  
He sipped the bit in his glass, "Wow, that's great," he said.  
  
Lorelai laughed in happiness as Dereck filled both their glasses.  
  
She lifted her glass then and looked him in the eye, "To your new manager, May she get lots of evening shifts," she toasted.  
  
"I'll drink to that," smirked Luke and he did.  
  
And then the first course arrived and Luke began telling Lorelai about chasing Kirk through the woods, and Lorelai responded by telling Luke about Michel's attempt to sneak Paw Paw and Chin Chin into the Dragonfly.  
  
And by dessert (the fourth course, each having it's own wine,) Lorelai was warmer and more comfortable and happy than she'd felt in a long time. She only hoped Luke was feeling the same way.  
  
And as if reading her mind, Luke said, "This is a great date."  
  
"I'll drink to that!" agreed Lorelai heartily and then, "Hey, let's go sit by the fire."  
  
She hurried around the table then and pulled out his chair for him. He could only laugh at it all now. She grabbed his hand and pulled him into the Great Room where the settle had been angled in front of the fire by design. Luke stopped mid-room, though. Lorelai turned to him, her eyes questioning. His face had taken a more serious turn.  
  
"Is everything okay?" she asked and bit her lip.  
  
"Yes. Everything is great," he told her and pulled her into his arms. Their lips met without hesitation then, and Luke pulled her body tight to his and Lorelai felt her breasts and hips press into him. She opened her mouth at that feeling and slipped her tongue into his mouth. And when she heard his responding moan, she ground her hips ever so slightly more deeply into him. She felt her reward for this when his hands slid lightly down her back and gently caress then cup her ass with a squeeze. She heard her own moan escape then. They both pulled away, breathing, looking at one another.  
  
"Hi," she said almost shyly.  
  
"Back atcha'" he said, a look of disbelief on his face.  
  
"Let's sit down," she gestured to the settle.  
  
He nodded and joined her as Dereck made an appearance with tray of coffee and tea.  
  
"Oh, thanks Dereck," she smiled up at him, "You can go home now. Thank you so much for everything. And tell Sookie it was the most wonderful dinner ever." She leaned back to sip her coffee and turned in to Luke then, "So, I have to say that I think that my Inn is magic," she proclaimed.  
  
"Magic? There is no such thing as magic," he scoffed lightly.  
  
"Oh, but there is my friend, there is..."  
  
"Hmmm... Maybe, you're right..." he amended and leaned in to kiss her again.  
  
And then her cell phone rang. Lorelai groaned and pulled away from Luke, "I have to get that, it might be Rory."  
  
"It's okay," he nodded.  
  
Lorelai reached to the floor where her handbag sat, retrieved her phone and clicked it on.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Mom?" she heard Rory shout. Even Luke recoiled next to her at the volume.  
  
"Rory? Can you hear me?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Honey, where are you?"  
  
"In Paris at Grandma's sister's," responded Rory, "Actually, I'm down the street right now at a café, so I could call you."  
  
"Are you Okay?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"I'm fine." Rory told her.  
  
"How is Aunt Hope?" asked Lorelai retrieving a dim memory from her past of a woman in leopard skin print with fabulous skin.  
  
"She's a hoot!" laughed Rory, "But listen, I've got to tell you that Grandma and I talked!"

"Really?" asked Lorelai in all curiosity, "What about?"  
  
"Dean, of course," responded Rory.  
  
"Dean? You talked to Grandma about Dean?" asked Lorelai incredulously, "Rory, what exactly did you say to her?" Lorelai was getting worried.  
  
"Well, I didn't tell her every little detail... Just some of it... And she was really understanding, Mom..."  
  
"Okay," said Lorelai doubtfully.  
  
"No, really, Mom. She was supportive," Rory insisted.  
  
"Oh, kid, I don't know if that was such a good idea...talking to her..."  
  
"Why not? She was great. Just because you and she can't talk doesn't mean she and I can't," Rory's voice took on a petulant tone.  
  
"No, you're right," sighed Lorelai, "You are absolutely right. I shouldn't have assumed, I'm sorry," Lorelai looked at Luke on this and rolled her eyes.  
  
He put his hand comfortingly on her knee, clearly having heard every word.  
  
"I wanted you to be happy about this," Rory implored.  
  
"I am, Rory, I am. I'm glad you talked to Grandma. I'm glad you have someone to talk to," Lorelai felt Luke's hand squeeze a little tighter at this and she looked all the gratitude she could into his eyes.  
  
"Well, I will call you in a few days, okay?" said Rory.  
  
"Okay, honey, that is great. I love you. Be careful. Don't take any wooden francs or anything..." she ended lamely.  
  
"I love you too. 'Bye."  
  
"'Bye." Lorelai clicked the phone off and stared into the fire a moment, then looked up at Luke still next to her on the settle, his hand on her knee, "So this Inn must definitely be magic, because only the mysterious powers of a magic Inn could possibly make my mother understanding about something like this—let alone supportive..."  
  
"Well," began Luke but was cut off by ringing of the cell phone again, still in Lorelai's hand.  
  
"Hello," she answered automatically.

"Lorelai, what the hell have you been thinking raising your daughter that way?!" Emily shrieked through loud and clear. She and Luke both winced at the sound.  
  
"Thus the magic ends..." commented Lorelai drily.


	4. Chapter IV

"You know, I can't even begin to comprehend an appropriate answer for that, Mom," Lorelai continued.  
  
"Lorelai, this is serious. What kind of mother are you?! I'll tell you what kind," she answered herself, "An awful one! Your daughter... Your daughter, who goes to Yale, has been fooling around with a married man."  
  
"Yeah, I think they let people who go to Yale do that nowadays too... It's not just for the rif-raff, anymore..." said Lorelai wearily.  
  
Luke listened, his eyes wide, his hand in a clutch now on Lorelai's knee.  
  
"Lorelai, this is serious. I think even my sister Hopie is shocked....and she, for all intents and purposes, is now _French_," bit Emily.  
  
Lorelai sighed, "Mom, I don't know what Rory told you exactly but, yes, she did make a mistake with an old boyfriend. They are both young. He is in an unhappy marriage at nineteen, and Rory had a difficult first year away from home..."  
  
"I cannot believe you are making excuses!" yelled Emily across oceans and continents.  
  
"I'm not, Mom. I'm not making excuses. I'm just..." began Lorelai.  
  
"Actually," continued Emily, "I don't know why I am surprised. After your behavior with Jason, after all the men, in fact... leaving one at the altar even... And of course we don't need to mention what happened when you were sixteen..."  
  
"Because that would be an incredibly hurtful thing to do..." agreed Lorelai sarcastically, her eyes burning.  
  
"All I can say is that I pity the man you end up with, Lorelai. And it is crystal clear that your... behavior... has made an impression on Rory. I had thought that, despite your Bohemian life, you had at least attempted to set an example for her while she grew up... a positive one. Now that I see the results... Now that I see the truth... I am surprised that Rory turned out as well as she did... because with you as a mother--..."  
  
--Click.  
  
The barrage ended.  
  
And Lorelai was only just dimly aware that Luke had taken the phone out of her hand and hung up on her mother.  
  
She looked over at him, her mouth slightly agape, and saw his face... his red and very angry face.  
  
Luke stood up then, dropped the phone on the settle, placed his hands on his hips and expelled a sharp breath, then breathed in another deeper one. And then began to pace.  
  
Lorelai watched him for awhile, her eyes wide and struggling for comprehension.  
  
"D-d-did you just hang up on my mother?" she asked in awe.  
  
Luke stopped his pacing and turned to look his answer at her from the other side of the room.  
  
"You did. You just hung up on Emily Gilmore." Lorelai looked down at her hand where the phone had been and tried to sort that out. What did it mean? What exactly happened to one when one hung up on Emily Gilmore mid-tirade?  
  
By the time she looked up again, Luke was kneeling in front of her, peering into her face.  
  
"Lorelai.." he began softly, his anger managed now.  
  
"So we are still here.." she reasoned. "We have not turned into pillars of salt. We have not descended into Dante's hell...And, as of this moment, there is no shooting pain behind my eye..."  
  
"Right..." answered Luke cautiously.  
  
"You just hung up on Emily," Lorelai told him stupidly.  
  
Luke sighed, "I know that, Lorelai.. I'm--..."  
  
She clasped her hands around his face and looked deeply into his eyes, "Do not apologize, Luke. Whatever you do, do _not_ apologize."  
  
"Okay..."  
  
She gazed at him steadily. "I'm in love with you," she told him. "I. Love. You."  
  
Luke reddened further, "Lorelai, you can't say something like that just because I hung up on your mother."  
  
"Why not? Why can't I?" she protested, "And it's not just because you hung up on my mother, although I do think I want to jump your bones right now, by the way..." Luke looked down uncomfortably at that. She lifted his chin, "It's because; Oh my God, Luke, but I do... I love you... And there you've been all along, and...and I love you."  
  
"Lorelai," Luke caught his breath.  
  
And then the phone rang again.  
  
They both looked down at it.  
  
"If it were a snake..." mumbled Lorelai as they watched it and listened to it as it continued to ring and ring and ring. Until it stopped.  
  
And was quiet.  
  
Lorelai leaned her forehead down onto Luke's shoulder then, "Oh, Luke, I am so tired. Will you take me home?"  
  
He sighed and nodded and gathered her up and drove her home without a word. He left her at her door then, with a soft kiss and a meaningful look.  
  
"This isn't over," he said.  
  
She smiled at him weakly before he walked home.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Lorelai turned off the ringer on her phone.  
  
She switched her cell to 'Leave a message, please...'  
  
She closed all the curtains and drew all the blinds.  
  
She scrubbed off her make up and pulled on the softest knits that she could find—and which were clean.  
  
And went to bed.  
  
And slept long and hard and without dreaming.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Now normally Lorelai would have dawned with a brighter outlook come morning. It was her nature. She came from resilient people, after all. But it was not so this time. She was still tired, despite the sound sleep, and this was almost as big a pain in the ass as being yelled at from France by her mother. Almost.  
  
She got out of bed anyway, because that's what you do.  
  
Once dressed and downstairs she walked past the blinking answering machine without a second glance, grabbed a pop tart and was soon out the door on her way to The Dragonfly.  
  
En route though, she mulled. She mulled on Emily. On Rory. On Dean. On Motherhood. On Rory again. And then finally, on Luke. And that made her smile because, damn it, she did love him. And it wasn't just the audacity of hanging up on her mother (although the sexiness of that act alone was heady,) it was because he was Luke. He was dear, dear Luke. And she loved him. And, wow, had she ever really loved anyone quite this way before?  
  
Nope. She hadn't.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
After a productive morning of not thinking about it all, she decided to go to Luke's for lunch. Once there, she jingled the door open and walked in on the middle of something. More precisely, a small crowd gathered and murmuring softly around a red-eyed Kirk, who was seated at his customary center table. Ever faithful, Lulu sat next to him, rubbing his forearm tenderly.  
  
"Hey," said Luke after he'd caught Lorelai's eye and walked quietly to her side.  
  
"What's going on?" she asked, sotto voce.  
  
"Kirk's mom passed away late last night," Luke told her.  
  
"Oh no, poor Kirk!" said Lorelai with genuine concern.  
  
"Lorelai!" Kirk turned to her tearfully, "Thank you for coming! It's times like this when you learn who your true friends are!" he cried out.  
  
"Well, sure Kirk," she said as if it had been her plan all along. "I am so sorry for your loss," she added sincerely.  
  
"Thank you," lamented Kirk, "Mother always said you seemed like a pretty decent woman, I mean despite that having a child out of wedlock thing."  
  
Lorelai just nodded at that, "Well...that was...kind...of her, Kirk."  
  
Luke snorted and walked back into the kitchen.  
  
"It was her way," Kirk noted and collapsed into Lulu's arms.  
  
Lorelai slipped back into the kitchen after Luke.  
  
"Are you hungry?" he asked.  
  
"I am. I am very hungry," she nodded.  
  
"Why don't you head up to my apartment. It's quiet up there. I'll bring you a sandwich."

"I bet that's where you seat all the Scarlet Women," teased Lorelai.  
  
"Upstairs, Hester," he commanded.  
  
She had to smile at that.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::  
  
Soon Lorelai was seated at Luke's table. He'd followed her up with a sandwich as promised, and after scooting piles of papers out of her way, laid a place for her.  
  
"What's with all this official looking stuff here?" she asked as she began munching a chip.  
  
"Oh, I've been looking into employee health insurance," he told her.  
  
"Really?" Lorelai cocked her brow.  
  
"Yeah, since I've bumped Lane and Ceasar up to more hours, it seemed the right thing to do. Only it's so damn expensive," he groused.  
  
Lorelai nodded, knowingly, "I know. It is. You know, I did scads of research on this for the Inn. I could help you, if you like. I found a great company, pretty reasonable, too. And they make very Green and PC investments—Just your style."  
  
"Oh yeah? That sounds great," he smiled.  
  
"Sure," she nodded.  
  
They paused a moment then, glad to be together, until Luke remembered something.  
  
"Lorelai, about last night... with your mother..." he began uncomfortably.  
  
"Oh, did you happen to overhear something _unpleasant_?" she said with an entirely innocent twinkle in her eye.  
  
"Jeez, Lorelai, that woman..."  
  
"I know, Luke, I know..." soothed Lorelai.  
  
"It isn't right... you don't talk that way to someone you love..."  
  
Lorelai could see he was getting angry again.  
  
"She does, Luke. It's partly why I left."  
  
He looked at her and nodded. "I guess I never really realized," he said quietly.  
  
"Yeah, realization is hard—but it's the acceptance that's tricky," she assured him.  
  
"Wow," he breathed out.  
  
"Yeah." Lorelai agreed.  
  
They were quiet again then, each lost in the thinking about it.  
  
"She does though, you know..." said Lorelai after a moment.  
  
"What?" asked Luke.  
  
"Love me." she told him simply.  
  
"Oh," he responded, though she saw that he didn't really understand at all. Hell, truth was, she didn't either.  
  
"Luke..." began Lorelai but was interrupted by a knock on the door.  
  
"Ah, Jeez... Come in!" called Luke.  
  
The door opened to reveal Kirk and Lulu standing hand in hand.  
  
"Luke, I need to talk to you," began Kirk.  
  
"Okay sure Kirk, come on in," Luke stood, "Have a seat," he gestured to the couch. "Lulu, could I get you something to drink?" he tried politely.  
  
"No thank you, Luke," she said sweetly. Luke nodded.  
  
"I would like a chocolate milkshake, please," noted Kirk.  
  
Luke sighed and looked over at Lorelai, who immediately focused on the exact number of chips she had left on her plate, lest she smile.  
  
"Coming right up," said the beleaguered Luke and went out and down the stairs to the diner.  
  
"So, Kirk," began Lorelai, "I am so sorry about your mom. This was all pretty unexpected, I guess..."  
  
"Oh yes, Mother was in excellent health. Just yesterday she did her Pilates workout."  
  
"Wow. Really?"  
  
"Yes, and then this morning Lulu and I had to call all my brothers so they can come home for the funeral. Life is strange," he reflected.  
  
Lorelai nodded, "I know you come from a large family, Kirk. How many brothers do you have?"  
  
"Eleven," he told her.  
  
Lorelai's eyes widened at that.  
  
"Yes, Mother's favorite movie was 'Seven Brides for Seven Brothers' when she started having children, and then at some point that switched to 'Cheaper By the Dozen'—the original, not that ghastly remake, of course," he told her.  
  
"Of course," nodded Lorelai, "The classic is always better than the remake," she agreed.  
  
"Mother was quite indignant over the remake," he continued, "She started an internet petition about it—got over three thousand signatures..."  
  
Lorelai was riveted by this information.  
  
"How–?..." she began, but Luke came in just then with Kirk's milkshake.  
  
"Here you go, Kirk," he said as he handed it over.  
  
They all listened as Kirk slurped awhile.  
  
"Kirk finds chocolate milkshakes very comforting," Lulu informed them.  
  
Lorelai and Luke nodded at that.  
  
"Yes, I find them very satisfactory, despite my lactose intolerance," said Kirk.  
  
"You wanted to talk to me, Kirk?" asked Luke beyond the point of exasperation now.  
  
"Yes. Luke, Mother was very fond of you..." he began.  
  
"Well, she was a... great... lady," replied Luke with a straight face.  
  
"That she was," agreed Kirk.  
  
Lorelai watched this exchange with the intensity of a Wimbledon spectator.  
  
"You know, she never bowed to convention," Kirk continued in misty reminiscence. "For instance, did you know she never, at any point in her life, shaved.... I mean, anywhere–?!"  
  
Lorelai bit her lip.  
  
"No, Kirk, I didn't know that," Luke looked at his shoes and tugged his ear. His boots were getting awfully scuffed these days.  
  
"Well, I digress," said Kirk, snapping out of it. "She liked and respected you a lot, Luke. Especially since you are my best friend and all."  
  
Luke looked up at that.  
  
"And she loved your meatloaf on Wednesday nights," he went on. "Remember how I always used to pick up your meatloaf for her?..." and here poor Kirk burst into tears.  
  
"Oh, Kirk," sighed Lulu and put her arms around him.  
  
When he'd collected himself, he looked up at Luke again, "You know, my mother went to school with your parents, Luke."  
  
"I know that, Kirk," Luke sighed.  
  
"And they were very kind to her when my father left us."  
  
Luke nodded, remembering too.  
  
"And, she admired the way you dealt with things when your father passed away..."  
  
Luke shifted uncomfortably on that subject.  
  
"The point is, Luke, Mother left explicit instructions that you are to be the executor of her will," said Kirk directly.  
  
And with the completion of that statement, he returned to the comfort of his milkshake.


	5. Chapter V

"Come again?" asked Luke understandably.  
  
"Yes, the executor," Kirk repeated simply, "of her will."  
  
"Kirk, I don't feel comfortable acting as your mother's executor..." Luke tried gamely.  
  
"Oh Luke, you must," said Kirk in sincerity. "It's the only way."  
  
"Why Kirk? Why is it the only way?" Luke gave in.  
  
"She didn't want to show favoritism among we boys—the executor gets a healthy percentage, see?"  
  
"No Kirk, I don't see," grumped Luke.  
  
"All the boys are afraid of you, so they won't make trouble," Kirk explained.  
  
"But what about someone else in the family?" argued Luke.  
  
"There is no one else," Kirk assured him.  
  
"Why not? Surely some of them have families by now," Luke continued to reason.  
  
"No," said Kirk.  
  
"No? Out of all twelve of you, none of you is married?" asked a surprised Luke.  
  
"No," said Kirk again.  
  
"And what number are you again?" asked Luke.  
  
"Eleven. I'm 'K' for Kirk, and K—"  
  
"—is the eleventh letter of the alphabet, right," sighed Luke and rubbed his hand under his hat.  
  
"No!" exclaimed Lorelai in delight.  
  
"Oh yes," Luke assured her.  
  
"She didn't!" Lorelai can't believe it.  
  
"Yes, she did," Luke told her unequivocally.  
  
"Mother named us alphabetically according to birth order. I feel it was indicative of her great common sense," commented Kirk.  
  
Lorelai couldn't think of anything to say to that.  
  
"So Luke, we are gathering at the house this evening at six to plan the funeral and schedule the reading of the will. We'll see you then," and with that Kirk stood to go, Lulu joining him.  
  
"Kirk, wait," said Luke a little desperately.  
  
"I can't, Luke. I have to get back to Mother's house and make sure the Georgian silver is locked up. My brother Bert is a well-known kleptomaniac."  
  
"Oh! Oh! Bert would be number two, right? 'B' for Bert—the second one born, right?!" called Lorelai excitedly.  
  
Kirk turned back to her, "Close, but no cigar today I'm afraid, Lorelai. Bert is short for Albert, which begins with 'A', making him the first born."  
  
"Oh," said a dejected Lorelai. "Who's number two then?"  
  
"That would be Leslie," interjected Lulu.  
  
"Hunh?" asked Lorelai inelegantly.  
  
"Short for Bill—don't ask," grumped Luke, clearly done in.  
  
And with that Kirk and Lulu left.  
  
Luke sat back down at the table and sighed.  
  
"How the hell is 'Leslie' short for Bill?!" demanded Lorelai with a furrowed brow.  
  
"I do not want to do this," Luke stated the obvious.  
  
"I know you don't," said Lorelai sympathetically, "Hey, why don't you come over to my house tonight after the meeting?—I'll cheer you up."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Sure," smiled Lorelai, "We can, you know—hang out."  
  
"Hang out?" asked Luke with a smile.  
  
"Yes, Luke: 'Hang out.' It is colloquial speech for 'spending time together.' Oh, I have to run to the county seat to check some papers this afternoon, and I might hit traffic; If I'm not there when you arrive, the extra key is in the flying pig's snout."

"The flying pig's snout? You mean in that pig thing with wings on the front porch?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Lorelai, how many times have I broken into your house to fix things over the years?"  
  
"Um, I don't know—Is this a game?" she grinned.  
  
"I'll tell you how many—dozens probably. And you're just telling me now that there has been a spare key in the pig's snout all these years?"  
  
"_Flying_ pig's snout."  
  
"In the flying pig's snout—all these years?"  
  
"No," Lorelai shook her head.  
  
"No?"  
  
"It used to be in the frog's mouth," she told him merrily.  
  
Luke just looked at her a moment.  
  
"You're trying to remember exactly what it is you see in me, aren't you?" asked Lorelai shrewdly.  
  
"No...." demurred Luke, looking away.  
  
"Uh hunh... Here: Let me remind you..." She stood then and crossed around to his side of the table and leaned down and kissed him softly.  
  
"Ring any bells?" she asked when she came back up for air.  
  
"Yes," he had to admit, "it does."  
  
"Thanks for the sandwich," she said before she left.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
At seven forty five that evening an exhausted Lorelai pulled into her driveway. She looked up as she dragged herself out of the jeep and saw the porch and living room lights on. She thought she could smell something good, too...Mmmm---cooking? Was that good-cooking smell coming from her kitchen?  
  
She walked through the unlocked front door and threw her bag down, and followed her nose to the kitchen. When she got there, she leaned on the doorjamb awhile to watch.  
  
Luke was stirring something in a pot—something that smelled heavenly. The table was set and not with the 'Charlie's Angels' plates, but with the good dishes Gran had sent her once from Paris, and there were roses in an actual vase in the center of the table.  
  
"Hi," she called to him with a smile.  
  
"Oh, hey," he turned to greet her happily, "I thought you might be hungry, so I made chicken vegetable soup and bread," he told her as he turned to retrieve the baking bread from the over.  
  
"From scratch?" asked Lorelai wide-eyed. She crossed to peer into the pot.  
  
"Well, sure, more or less," he told her with a soft smile and began ladling soup into bowls and setting them on the table. "Have a seat," he added.  
  
She complied then looked up at him, "Luke, you did not need to do this."  
  
"Yeah well, I thought we'd both be hungry and cooking helps me not think about stuff," he told her.  
  
"Was it bad at Kirk's?" asked Lorelai as she grabbed the already opened bottle of wine and filled a glass for each of them.  
  
"The worst," he told her, as he began slicing the bread.  
  
"Were all 'the boys' there?" she asked with a grin.  
  
"Yep, every last one of them," he said as he sat down opposite her.  
  
"Wow. So, you're really going to have to do this, aren't you?" asked Lorelai sympathetically.  
  
"'Fraid so," said Luke, "Eat. You look tired," he urged her.  
  
"I am," she nodded, "I am tired." She dipped her spoon into the soup then and tasted it. "Oh, Luke," she enthused, "this is incredible!"  
  
Luke smiled to see her so happy. "It was my Mom's recipe. When she was ill, it was all she wanted to eat, so I learned to make it for her."  
  
Lorelai nodded, "It tastes different than when you make it in the diner."  
  
"Yeah, it's the rosemary. I have to use dried for the big batches at the diner. For little batches, I use fresh. It tastes better."  
  
"Well, I have to say that I am very impressed," smiled Lorelai as she sipped her wine, "And the roses are beautiful too."  
  
"Well," Luke tugged his ear, "I can't take credit for those. Babbette brought them over from her garden when she saw me coming in with the groceries."  
  
Lorelai laughed, "Sorry about that."  
  
Luke smiled again, "Yeah well, what are you going to do?"  
  
"So, how is Kirk holding up?" she asked as they continued their meal.  
  
"Who knows with Kirk," replied Luke, "Though I have to say that Lulu seems to really care about the guy."  
  
Lorelai nodded, "Aw, that's sweet. Poor Kirk, though. It must be awful to have your mother go so suddenly like that," she reflected.  
  
"I don't know," Luke reflected, "No, I do know. You want to know what's awful? Watching someone you love waste away in pain. That's awful."  
  
"Oh Luke, I'm sorry, I didn't think," Lorelai told him.  
  
"Yeah well, it was a long time ago now," he said. "But I wouldn't want to do it again. I wouldn't even wish that situation on my worst enemy. Better to go quickly and in your sleep than to suffer, or worse, watch someone you love suffer a prolonged illness."  
  
Lorelai nodded sympathetically at that.  
  
"So, have you heard from Rory again?" Luke asked, trying to brighten the mood.  
  
Lorelai shook her head, "Not yet, maybe sometime tomorrow though."  
  
Luke nodded.  
  
They continued to eat, happy to be together.  
  
Lorelai took a deep sip of her wine. "I think I could get used to this," she purred happily.  
  
"Good," said Luke, "me too."  
  
"Luke, what do you think took us so long?" she asked him seriously.  
  
"I don't know, but I damn glad we're here now."  
  
"Me too," she echoed his words.  
  
They paused for a moment then, and having finished eating, Luke stood and walked over to the table and pulled Lorelai out of her chair.  
  
"Come here," he said, "I want to talk to you."  
  
"Talk? Really?" Lorelai raised her brows.  
  
"Come on," Luke ignored her suggestiveness and pulled her into the living room.  
  
Once they were seated on the sofa and turned in to one another, Luke picked up on of her hands in both of his and stroked it lightly with his thumbs.  
  
"I need to ask you something," he said seriously .  
  
"What?!" Lorelai asked wide-eyed.  
  
Luke smiled, "Calm down, Lorelai..."  
  
Lorelai gulped, "I'm calm. I am perfectly calm. Don't tell me I need to be calm."  
  
"O-okay... I need to ask you something _about last night_." Luke carefully emphasized the words.  
  
Lorelai took a deep breath, "Oh, _last night_? Right. Okay. All right: What do you want to ask me about?"  
  
"Well, after I hung up the phone..." he began uncomfortably.  
  
"Very sexy move, by the way," she flirted.  
  
"Uh, thank you, I think," Luke glanced down, "After I hung up the phone, well... you said something. You said something to me, that is..." Lorelai tried to follow his line of reason. "And I know you were upset. And understandably so. I mean, I still get hot under the collar just thinking about your mother. And, before you say it," he lifted a palm to stop the gleeful word about to erupt out of her mouth, "I do not mean hot in any sense of the word 'Dirty'." Lorelai nodded contritely. "I mean angry. I get angry just thinking about her even _thinking_ those things, let alone saying them to you..."  
  
"Luke," Lorelai interrupted, "I don't think this was the point you set out to make."  
  
"No," he sighed, "it wasn't..."  
  
"I told you that I love you, Luke, that's what you want to ask me about, isn't it? You want to know if I really meant it, or if I was joking, or something like that?" asked Lorelai gently.  
  
He looked up at her then, his breath caught, and nodded. Lorelai squeezed his hands with both of hers and looked him in the eye, "Luke, I know it seems crazy... and as my mother will happily point out, I fail at a lot of things like this... But, yes, I did mean it."  
  
Luke let his breath out and smiled at her.  
  
"I mean I have loved you for a very long time," she continued, "I know that now. I really have. But now, it's turning into something else, Luke. It's turning into that feeling that you've never really had before and worry you'll never have again. That 'first time' feeling, the 'it's for real' feeling, only this time it really feels _real_, you know?"  
  
He nodded, he did know. "I know," her told her.  
  
She smiled then, her eyes tearing a little. "It's corny, I guess," she continued, "but there it is and it's terribly grown up. But it's sure too. And there you are," she beamed at him and lifted a hand to stroke his face. "And you are so good. So damn good. And here I am, just a mess of a woman," she placed her hand over his lips to silence his protest, "But I know things now. I mean after everything that has gone on to get me to this point in my life, I know some things for certain. And I have to add that, backwards as it is, I am terrified. Because there you are, here we are, and it's really starting to feel right, and what if I.... I mean, Luke, God... '_What if'_...?"  
  
He pulled her close to him then, "Shhh," he whispered into her hair, "There's no '_What if'_, because, God, I love you too. For a long time now too, just the way you said, only now it is becoming this whole other thing," he felt her nod into his shoulder, "but no '_What if'_, Lorelai. Just this and us trying. Okay?"  
  
She lifted her head to look at him, "Man, all I do is cry around you these days," she told him and swiped at her eyes.  
  
"It's okay," he assured her intensely. They gazed at each other a moment then, recognizing the moment for what it was.

"So," said Luke with a smile, "this is pretty big."  
  
"Yes, it is. Big," agreed Lorelai, smiling too.  
  
She lay her head back on his shoulder then and he held her close. And they simply breathed together for awhile and were very content to do so until Lorelai thought of something...  
  
"Luke?" she interrupted their quiet from his shoulder.  
  
"Hmm?" He stroked her hair absently.  
  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the flying pig's snout years ago."  
  
He had to smile at that. "That's okay."  
  
And after another long pause, she thought to ask, "Hey, what about yours?"  
  
"What about my what?" he asked drowsily.  
  
"Your spare key. Where is it hidden?" she clarified.  
  
"Oh, I don't know if I should tell you that or not," he debated.  
  
"What?" she sat up and looked at him indignantly.  
  
"You're not a very trustworthy woman sometimes. I wouldn't want to wake up one morning to a re-decorated diner, or missing ten pounds of coffee, or..." he teased.  
  
"Luke! Damn it! I told you where mine was; Now you tell me where yours is!"  
  
Luke grinned big and wide at that.  
  
"Oh no! Don't... don't say it, I _implore_ you..." she begged.  
  
"You know I've got to," he told her amiably.  
  
"All right, fine, just be quick about it," she grumped.  
  
"Dirty!" he proclaimed with great satisfaction.


	6. Chapter VI

Lorelai was warm. It felt good. And sleeping was good. The lovely cuddly pillow she was squeezing was good too. She rolled over to get just a bit more warm and comfortably good, and still more warm, too.... and fell off the couch.  
  
Damn.  
  
She blinked and looked around. It seemed to be morning. She looked down. Still wearing yesterday's suit. The charm of that was decidedly lacking. But wait! What was that? She sniffed the air like a well-honed hound: Coffee! And not just any coffee—Luke's coffee! She untangled herself from the afghan and threw it back on the couch and stumbled into the kitchen.  
  
She glanced about. The dishes from last night were clean and dry on the drainer. The coffee pot was full—she headed right over to it, filled a mug and sat down to gratefully gulp. That was when she noticed a note, weighted down at the corner by the vase of Babette's garden roses.  
  
She picked it up to read:  
  
Good Morning, Crazy Lady. I'm sorry I had to leave, I sure as hell didn't want to, but I had to open the diner this morning and start making meatloaf for seventy-five (Kirk wants to serve it after the funeral tomorrow.) Try to drop by today, if you can. The sooner the better, in fact.  
  
Almost forgot---Rory called on your cell while you were asleep. She told me not to wake you, she'll call you again when she can.  
  
Love—Luke.  
  
P.S. Mine's on the sill over the front door.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Later that afternoon at The Dragonfly, Lorelai stood with furrowed brow before the industrial washing machine in the service pantry. She turned to Henry the housekeeper.  
  
"The manual said how many towels at a time?" she asked again.  
  
"I told you," he said impatiently, "You're supposed to be able to do a maximum load of twenty-five full-sized towels at a time."  
  
"And how many did you put in?"  
  
"Fifteen."  
  
"On the maximum setting?"  
  
"Yes, Lorelai. We've been over and over this," said Henry with no small amount of exasperation.  
  
"Right. Okay, we're still under warranty, and we still have exactly one week until we open. Call the number and see what you can do. If they give you any flack, I'll try. Okay?" "I know I did it right," he told her.  
  
"Oh don't worry, I'm sure you did," she comforted, "We'll just take care of it. No big deal."  
  
Just then her cell phone rang in her pocket. She walked out of the service pantry and into the back garden.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Hey, Mom!"  
  
"Hey, sweetie! How are you?! I miss you!"  
  
"I miss you too," Rory told her.  
  
"So are you still in Paris?" asked Lorelai as she sat down on the bench overlooking the vegetable garden.  
  
"Yeah, we are. Listen, I just wanted you to know that I'm really sorry."  
  
"Oh honey, we've been all through this... Everyone makes mistakes. God knows I have..."  
  
"No, no, I'm not talking about that," said Rory definitively.  
  
"Oh okay. You didn't go and sleep with any other old boyfriends, did you? Because that..."  
  
"Mom!"  
  
"Sorry, too soon for my wise but wicked wit?" laughed Lorelai.  
  
"Much!" Rory assured her.  
  
"Okay, sorry. Now what did you want to apologize for?"  
  
"Grandma."  
  
"Oh honey, I gave up looking for apologies for that woman the day she made me wear that Shirley Temple dress to the DAR picnic."  
  
"No Mom, I'm sorry that she ripped into you the other night for my... behavior. She should not have done that. It was in no way your fault. You were right, I guess I shouldn't have talked to her about Dean after all. I mean at the time she seemed so..."  
  
"Whoa. Wait a minute. Back up. She told you about what she said?"  
  
"No, when I called last night I talked to Luke and he..."  
  
"Wait a minute! Luke told you about Mom's carpet bombing?"  
  
"Yeah, we had a good talk about it, he was so great. I mean we really talked. And I am so sorry. I was being selfish because I wanted to talk to someone and, boy, did I pick the wrong person in Grandma. If I'd known it would backfire against you..."  
  
"Rory, slow down. What exactly did Luke tell you?"  
  
"Well, he said that she really yelled at you and said you set a bad example and that..." Rory gulped a little here, "And that you were an awful mother... stuff like that," she sniffed.  
  
"Oh Rory, he shouldn't have done that. He shouldn't have told you."  
  
"Why not? I'm glad he did. I don't need your protection on this, Mom. It's something I did. I should have to live with the fall-out, not you, even if it's from Grandma, and Grandpa too for that matter."  
  
Lorelai could hear that Rory was crying now.  
  
"No, Rory, no. This is old stuff between she and I that's rearing it's ugly head yet again. She will only ever see me in the context of my mistakes. I don't want her to see you that way too, kid," said Lorelai a little desperately.  
  
"Well Mom, that's not how I see it, or want it. I need to have my own relationships on my own terms, even with your mother. I am going to confront her on this one," said Rory with a decided strength in her voice.  
  
"Rory, no, please..." Lorelai was getting tearful now too.  
  
"I'm sorry, Mom. You know I love you more than anything, but that's my decision and you're just going to have to respect it. Now I've gotta go. I will talk to you later. I love you! 'Bye."  
  
"Rory?" Lorelai heard the line click off, "'bye," she added morosely.  
  
Lorelai sat for just a moment then but it was long enough for her to get good and pissed. She snapped her phone shut and marched back into the Inn.  
  
"Michel?" she called as she hurried through to the Great Room. "What do you want?!" he called irritably from the computer at the front desk.  
  
"I am going out!" she snapped as she grabbed her hand bag from the little office behind the desk.  
  
"Well, such is the privilege of the manor-owning class," he groused. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
The diner was bustling at lunchtime peak. Every table full, waiting at the counter. Lorelai scanned the crowd, trying to glimpse the tell-tale flannel.  
  
"Lane! Lane!" she called instead when she caught her eye.  
  
"Hey, Lorelai! Do you want to eat? It's crazy in here today..."  
  
"No, no, where's Luke?"  
  
"In the back—up to his ears in Kirk's meatloaf," Lane told her and then hurried off to make ice tea and coffee rounds.  
  
Lorelai pushed through into the kitchen.  
  
"Luke!" she yelled, eyes ablaze.  
  
"Hold on a minute!" he called as he bent to retrieve an enormous meatloaf from the oven.  
  
Lorelai crossed her arms and waited impatiently.  
  
Luke carefully set the hot meatloaf on a counter, and picked up another right next to it and popped it in where it's counterpart had just been.  
  
"Ceasar! This time do not serve the funeral meatloaf to the customers!" he yelled.  
  
"Hey, they smell it! Lane tells them it's not Wednesday, they want it anyway—what am I gonna do?!" Ceasar yelled back as he flipped three burgers expertly on the grill.  
  
"You're gonna tell them 'No Meatloaf today!' Got it?"  
  
"Yeah sure, boss," grumbled Ceasar.  
  
"I mean it, Ceasar. I do not want to be up all night making more of this stuff!" he turned to Lorelai then with a smile, "Sorry, it's crazy in here today. Are you hungry?"  
  
"No, Luke, I'm not. I'm not hungry," said Lorelai petulantly.  
  
"Okay," he looked at her. "Do you want to go upstairs for a few minutes?" he asked.  
  
"I do," she said darkly and marched up the stairs.  
  
Luke followed her.  
  
Once they were in the apartment, Luke smiled at her again, "Having second thoughts now that we've 'spent the night' together?" he teased.  
  
"You know very well that we only slept, and that you left before I was even awake," said Lorelai humorlessly.  
  
"Are you angry that I left? Is that it?" asked Luke in confusion.  
  
"No, Luke. I'm not angry that you left. I'm angry that you talked to Rory, damn it!"  
  
Luke sighed and took off his hat and threw it on the table before he spoke, "Listen, Lorelai, you need to understand..."  
  
"No, you need to understand!" barked Lorelai. "You don't do this! You don't go running interference between me and my family!"  
  
"You didn't seem to mind when I hung up on Emily!" he snapped back.  
  
"That was different, Luke, and you know it!"  
  
"No, I don't know that, Lorelai..."  
  
"You don't come between me and my kid, Luke, I mean it!" Lorelai gestured for emphasis here, "It was not your place to tell her what Emily said to me. You don't defend me to her. Have you got that? And now, based on your suggestion apparently, she's gonna talk to that woman again. Or, confront her, actually. Do you know what will happen then, Luke? She will end up on the end of Emily's finely sharpened, diamond-tipped, solid platinum, custom- made-by-Tiffanys rapier! My beautiful daughter will be skewered right through, Luke! And I can't do anything about it! Jeez, I don't know how I ever thought this would work between us. I mean if you don't get me and Rory after all these years, then you never will!" Lorelai crossed her arms over her chest again and glared at him.  
  
Luke put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath, glaring back.  
  
They held a long quiet moment between them.  
  
"Bullshit," he finally said.  
  
"I beg your pardon?" asked Lorelai waspishly.  
  
"This isn't gonna work, Lorelai." he told her quietly.  
  
"I think that's what I just said," she agreed acidly.  
  
"No, Lorelai, you don't get it: I didn't mean 'us'. I mean what you are doing now; it's not going to work."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"No, I don't suppose you do," he concurred. "Look, I will not be compartmentalized, Lorelai."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm in your life, Lorelai. That's it. Now us pursuing this—whatever it is... each other, I guess—that's one thing. But I have been around for years. I have watched Rory grow up and I consider her my friend. I love that kid, and you know it."  
  
Lorelai looked down at that.  
  
"I am entitled to talk to her, Lorelai. And required to tell her the truth. And if she asks me for advice, I will do my damndest to give her the best advice I can. The fact that I also love you cannot be kept separate from that. I've tried the compartmentalized life, with Nicole, and I only just recently figured out that I didn't even begin to feel for her what I feel for you. I'm not going to live that way again. Certainly not with you."  
  
"Luke..."  
  
"No, no you don't," he cut her off, "You're not going to say what you were just about to say, or make an excuse, or whatever. I told you this was about us coming together, handling things together. And this is one more thing we need to figure out. Rory is grown up, Lorelai. You need to try to see that in her. Yes, she's young. And made some mistakes. That's what being young and grown up at the same time is about. You've got to let her have that. Now I know you got the cold water of reality thrown in your face far too young, but you can't shield her from that now. That wouldn't be fair. You're too good a mother for that."  
  
"Damn it, Luke!" said Lorelai, still looking down.  
  
"And, just for the record, if Rory had been the one to call you an awful mother, I would have hung up on her too."  
  
Lorelai looked up at that.  
  
"Okay," he allowed, "I probably wouldn't have hung up on her, but I would have been pissed."  
  
"Luke..." Lorelai tired again. She felt defeated and tired.  
  
"Not now," he shook his head, "I'm going back to work. Think about what I said." and with that he grabbed his hat, turned and went back downstairs leaving Lorelai with only herself to sigh her frustration to.  
  
So she left the diner quietly, and without looking back.  
  
Once in her jeep and driving home, she began mumbling angrily to herself... "thinks he can tell me how to raise my kid, does he?....thinks he can just say 'bullshit' to me and get away with it? .... 'I won't be compartmentalized, Lorelai'... huh, I'll compartmentalize him! Big old grumpy, stupid-baseball-cap-wearing, coffee-hating, needing-a-shave-all-the- damn-time Diner-man! ... Gah!"  
  
She'd stopped in her driveway and was pounding her hands on the steering wheel in frustration now.  
  
When she'd finished her tantrum, she leaned forward and rested her forehead down on the steering wheel and closed her eyes. Crap, I want to go back to bed, she thought.  
  
And then a tap at her window startled her back to reality. She looked up and saw Dean. How could a day that started with in-home Luke's coffee turn out so badly?  
  
She grabbed her bag and got out of the jeep.  
  
"Dean," she greeted brusquely.  
  
"Hey, Lorleai, are you okay?" he asked.  
  
"No," she told him.  
  
"Oh..."  
  
"Nevermind, though. What do you want, Dean? And I warn you, my maturity level is not at the heavenly heights it was when last we met."  
  
"Okay," he said with trepidation, "I just wanted to tell you a few things. You, oddly enough, are the only person in this town who hasn't been treating me like a pariah."  
  
"Dean, I have screwed up colossally in my own life, so I know how that is. I even know what it means to be a pariah. I don't think you are bad person, it's not my job to judge you. Would I gleefully throttle you if I could? Yeah, probably. But I am not a Victorian who thinks this was a one-sided thing. I want to throttle Rory too, in a way."  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"God, how could you both have been so stupid?!" she yelled at him, her breaking point clearly reached.  
  
"I don't know," he told her sincerely.  
  
Lorelai looked at him a moment and nodded, then looked away.  
  
"Sorry, Dean. This whole thing... It's just had a lot of repercussions..." She turned to him again. "But you know that better than anyone, I suppose."  
  
He looked down at that.  
  
"So what did you want to tell me?" she finally asked.  
  
"I'm going back to Chicago for the rest of the summer. My uncle has a construction company and he'll give me a job. And then I'm going to look into maybe taking some classes at the University there in the fall. So, I came to say goodbye, really. Once I'm there, I'll write Rory."  
  
"Okay," she said and wondered why she suddenly felt sad.  
  
"Goodbye, Lorelai," he said with one last look before he turned to go.  
  
She turned to walk up the path to her house now, her mind cluttered with the day when the next thing she knew, her feet had somehow gone out from under her and she'd landed on her ass, twisted onto her right thigh. She looked down at the rip in her stocking which ran from ankle to knee, and gave a cry of frustration and pain.  
  
"Oh my God! Lorelai, honey! Are you all right?!"  
  
Naturally her klutz-fest came with a witness.  
  
"I'm fine, Babette!" she called to her neighbor who was standing on the next door porch watching her.  
  
Babette hurried over, "Come on, doll!" she said. "Let me help you in the house... Oh, look at your beautiful stockings, they're spoiled now..." She put Lorelai's arm around her diminutive shoulders and helped her walk up the rest of the way to the porch, "Hey, Lorelai, I just saw Dean leave. Is everything okay? He didn't push you down, did he? 'Cause I'll call the cops on that no-good kid...."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
It took an hour but Lorelai finally managed to reassure Babette and get her to leave with as little information as possible. She sighed and headed up to take a shower then. She ascended the stairs but stopped a moment on the landing, thinking. And when she'd made her decision, she turned and went back down to her desk at the foot of the stairs. After flipping through her leather-bound phone book, she found the phone number she required.. Now she only had to make herself lift the phone and make the call. After another reflective moment, she managed it.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
That evening it was a subdued Lorelai who stood before her parent's front door. She realized with a pause that by now she had spent a larger portion of her life without a key to this door, than with one. With a sigh over that she leaned forward and rang the bell.  
  
After the maid admitted her and had taken her jacket, she walked into the living room and saw her be-spectacled father seated and reading The Wall Street Journal. A large scotch in his hand.  
  
He looked up at her over his glasses and she saw, with a heavy heart, that his eyes were red and the bags under them heavy.  
  
"Lorelai!" he said in surprise, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"It's Friday night, Dad, I came for dinner," she said and crossed to sit opposite him.  
  
"Oh? I didn't expect... Well, fine, I guess there's no reason why we shouldn't..." he trailed off.  
  
"Oh, there are a probably a million reasons why we shouldn't," she told him drolly, "but I thought we should anyway."  
  
"Right," said Richard uncomfortably.  
  
They looked at each other a moment then.  
  
"Dad, I don't want this to be awkward, I mean any more than usual... if you'd rather I'd go," offered Lorelai.  
  
"No, no, I'm....glad you're here, Lorelai," said Richard politely.  
  
"Okay," said Lorelai doubtfully.  
  
"Excuse me, Mr. Gilmore?" said the maid at the door.  
  
"Yes, Inez?"  
  
"Will there now be two for dinner?"  
  
Richard looked over at his daughter, "Yes, Inez, two for dinner," he said definitively.  
  
Once seated, Lorelai noticed that the dinner table was an uncharacteristically austere thing. Without flowers, or silver, or crystal embellishments—all the things that sang of Emily---it seemed only flat and empty.  
  
"So, Dad, how are you doing?" she asked him over the cold soup. "Never better," Richard tried heartily, and drained his scotch. "I can have my drink at the table when your mother isn't here," he told her with a wink.  
  
Lorelai nodded, "So we're not going to pretend that the separation didn't happen any more?" she asked.  
  
"I don't really see the point," he responded. "Of course I didn't see the point in not telling you in the first place. Subterfuge is your's and Emily's bailiwick," he zinged at her.  
  
"Yeah, you're always so up front and direct, Machiavelli," volleyed Lorelai.  
  
Richard regarded her a moment, "Touche," he capitulated. "I have to say though, my machinations are limited to the business world only."  
  
"Except when they spill over into the personal," was her retort.  
  
"Lorelai, why don't we just admit that we're never going to see eye to eye on this," leveled Richard.  
  
"Well, Dad, that's very cards-on-the-table of you," she responded. "I hope," she added slyly.  
  
They looked at each other over that and then laughed.  
  
"Sometimes you are indeed your father's daughter," smiled Richard Gilmore, the tension broken.  
  
"Dad, you know that I broke up with Jason?" she asked.  
  
"Yes, I did."  
  
"I couldn't stay with him, with things as they are."  
  
"Well, I appreciate that, Lorelai," he told her. "I hope it wasn't too...painful for you," he allowed.  
  
"More for him, I'm afraid," she said ruefully.  
  
Richard only nodded at that.  
  
"We'll still have to agree to disagree about it all, if we are going to... co-exist," she said dejectedly.  
  
"I'm sorry it has to be that way."  
  
"Me too," she added sadly.  
  
"But I have to admit that I prefer...co-existence... to the alternative," he commented.  
  
"Me too," she repeated and looked him in the eye.  
  
And then the second course arrived.  
  
"Have you heard from Rory?" he asked over the salmon.  
  
"Yes," said Lorelai cautiously. "Have you heard from Mom?"  
  
"Other than a message left with my secretary that they arrived safely, no I haven't." he admitted.  
  
Lorelai took in her father's haggard face, "They're at Aunt Hope's in Paris," she told him kindly.  
  
He brightened at that a bit. "Oh, Hopie is a lot of fun. They'll have a good time there. Your mother always seems to want to go dancing whenever Hope is around," he reminisced fondly.  
  
"Rory wanted me to be sure you were all right," Lorelai told him.  
  
"Did she? She is a kind girl," he looked over at his grown daughter, "You've done a wonderful job with her, Lorelai. And I neglected to tell you the other night in the midst of the drama, that your Inn is very beautiful as well. I'm sure it will be a great success." Richard leaned in to take a large sip of his wine then to avoid eye contact.  
  
Incredibly touched by this from her father, she blinked back tears. "Thank you, Dad. I'm proud of both."  
  
"Understandably so," he nodded.  
  
"Dad, do you think that you and Mom will be able to..." she tried.  
  
"I don't really want to talk with you about that," said Richard, "It's hard to make a child understand what parents go through."  
  
"Dad, I'm almost thirty-eight," she smiled at him.  
  
"No, you're not," he dismissed her, and then, "Are you really?"  
  
"Yes, Dad. I could show you my driver's license if you like."  
  
"That won't be necessary, Lorelai, it just doesn't seem possible."  
  
"Oh, it's possible," she assured him wryly, "as my medicine chest full of cosmetics can attest."  
  
They ate in companionable silence for awhile then before the dessert course arrived.  
  
Lorelai thought of something then, "Dad, when you and Mom were dating, how was it you knew? I mean really knew that she was the one for you?"  
  
Richard reflected on the chandelier a moment at that.  
  
"It was so long ago, Lorelai."  
  
"I know, Dad. It's just... I have a reason for asking," she told him.  
  
"Is this some sort of misguided attempt on your part to reunite your mother and I? Because I would think you would have done with that after your last catastrophic failure."  
  
"No, Dad, it isn't really. Sad as I am about you and Mom, I am staying out of that now. My reasons for asking are... personal," she said and took a sip of her wine to avoid eye contact.  
  
"Personal? I see. Well, let's see. The thing about your mother..." he began, "I mean other than her great beauty and wit, of course," he reflected, "was that she just seemed to fit along with me. Do you understand what I mean by that?" he asked her.  
  
"Maybe," she allowed.  
  
"Being young and in love is one thing. It's a wonderful thing, in fact," he continued, "But she... I don't know... I just wanted to be with her all the time, and tell her about my day. And she can cheer me up like no one else ever has. And when we are quiet together, well that is just how it should be," he concluded.  
  
"Wait a minute, Dad, I'm confused. Are you talking about back then or now?"  
  
Richard lifted his brows in confusion, "Well, then of course. That was what you asked about, am I correct?"  
  
"Yes, Dad, it was." she nodded, seeing more in that than was said.  
  
"Well now, did that help you any with your personal problem?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, I think so."  
  
"Well, good."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::  
  
At eleven fifteen later that evening she stood before the door, as ready as she'd ever be. She reached up then and ran her fingers over the sill until she found the key.  
  
Before replacing it to it's hiding place, she unlocked the door.  
  
Once inside, she took a moment to relock the door behind her, allow her eyes to adjust to the dark, and take a few deep breaths too. She climbed the stairs then and stood before the 'William's Hardware' windowed door. She could see that a single lamp was on within.  
  
She breathed again, opened the door and stepped into the room, before she could chicken out.  
  
She leaned against the inside of the closed door then and looked around for him.  
  
And there he was, across the room and tucked up in bed, one arm thrown behind his head, the other balancing a large hard-backed volume on his chest.  
  
"I'm here to offer you a once in a lifetime opportunity, sir," she called loudly to him  
  
He startled and looked over, "Jeez, Lorelai, you surprised me."  
  
"This offer is on a limited time basis only," she continued.  
  
"O-okay," he sat up in wonder.  
  
She threw down her purse and small bag then and crossed over to him, her eyes fixed on his face. She stopped a few feet away.  
  
Luke looked up at her in confusion and took in her appearance: a long coat and high heels, an enigmatic smile on her face.  
  
"Um, what exactly is the offer?" he asked.  
  
"Well," she smiled at him, "It involves you and me..."  
  
"So far so good..." he said.  
  
"And a certain piece of very black and very lacy lingerie."  
  
Luke swallowed, "Oh. Really?"  
  
"Yes, in fact," she continued, "I am wearing said piece of lingerie under this coat right now. In fact," she leaned in conspiratorially, "that is all I am wearing under this coat right now."  
  
Luke paused to take a breath, "Ummhmm. But this is a limited time offer?" he asked.  
  
"Well, I'm hoping that the wearing of the lingerie can become something I offer to you on a pretty regular basis," she reflected.  
  
Luke smiled at that and Lorelai noticed his color heighten. "So what is the 'limited time' part?" he inquired.  
  
"Well, that clause pertains to a certain bonus I am offering with this lingerie tonight, and tonight only."  
  
"Bonus?"  
  
"Right. It's a bonus because I wouldn't want you to get to used to... receiving it," she chose her words carefully.  
  
Luke furrowed his brows at that, "And what exactly is the bonus?"  
  
"Well, it involves me standing before you in aforementioned very black and very lacy lingerie, while I look lovingly into your beautiful eyes and say, with meaning I might add, 'You were right' and 'I'm so sorry'."  
  
"Wow! That is quite a deal!" he had to smile at that.  
  
"I think so," she flirted.  
  
"And what exactly do I have to do to receive this extraordinary deal?—with the added bonus, of course."  
  
"Of course," she nodded. "That is up to you."  
  
"Up to me?"  
  
"Yes, once I have stood before you in this incredibly sexy lingerie and said 'You were right' and 'I'm sorry'..."  
  
"Every man's fantasy, by the way," he noted.  
  
She nodded again, "Well, after I've stood before you...that way... and said... those things... Well, what you do then is up to you."  
  
"I see."  
  
"So, are you interested?" she asked provocatively.  
  
"Extremely," he admitted.  
  
"Then I may proceed?"  
  
"Please," Luke leaned back on his elbows and watched her.  
  
She looked unflinchingly into his eyes then, as she unbuckled the belt of her trench coat. And her gaze did not waver as she slowly undid each of the buttons. And when she let the coat fall back and slip off her shoulders and on to the floor behind her, she flushed only a little as his eyes roamed her body and his breath caught again.  
  
He looked back into her eyes then, "God, you're beautiful," he told her hoarsely.  
  
"And, I am Very, Very Sorry and must tell you that You Were Most Certainly Right." 


	7. Chapter VIILucky Seven!

A/N: This chapter should be considered R-rated. All other chapters remain PG-13. My apologies for getting the warning up late. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::  
  
They stared a long stare at each other after that.  
  
"Luke,--"  
  
"Lorelai,--"  
  
They said at once and then laughed a little nervously.  
  
Luke threw the covers of his bed back and swung his feet down onto the floor just as Lorelai hurried over to him. She stopped between his knees and placed her hands on his shoulders. He lifted his head to look at her then.  
  
"Should we talk about this first?" he asked.  
  
Her breathing was a little unsteady, "Um, how about the quick formalities?" she asked, trying to hide her nervousness.  
  
"Okay," came his ragged answer.  
  
"I am on the pill," she assured him.  
  
He nodded. "Do you want me to use...? I mean, I have... in the bathroom..."  
  
"I know," smiled Lorelai, "and, no, I don't think so..."  
  
He nodded again and swallowed, looking at her still, his face furrowed in longing concentration, "Lorelai, I love you... I mean, you know that? Right? This is it for me..." and he buried his face in the cushion of her belly, his arms hugging her close, and let his breath escape.  
  
Lorelai closed her eyes at the warmth of his cheek against her, and began stroking his back as she stood above him, and realized she wasn't afraid of her feelings for this man any more.  
  
"For me too, Luke..." she sighed.  
  
"You didn't need to apologize to me that way," she felt his lips vibrate on her stomach.  
  
"I wanted too," she said softly.  
  
He nodded then and let one of his hands trail down from her buttock to the back of her thigh. He grazed the tips of his fingers up and down the tender flesh there and felt his heart swell when she moaned her response. He gently lifted her leg up over his thigh then and placed her foot on the bed next to him, and then continued to lightly stroke the back of her thigh. Lorelai gripped his shoulders as he began kissing her stomach. She pressed herself into his lips and held her breath and bit her own lip too as his kisses began to move lower, until he was gently licking and nibbling her bare inner thigh. Never once did he stop stroking the back of her leg. Lorelai felt her nipples pucker under the black lace and lifted the hand Luke still had on her hip up to cup her breast. She caught her breath then at his moan.  
  
And when he moved his kissing of her thigh in deeper, she clutched her hands in his hair and breathed out, "Oh God, Luke..."  
  
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She could not. She could not be wanting him again. This was crazy. She giggled out loud at the thought.  
  
"Hey," she heard him say. She opened her eyes to look up at him. He stood before her in nothing but the sun's glow which played over his broad, fair chest.  
  
"I didn't realize you were awake," he smiled at her.  
  
"I don't know how I possibly could be after last night," she smiled back.  
  
He climbed up from the foot of the narrow bed where he'd been standing and lay gently on top of her, scooping his arms underneath and around her.  
  
"Good morning," he told her.  
  
"Good morning," she responded.  
  
And then they kissed and began again, slowly and in the light, their eyes open. And when Luke had collapsed into the crook of her neck after arcing above her, she wrapped her arms and legs around him more tightly yet, unwilling to even let him withdraw from her warmth.  
  
"Don't.." she whispered, "not yet..." and closed her eyes and felt every part of him against and within her.  
  
"I won't.." he assured her as he breathed in her smell.  
  
And finally when regular breathing became necessary again, he rolled off her and lay on his side next to her. He propped his head on his hand and looked down at her then and allowed himself to stroke the white ribbon of skin between her breasts.  
  
He smiled, "Your skin is so soft." She smiled back, "I love you," she said in the bright light of the morning, making it real again.  
  
"I love you, too," he said easily.  
  
"You know," she told him, as he continued to stroke her skin, "It felt sort of corny when I first said that to you. I mean I meant it..."  
  
He nodded and grinned a little.  
  
"But after last night... I mean, we've said it so many times now..."  
  
"Too many to count," he added, as he traced her collar bone with his index finger.  
  
"There were many things too numerous to count last night," she laughed.  
  
"Really?" he smirked.  
  
"Oh, I think you were aware," she told him knowingly.  
  
He smiled, "Well, the feelings were... mutual."  
  
"Yes, they were," she agreed, "Multiply Mutual. But of all the times we've declared our love for each other in the past twenty hours or so..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'd have to say that a certain rhythmic interpretation of yours during the course of the evening was my favorite."  
  
"Ha."  
  
"Oh yes, actions do speak louder than words, my friend, it's true. But action and words together?! We're talking stratospheric impact."  
  
"Well, good," he laughed. "And I have to say that ten years of Lorelai fantasies..."  
  
"Ten years of Lorelai fantasies?!" she asked incredulously.  
  
"Yes," he said looking at her, "ten years."  
  
"Oh my God," Lorelai covered her face with her hands.  
  
"I have to say," he continued, "That the reality is much better."  
  
She peeked out from her hands, "Really?" "Yep." They paused a moment, looking at one another.  
  
"So... did any of these fantasies take place while you were in the shower?" she leered at him.  
  
"Jeez, Lorelai," Luke reddened.  
  
"They did! You thought about me in the shower!" she said gleefully.  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"That's all right," she cuddled up close to him, "I fantasized about you too."  
  
"You did?!"  
  
"Yep," she nodded and thought for a moment, "Oh my God, Luke! What time is it?" she said and sat up quickly.  
  
He looked up at her placidly from the pillow, "Eight thirty," he told her matter-of-factly.  
  
"What?!" cried Lorelai, "Luke, the diner? Who opened the diner?"  
  
"No one," he told her, "the diner is closed."  
  
"What? Luke, it's Saturday." she told him in disbelief.  
  
"Yep," he said and put his arms up under his head.  
  
"But... but, it's Saturday..." she said weakly.  
  
"I know, Lorelai, and I don't care. For the first time in my life I have the most selfishly important reason I can think of to stay in bed. So I am."  
  
Lorelai could only stare at that, "Who are you? And what have you done with Luke?" she asked suspiciously.  
  
"I'm right here, Lorelai. What's the point in having your own business, if you can't close it up when the most important thing in your life is sitting right in front of you?"  
  
"Luke..." said Lorelai softly.  
  
He grabbed her hand and toyed with her fingers, "I put a note up that I'm closed until four today, Lorelai, simple as that. I want to be with you. I called Ceasar and Lane, and gave them the morning off. The funeral's at two and then we'll open up for the wake afterwards—meatloaf for seventy-five, remember?" She nodded.  
  
He sat up in alarm then, "Jeez, Lorelai, don't cry..."  
  
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Lorelai sat at the table and rubbed her damp hair with a towel.  
  
"Luke, you might as well have opened the diner. Look at all the food you made," she laughed as she looked down at his table which was covered in stacks of pancakes, plates of eggs, platters of sausage and bacon, and bowls of fruit.  
  
Luke looked down and tugged his ear, "Yeah, I guess I did get a little carried away."  
  
"Well," said Lorelai as she scooted closer to the table and reached for a plate, "We burned a lot of calories with that athletic shower we took."  
  
He smiled and sat down next to her, "Yes, we did," he leaned in to pop a strawberry in her mouth, "it was much better than the fantasy," he smirked.  
  
She gobbled up the berry merrily, "It's a good thing I'm tall or that particular fantasy might never have been realized.  
  
They ate happily for awhile.  
  
"So," she finally asked over the rim of her coffee mug, "I've told you which was my favorite declaration you made last night. Which of mine was yours?"  
  
"Well," he said thoughtfully, "It was more the way I got to see your face when you said it."  
  
"Oh? Do tell," Lorelai was intrigued.  
  
"More like the angle at which I saw your face," he mused, "There was looking down at you when you said it..." he began.  
  
She nodded.  
  
"And there was looking up at you when you said it..." he reflected. "That was nice."  
  
"Ooo, Luke likes a little domination, good to know," she noted.  
  
"And then, lest we forget there was the time you said it when I couldn't see your face at all," he said slyly.  
  
"You heard that?" she asked with laugh, "Huh. I would have thought the pillow would have muffled the words."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: : :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :  
  
"I don't want to go to the damn funeral," groused Lorelai as she pulled on her stockings.  
  
"Me either," agreed Luke as he pulled on his dress shirt.  
  
"How will we keep from smiling?" giggled Lorelai as she turned for Luke to zip up the back of her skirt.  
  
"Hell, if I know. This may be harder than the wedding. Do you want the little hook at the top done up too?" he asked.  
  
"Yes, and 'Dirty'," she laughed as she turned back to him and started buttoning his shirt. She leaned in to smell his neck then, "Oh God, why did you have to put on that cologne?"  
  
He smiled at her, "For the same reason you put on red lipstick," he told her.  
  
"Right," she nodded as she handed him his dark tie and picked up her blouse. "I guess it wouldn't look right if the will executor and wake host didn't show up."  
  
"No, it wouldn't," he agreed.  
  
"Or if his face and collar were covered in red lipstick when he did," Lorelai stepped closer to him menacingly.  
  
"Don't you dare," he warned her, as he zipped his pants and hooked his belt.  
  
"Party pooper," she pouted. She looked around at the room then as she slipped into her heels, "We did a good job. It doesn't look at all like a night and half a day of incredible passion were held right here in this room," she complimented their clean-up job.  
  
"Yeah, well they'll be a lot of people later... someone might get up here..."  
  
"Hey, is this the book?" asked Lorelai as she noticed the volume, a stack of tapes and a boom box on a side table.  
  
Luke shoved his hands in his pockets, flushed and looked down, "Yeah..."  
  
"Luke," she told him, "look at me." He looked up at her then. "If this got you to me, there is no way in hell I'm going to mock it."  
  
He looked relieved at that, "I just... I don't know what I was thinking. I needed to do something."  
  
She nodded and walked over to tie his tie for him.  
  
"I'm glad you told me about it, though," she added as she finished up.  
  
He slipped his shoes on and grabbed his jacket, as she picked up her purse.  
  
"Me too." he held her eyes a moment. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too," she answered back just as seriously. "We better go though."  
  
He sighed and nodded then and opened the door for her.  
  
"Do you have everything ready for afterwards?" she asked as they descended the stairs.  
  
"Everything I'm doing. Sookie's going to bring some salads. Taylor's gonna bring God-knows-what, probably whatever didn't sell at the store this week and is about to spoil. So we should be set."  
  
"What about flowers?" asked Lorelai as they walked through the diner to the front door.  
  
"Ah Jeez, we don't need flowers too?" he whined.  
  
"Luke, I'll stop at the florist on the way back and get something..." she told him.  
  
"Lorelai..." he began as he unlocked and opened the diner door for her.  
  
"Luke..." she began back at him as she stepped through the open door and into the bright sunshine. She stopped suddenly short though, Luke bumping right into her as he closed the door behind them.  
  
"Are you all right...-?" he began, then stopped and followed her frozen line of vision.  
  
"Dad! What are you doing here?" he heard her squeak to an equally surprised Richard Gilmore standing before her.  
  
"Lorelai, this is nice," said Richard absently, "I was starting to think I wouldn't find you."  
  
"Dad, is something wrong?" Lorelai asked, trying not to panic.  
  
"No, no, nothing wrong," he said, "Luke, isn't it?" he said looking over Lorelai's shoulder.  
  
"Hello, Richard," said Luke shaking Richard's out-stretched hand.  
  
"Nice to see you," Richard went on pleasantly, "I don't believe we've seen you since Rory's graduation."  
  
"That seems right," agreed Luke, looking over at Lorelai.  
  
"Dad, what's going on?" asked Lorelai, trying to re-direct the focus.  
  
"Well, it was such a beautiful day so I thought I'd drive out to see my daughter," he told her heartily.  
  
"Well... Wow, Dad, that's... just... completely unexpected of you."  
  
"Yes," went on Richard as he looked about the town square, "I stopped by your house---no one there, and you weren't at the Inn... And then I remembered how much you love coming to Luke's diner here... and well, here I am." He smiled.  
  
"Okay," said Lorelai, leaning in subtly to check his breath (it was clean), "that still doesn't explain why, Dad."  
  
"Just a whim, Lorelai. Thought I'd take my daughter to lunch or dinner or something... seeing as we're both alone and ...." he looked over at Luke then, "But, perhaps it was a bad idea after all. I'll just head home... It was good seeing you, Luke."  
  
"No, Dad, wait," said Lorelai grabbing his arm. "That was really nice, Dad. I'm glad you came."  
  
"Yes, well..." Richard looked uncomfortably at his feet.  
  
"It's just that we are on our way to a funeral now."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Richard. "And here I gave the cook the day off. Well, Luke, I see you are closed. Perhaps you could suggest some place local where I could get something to eat?" Richard said tiredly.  
  
Lorelai looked over at Luke, "Look, Dad, why don't you stay?"  
  
"Really?" Richard's tone turned hopeful.  
  
"Well, sure, you could come to the funeral with us, or ... or wait here at Luke's and then we could have dinner after..." Lorelai tried.  
  
"Well, I wouldn't want to be an imposition..."  
  
"You wouldn't be at all, Richard," Luke assured him. "Though I suggest waiting over going to the funeral. It's going to be a little... non- traditional."  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
"Yes, Dad, it's fine," Lorelai assured him.  
  
"Tell you what, Richard, you go on into the diner. My place is at the head of the stairs. It's... you know, small.. But you're welcome to wait there. Watch the television, or whatever. There's even food in the refrigerator." Luke told him.  
  
"Well, maybe I will," decided Richard.  
  
"Sure Dad, you go ahead. We'll be back as soon as we can."  
  
Luke unlocked and opened the door for Richard.  
  
"Well, thank you both for taking me in," he waved as he disappeared within the diner.  
  
When Luke turned back to Lorelai she was holding her face in distress.  
  
"Oh Luke, what is going on?" she asked him.  
  
"I don't know," he shook his head, "he does seem weird."  
  
"Oh Luke, weird does not begin to describe it... You don't know my father. This is like an Anne Heche trip for him. Do you think I should go up there and be with him?"  
  
"Well, he's your father, but my suggestion is to wait until he says something to you."  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Oh man, this cannot be good. What is going on with him? Do you think he's finally lost it? Do you think he has an alternate alien personality?"  
  
Luke put an arm around her shoulder, "Come on, the sooner we go, the sooner we'll be back for you to find out."  
  
Lorelai nodded morosely as they crossed the square to the church.  
  
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Later as they sat quietly listening as the service ended, Lorelai leaned over to whisper to Luke, "Wow, she was quite the Renaissance Woman, wasn't she?"  
  
"Even I didn't know that she could play five different brass instruments," Luke whispered back.  
  
They were scooting out of the pew now and moving slowly down the aisle to the Gleason family at the church entrance.  
  
"Okay," she whispered again, "Are the boys standing in line in order of birth?" she asked him.  
  
He sighed, "Yep."  
  
"Which would also be alphabetical, right?" she whispered again.  
  
"Yep. And you probably shouldn't be grinning at their mother's funeral like that."  
  
"You're right." she ducked her head contritely. "I now see why Bill prefers to go by Leslie, though." she noted.  
  
"Yep." said Luke as they inched forward with the crowd.  
  
"Man, he is one beautiful lady," said Lorelai with awe. 'I wonder where he got that dress?"  
  
"He does a variety act in Brooklyn," commented Luke.  
  
"No way!" gasped Lorelai.  
  
"Lorelai," hushed Luke as heads turned to look at her.  
  
"Sorry!" she smiled nervously.  
  
"Will you take me?" she whispered again.  
  
"To what?"  
  
"Well, duh, Leslie's show, of course."  
  
"Is nothing sacred to you? And, no."  
  
"Luke, Lorelai, thank you for coming," Kirk stepped over to them. "It's good to have your dearest friends around you in times like these."  
  
Lorelai felt instantly bad over her Leslie delight, "Oh Kirk," she said sympathetically, "How are you holding up?" she asked him.  
  
"Well, it's not easy," he told them. "But mother wanted all we boys to be strong in the face of adversity."  
  
"Well, that's admirable," Lorelai told him.  
  
"I'm sorry for your loss, Kirk," said Luke extending his hand. Kirk shook it sadly. "We'll see you all at the diner at four, right?"  
  
"Yes, Luke, thank you. It would have meant a lot to Mother, to know that the town was enjoying your meatloaf on her behalf."  
  
"Well, good." said Luke.  
  
"You'll both come to the cemetery, won't you?"  
  
"Oh, I don't know..." said Luke.  
  
"Oh Luke, you must. I don't think I could go through this without your being there," implored Kirk.  
  
"We'll be there, Kirk," Lorelai assured him.  
  
Luke sighed his resignation. 


	8. Chapter VIII

"Wow, look at all the cars lined up like that... A lot of people must have really cared about her," noted Lorelai as Luke handed her out of his truck.  
  
"Well, she got pretty cantankerous and solitary in the past ten years. I imagine most of the people are here for Kirk," replied Luke.  
  
Lorelai nodded and took his arm as they walked quietly to the grave side.  
  
"We are here to commit the remains of Catherine Deberg Gleason..." the Reverend Skinner began.  
  
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"I hate cemeteries," Luke intoned quietly to Lorelai at the back of the crowd.  
  
"I know you do," she whispered back sympathetically and squeezed his arm.  
  
They stood in silence awhile then as all twelve sons of the deceased each in turn scooped up a handful of dirt from the newly dislodged pile next to the grave and tossed it.  
  
"I've never understood that tradition," sighed Luke as the crowd began to disperse.  
  
"Hey Luke," Lorelai turned to him, "Where are your parents?" she asked.  
  
"Over on the crest of the hill, by that stand of trees," he indicated.  
  
"Would you show me?" she asked.  
  
He regarded her for a moment, "Really?" he asked quietly.  
  
She nodded, "I think it's time I met your parents," she smiled sincerely.  
  
"Lorelai, they're dead," he tried gruffly.  
  
"I know Luke, the big granite speed bumps around here clued me in."  
  
"You are quite the Sherlock Holmes," he noted drily.  
  
"I prefer Agatha Christie, she was tall and wore natty tweeds.....Luke, please," she leaned in to him and wheedled.  
  
"Well, only because you want to, "he gave in.  
  
She nodded knowingly, "Thanks Luke. Oh, wait!" she said, and hurried back over to the truck and retrieved a large armful of red tulips from the seat. "I thought those were for the wake," Luke said when she returned to his side.  
  
"Not any more," she told him and grabbed his hand.  
  
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They stood quietly a moment.  
  
Lorelai stepped forward and lay the tulips before the shared memorial marker.  
  
"You know, you've told me a little about your mother being ill, and lots of great stories about your dad. Can you remember anything about them together? Something good?" she asked him after another moment.  
  
Luke thought for a minute then smiled slightly, "They squabbled over the newspaper every morning—over who got the front section first. My dad didn't really care, he just liked to see her fired up a bit," said Luke.  
  
"So, they were happy together, then?" smiled Lorelai.  
  
"When you're a kid, they're just your parents. You don't really think about their happiness, until one is gone and suddenly the other is very unhappy."  
  
"I'm sorry," said Lorelai.  
  
He nodded, "It makes you think about things though—like how much coffee your loved ones drink," he added pointedly.  
  
"Noted," nodded Lorelai kindly. "I wish I'd met them."  
  
"My mother could happily kick anyone's ass in Scrabble," Luke remembered with a bigger smile.  
  
"Impressive," noted Lorelai.  
  
"I haven't thought about that in years," sighed Luke.  
  
"She had a pretty name," Lorelai reflected on the carved marble before her.  
  
"She was a pretty lady."  
  
They looked a moment longer.  
  
"Well..." said Lorelai finally,  
  
"Yeah, we better get back."

"The funeral meatloaf's a'waitin'," she agreed.  
  
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Lorelai set a pitcher of ice tea down on the counter which had become a makeshift buffet and looked about: Everything seemed in place and the crowd was growing by the minute.  
  
"Luke," she called, "I'm going to take a plate up to my Dad." She started scooping mashed potatoes.  
  
"Good idea," he told her as Taylor marched up to face him.  
  
"Young man, what is the meaning of this?" he demanded as he pointed to three Gleason brothers who were setting up kegs of beer on a nearby table. "You don't have a license for alcohol."  
  
"This is a private party, so shut up, Taylor. You know the old lady loved her beer."  
  
"All right fine, but Eddie, Freddie and Gus are going about it all wrong. They should have the cups stacked on the left and...."  
  
"Well, why don't you go over and sort that out? Okay Taylor? And leave me alone. I need to warm up the peas," cranked Luke as he turned to the kitchen.  
  
Lorelai smiled over this exchange and headed up the stairs, her plate now full.  
  
She opened the door to Luke's apartment and saw her father seated in the twilight at the table engrossed in a book.  
  
"Hey, Dad," she called gently.  
  
Richard removed his reading glasses and looked up at her.  
  
"Lorelai," he said, "You weren't gone long."  
  
"It's been a couple of hours, Dad," she told him as she stepped closer to the table.  
  
"Really?" said Richard in surprise and looked down at his watch. "You're right."  
  
"I brought you some dinner," she said as she sat the plate in front of him.  
  
"Well, thank you, Lorelai."  
  
She crossed to Luke's refrigerator then and poured him a glass of milk and set that before him too.  
  
"Well, this is nice. Can you sit with me for awhile and keep me company?"  
  
"Of...of course," she agreed and sat.  
  
The silence was uncomfortable.  
  
"This meatloaf is delicious," Richard finally munched out.  
  
Lorelai nodded, "It's one of Luke's specialties. So... what have you been reading, Dad?"  
  
"Well," he said as he retrieved a large white paperback volume from the chair next to him. "I have found the most engrossing book. A sort of ... well, advice book, I suppose you'd call it."  
  
Lorelai stared at the book in amazement, "Yep, you could call it that. Any good?" she asked casually.  
  
"Well, it's absolutely fascinating!" continued Richard enthusiastically and then drank deeply of his milk. "Do you think Luke would lend it to me?" he asked when he'd finished.  
  
"W-well, I'm sure he would, Dad," said Lorelai.  
  
"If not, I suppose I could have my secretary track it down. I'd just have to write down the title and author. Or perhaps I could call Morris—he finds all my first editions for me. I'm sure he would know where to..."  
  
"Dad, Luke won't mind," she assured him.  
  
"Well, if you're certain."  
  
"I am," she smiled. "Hey, why don't you come downstairs and join us awhile?"  
  
"Perhaps later, Lorelai," said Richard as he re-opened the book, "I'd like to read a bit further if you don't mind."  
  
"No Dad, that's fine. I better go down and help before Luke goes all 'Hidden Dragon' on Taylor, or Kirk starts crying again, or Miss Patty starts dancing..."  
  
"Go, go, I'll be fine," he waved her away.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
An hour later Lorelai retreated to the stairwell. She climbed half a dozen stairs before sighing deeply and sitting down. She put her head weakly to her knees then and reflected on the past couple of days in amazement.  
  
"Hey, I was looking for you," she heard. She lifted her head and saw Luke looking up at her from the foot of the stairs.  
  
She smiled wanly, "Sorry. Just needed a break."  
  
He climbed up and sat next to her.  
  
"Tired?" he asked.  
  
"You could say that," she smiled, "Not a lot of sleep last night," she explained.  
  
He smiled and looked down, "Yeah, me either," he noted. "Are you... okay... with everything?" he asked a little nervously.  
  
"I am so okay," she promised, "love does that."  
  
"Love?"  
  
"Yeah, remember all those declarations last night?"  
  
"Yes, I do seem to have a memory of some... declarations."  
  
"You better," she said and gave his shoulder a nudge with her own.  
  
He put his arm around her then and pulled her close, "Hello," he said and leaned into her.  
  
"Hello," she responded as he kissed her gently.  
  
"I do love you," he whispered at last.  
  
"Good," she sighed and lay her head on his shoulder.  
  
"I have to go read the will to the boys tomorrow," said Luke finally.  
  
"That sucks," Lorelai responded from his shoulder.  
  
"I don't suppose..." Luke began.  
  
"What?" she asked and looked up at him.  
  
"I don't suppose you could come with me?" he finally asked.  
  
"Oh Luke, I have an appointment tomorrow...." she told him apologetically.  
  
"Oh well, that's fine," he brushed it off. "Maybe I could call and change it..." she offered.  
  
"No, no, it's fine," he told her, "You've got your first paying guests at the end of the week, I know you've got a lot on. Just thought I'd ask."  
  
"Luke..."she sighed as he shook his head at her.  
  
"Don't worry about it." he told her and drew her in close again. "You feel cold," he added and began rubbing her back.  
  
"I am..." she agreed.  
  
"Lorelai?!" They both turned their heads then to her father's voice calling from above. He walked down the stairs to them then as they stood to face him.  
  
"Hello, Luke," said Richard, "Thank you so much for your hospitality. Quite the handsome bachelor's place you've got here."  
  
"Well thank you, Richard. It is a little small."  
  
"Nonsense, my man, it's efficient! Everything right where you need it. No female fuss anywhere. Reminds me of a fishing cabin an uncle of mine had years ago upstate," remembered Richard fondly.  
  
"Dad, would you like to come down and join us now?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"Certainly, Lorelai, certainly; Let it never be said that Richard Gilmore is a rude man. Proceed!"  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::  
  
It was after eleven as an exhausted Lorelai sat slack-jawed in a corner of the diner, her face resting in her hands as she watched the proceedings before her.  
  
"One more round!" Richard called merrily and then drained yet another beer. His cohorts gathered about him happily. "Patty, let Leslie take the tenor line this time," he insisted.  
  
"Whatever you say, darling," purred Miss Patty.  
  
Luke crossed over and sat next to Lorelai.  
  
"Am I in a frickin' Fellini movie?" she asked him.  
  
"Kirk's a bit tall for that, but Miss Patty has the right make up," he noted.  
  
"So is Kirk the baritone or the bass?"

"The baritone, your Dad is the bass."  
  
"Okay. So when was the last time Barbershop drinking songs were sung in this place?" she asked him brightly. Then, "Oh right," she nodded at his thundercloud expression.  
  
"Lorelai, your dad's had a lot to drink," noted Luke.  
  
She sighed and nodded, "I know, Luke, but I couldn't stop him. I wish I knew what the hell was going on with him."  
  
"He misses your mother," Luke shrugged simply.  
  
Lorelai turned to look at him, "Oh my God, you're right, aren't you?"  
  
"Come on it's obvious, look at him."  
  
Lorelai turned to see her father doing the Charleston with Leslie.  
  
"Oh Geez! Dad!" she called. "Dad..." she hurried over to Richard and pulled on his arm.  
  
"What is it, Lorelai?" he asked with a jazz-hands shimmy.  
  
"Let's go upstairs for some coffee. What do you think?"  
  
"I think that sounds terribly dull," he responded.  
  
"Please, Dad," she implored.  
  
"Well, if you insist," Richard agreed reluctantly.  
  
"I do, Dad. I do insist."  
  
"All right, lead the way. Goodnight ladies!" he waved to Patty and Leslie.  
  
Lorelai and Luke led her father to the stairs.  
  
"Lorelai," began Richard shakily, "I seem to be feeling a trifle unwell..."  
  
"Okay, Dad... Luke, help me.." They each grabbed one of his arms and wrapped them around their shoulders as they began their ascent.  
  
"You know, I love your Mother, Lorelai. You know that don't you..." asked Richard mistily.  
  
"Yes Dad, of course I do. Come on now, one step at a time... Right... Left.... And again."  
  
"I could never love anyone like her," acknowledged Richard. "Have you ever loved a woman that way, Luke?"  
  
"Yes, Richard, I have," responded Luke as he heaved Richard up another couple of steps.  
  
"Good for you! Lucky man! It is better to have loved and learned than to never have...-- Oh, damn, what is it? What's the phrase? I used to know it by heart, Lorelai..."  
  
"I'm sure you did, Dad," said Lorelai as she helped him up another step.  
  
"It starts with an 'L'.... Let's see... leapt? lemon?"  
  
"Leverage?" offered Lorelai as she groaned him up still another stair.  
  
"No, that doesn't make sense," Richard told her irritably. "I tell you I used to know it. My tutor Mr. Collins insisted that I memorize long lists of well-known quotes and axioms... just for this sort of occasion.."  
  
"Stupefication?" asked Lorelai under her breath.  
  
"But I can't remember it, Lorelai," said Richard as he began to weep.  
  
"Oh Dad."  
  
"Come on Richard, come on.... just a few more steps," grunted Luke as he opened the apartment door.  
  
"Your mother left me, Lorelai," Richard went on tearily.  
  
They set him on the bed then and Lorelai knelt before him to untie his shoes.  
  
"I know Dad, I know," Lorelai soothed.  
  
"Luke, I read your book, and I've made a decision. I'm going to go to Paris and I'm going to win her back...."  
  
"Well, good for you, Richard," said Luke and pulled off the older man's jacket and tie.  
  
"Dad, you're swaying back and forth. I think you better lay down."  
  
"Come on, big guy," coaxed Luke as he gently pushed Richard down against the pillows.  
  
"I just know it will work. I will get her back.... Paris is the city of love, after all... or is that Philadelphia....?" mumbled Richard.  
  
"Oh Dad," sighed Lorelai.  
  
"Lorelai," said Richard as he grabbed her arm.  
  
"Yes, Dad?"  
  
"I know you didn't get pregnant on purpose. I know that," he groaned  
  
"No Dad, you're right, I sure didn't," agreed Lorelai in dismay as she watched her father throw- up over the side of the bed, belch and sigh deeply, then roll over and go to sleep.  
  
"Oh Geez," said Luke and Lorelai as one.


	9. Chapter IX

"Man, I put more peas on his plate than I realized," commented Lorelai as she looked down.  
  
"I will never look at the Jolly Green Giant in the same way again," vowed Luke.  
  
"Huh. You're right. Very disturbing."  
  
"How tall is your Dad, anyway? Nine feet?"  
  
"Oh Luke, this is so not good," she ignored him and crossed to the kitchen for paper towels.  
  
"Nope, in no way good," he agreed as he reached under the sink for a bucket and cleanser.  
  
"Ugh, gross," said Lorelai as she knelt to begin wiping the mess.  
  
"Certainly not how I was hoping to spend this evening," said Luke with an extra strong squirt of cleaning fluid.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Hey, 'Morning," she said tiredly as she plopped on a stool at the counter six hours later.  
  
"You're in especially early," he told her as he poured her a mug of coffee.  
  
"Yeah well, I wanted to check on Sleeping Beauty. How'd it go last night?"  
  
"Well, considering that he was not the Gilmore I wanted to be with..." he told her softly.  
  
"Aww..." she smiled  
  
"...It went fine. He didn't move all night and I got up twice to make sure he was breathing."  
  
"Oh thank you, Luke. You are a good, good man. Is he awake now?"  
  
"He left an hour ago," he replied.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, he looked like hell but he borrowed the book and the tapes and went on his way. Said he wanted to call his travel agent as soon as possible."  
  
"His what? Oh no, Luke, no..." Lorelai shook her head into her hands.  
  
"Yes, 'fraid so," commented Luke as he put a couple of muffins on plates and walked out from behind the counter to serve them.  
  
When he returned to his point of origin, Lorelai tried again, "He doesn't really think he's going to go to Paris to win her back, does he?"  
  
"I believe that's exactly what he thinks," said Luke in no uncertain terms.  
  
"Luke, what the hell is in this book that it's Stepford-ing every man I know? Does it have some sort of transmogrification spell embedded in it? Does it hypnotize you? What? Just tell me—What the hell is in that book?!"  
  
Luke crossed his arms and thought for a moment, "Most of it seemed pretty stupid, actually," he began.  
  
"Okay..." said Lorelai in irritation.  
  
"But there was something about it..."  
  
"What? What about it?"  
  
"I don't know," he finally admitted with a shrug.  
  
"Oh Luke," she sighed into her coffee.  
  
He leaned in to her then, "Lorelai, he's a grown man. They were married for a long time. You need to let them work it out."  
  
She stared at him a long moment, "You're right," she said finally and in some wonder.  
  
He grinned at that and turned to grab a couple of plates for further table delivery.  
  
"I hate that stupid book," she grumped.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::  
  
"So to recap," Lorelai went on as cheerily as she could, "We'll have six rooms full for the weekend and four booked for next week. But the big test will come the following weekend when we have the governing board of the Hartford branch of the Jane Austen Society coming for their annual retreat. We were lucky to get them, and they could potentially turn into an annual thing for us as well, so we want to keep them especially happy. They have rented out the entire place, including the bungalow and meeting room..."  
  
"Excuse me, Lorelai?"  
  
"Yes, Dereck?"  
  
"Will they be in costume?"  
  
"I don't think so," she frowned.  
  
"Ooo! That would be cool though," said Sookie.  
  
"So Sookie, how are plans for their banquet coming?"  
  
"I'm doing some very traditional Georgian dishes... roast meats, ices, marzipan, cold salad soups..."  
  
"Okay," said Lorelai doubtfully.  
  
"They'll love it," Sookie assured her.  
  
Lorelai smiled at her enthusiastic friend, "I'm sure they will," she nodded. "So once again, I'd like to thank those of you who decided to return to our fold, and to welcome once again those who are new to The Dragonfly family. And---Let's have a great week!"  
  
Lorelai sat down in exhaustion as the staff filed out of the Great Room and back to work.  
  
"Jane Austen was an odious English hater of my fellow countrymen," sniffed Michel from his seat by the fire place.  
  
"She wrote during the Napoleonic Wars, Michel, what did you expect?" laughed Sookie.  
  
"Nevertheless..."  
  
"Michel, you left France because you hate the French," pointed out Lorelai as the three rose together and moved toward the kitchen.  
  
"That is irrelevant. I can have that opinion; I am French."  
  
Just then Lorelai's cell phone rang.  
  
"Saved by le bell!" she smiled and opened her phone.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Mom!"  
  
"Rory! How are you? Are you leaking from any recent puncture wounds?" she asked in concern.  
  
"Um, no," said Rory.  
  
"I can hear your brow furrowing in confusion trans-Atlantically."  
  
"That's not even a word, Mom... And, what? You know, on second thought, I'm not even going to ask." Rory dismissed.  
  
"You know you say that, and it is of course a wise choice, but absolutely no fun." pouted Lorelai. "I just was worried that you had talked to Emily about Dean and that she had harmed you. So I am relieved to hear that you haven't been skewered." added Lorelai as she strode from the kitchen to her office.  
  
"Okay," said Rory. "I did, though," she added then.  
  
"Did what?"  
  
"Talk to Grandma."  
  
Lorelai paused a moment to take that in.  
  
"Oh Rory," she said as she sat at the desk with a sigh. "Are you all right?"  
  
"Yes, I am. And I have dis-avowed her of the concept that my... behavior... was in any way your fault."  
  
"Unh hunh," said Lorelai as she began tapping her fingers nervously on the polished cherry wood before her. "And just exactly how did you do that?"  
  
"By using logic," declared Rory proudly.  
  
"Logic?" Lorelai was now worried afresh.  
  
"Yes, I merely pointed out to her that it was in no way her fault that you got pregnant when you were sixteen..."  
  
"Oh, Rory... Oh Rory, that's like Lewis Carroll logic with her," lamented Lorelai.  
  
"...No, Mom, really... I was able to draw a parallel. And I've asked her to call and apologize to you."  
  
"Rory, I lost the need for her apologies long ago. I just want to know that you are okay," Lorelai told her.  
  
"I know, Mom. And I am. But it still wasn't right for her to yell at you."  
  
"Okay kid, if you say so. How are you doing? The truth."  
  
"I have good moments and bad," Rory admitted.  
  
"Oh honey, I wish I were there for you."  
  
"I'm okay Mom, really."  
  
"Yeah? Okay. Because you know I will fly you home any time if you want me to..."Lorelai reminded her.  
  
"I know, Mom. But you don't need to," Rory assured her. "So, how's it going with Luke? And _is_ it going with Luke?"  
  
Lorelai smiled.  
  
"Mom, I can hear you smiling in happiness _trans-Atlantically_," laughed Rory.  
  
"Rory, would you have me committed...? I mean... Would you totally pull a Frances Farmer's Mama on me if I told you...."  
  
"What Mom?" Rory urged gently.  
  
"If I told you that I love him?" she asked quietly.  
  
Lorelai listened to the long pause on the line.  
  
"Rory? Are you there? Tell me what you think. Tell me something...Tell me you're breathing, at least... Rory? I'm getting scared..."  
  
"Chill Mom. I'm just processing."  
  
"Okay, but process faster, damn it!" snapped Lorelai.  
  
"You love him?" asked Rory.  
  
"Yes," answered Lorelai.  
  
"And you've told him that?"  
  
"Yes," she answered again.  
  
"And he's said it back to you?"  
  
Lorelai smiled now, "Yes, babe, he did. We said it to each other and meant it so much."  
  
"Wow." was Rory's only comment. "Too fast for you?" Lorelai asked her.  
  
"Truthfully?"  
  
"Of course," Lorelai assured.  
  
"No."  
  
"No?"  
  
"We've known Luke for so long. I mean he's like family, really. And though I never really thought about it before, I guess we've always loved him, too. And I guess I could see now how you and he... I mean how it could be more for both of you. I think it's always been there in some way," she added the last thoughtfully.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, come on, Mom. Think about it. It's always been there, like this little ghost in the corner."  
  
"Maybe it has," allowed Lorelai, "Does this mean you're okay with it?"  
  
"Does he make you happy?" Rory asked her.  
  
"Oh honey, he really does," answered Lorelai sincerely.  
  
"Well, then I am totally for it... A little weirded out by it, perhaps..."  
  
"Well sure," agreed Lorelai, "Who wouldn't be?"  
  
"But I can honestly say that I am totally okay with it."  
  
"Thank you, sweets. That means a lot. It'll mean a lot to Luke too."  
  
"Yeah well, he better be nice to you."  
  
"He is."  
  
"And he damn well better save me a sprinkled doughnut on Saturdays from now on."  
  
"Oh that will be a done deal, I promise."  
  
"I mean on a special plate, saved 'specially for me."  
  
"Well, duh, of course, if it's left on a napkin, you lose valuable sprinkles."  
  
"That's why I love you," smiled Rory.  
  
"Because I understand the delicacy of the doughnut," reflected Lorelai.  
  
"Of course. So is there anything else going on that I should know about?"  
  
"Well, Dad's really missing Emily."  
  
"Oh, poor Grandpa. Maybe I should call him."  
  
"That would be really nice of you, honey."  
  
"Is there anything else?"  
  
"Uh... What do you mean?" asked Lorelai and began tapping her fingers again.  
  
"I don't know, there just feels like there's something else, "Rory pressed.  
  
Lorelai paused for a moment.  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"No nothing else now, honey."  
  
"Okay,"said Rory doubtfully.  
  
"So how long will you be in Paris?"  
  
"Oh another week, anyway."  
  
"Okay good. Well honey, I've got an appointment I need to get to."  
  
"All right. I love you. I'll talk to you soon."  
  
"I love you too. And you are a great kid! 'Bye."  
  
"'Bye."  
  
And with that Lorelai clicked off her phone and put her head down on the table with a sigh.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
It was eight o'clock that evening. Lorelai sat in her jeep in the parking lot of a nondescript professional building in Hartford. After a long ten minutes of staring at nothing in particular, she picked up her cell phone and dialed the diner.  
  
"Luke's." came the familiar answer.  
  
"Yes, I'd like to order a gallon of coffee and five pounds of chile fries to be delivered."  
  
"Hey, where are you?" Luke's tone softened instantly.  
  
"Uh... I'm in Hartford. My appointment ran long."  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Sure," she assured him, "Why?"  
  
"Your voice sounds different."  
  
"Just tired."  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
"So how did the will reading go?" she asked.  
  
Luke groaned.  
  
"That bad?"  
  
"Lorelai, the woman had four million dollars in cash and assets, not including the house." he complained.  
  
"What?! Oh my God! That has got to be the best thing I've heard all day!" she laughed. "Oh please don't tell me it was in her mattress, because I could literally die from laughter."  
  
"Trust me, the boys are just as shocked," replied Luke tersely "And now, I have to liquidate and distribute this huge pile of money.... Stop laughing, Lorelai, I mean it!"  
  
"I'm sorry, Luke. I know it will be a big hairy pain in the ass for you."  
  
"Do you know the paper work I'm going to have to sort out?"  
  
"Did she leave it to them all equally?" asked Lorelai, biting her lip.  
  
"Yes, except for some commission that the boys and the lawyer are trying to foist off on me," grouched Luke.  
  
"Well, damn them!" yelled Lorelai before she descended into further peals of laughter.  
  
"Geez, Lorelai, the woman wore the same three polyester pantsuits for fifteen years. She only emerged from the house on double coupon day, unless it was to go to the library the day before double coupon day to clip the coupons from the newspaper in the reading room..."  
  
"Luke, stop please! I'm getting a stitch in my side," begged Lorelai as she wiped the tears from her eyes. When she was slightly more composed she added, "That is precisely how she came to have four million dollars, Luke."  
  
"Whatever... I guess... but why did she have to do it on my watch?"  
  
"I don't know, Luke," she smiled.  
  
"And I miss you.," he went on, "Are you coming in?"  
  
"I miss you too," she told him quietly as reality returned, "And, I'm sorry, but no. I need to go talk to my Dad."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I'm sorry, Luke. I really am. There is nothing I'd rather do right now than be with you."  
  
Luke sighed. "It's all right. I know you're worried about him," he excused her.  
  
"Thank you. God, I love you so much."  
  
"Well, the feeling's mutual."  
  
"Luke...?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's just.... I uh..."  
  
"What is it, Lorelai?"  
  
"Um... I miss you too. That's all," and it was her turn to sigh.  
  
"Okay. Listen, you drive carefully."  
  
"I will," she promised.  
  
"And get back here as soon as you can."  
  
"I will. Good night, Luke."  
  
"Goodnight, Lorelai."  
  
She clicked her phone off and breathed quietly into the resounding ache over the tenderness in his voice.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
An hour later she found herself in front of her parent's door. She stared down at her shoes and wondered about words for a minute. About how they completely change things. 'I love you' from Luke had turned her around to see her world in a whole new way. And now the words 'Specialists' and 'Tests' were sending her whirling in a whole other direction...  
  
But no, it wasn't really the words, was it? It was the meaning behind the words, of course. The feelings, and more importantly, (and she sighed over this,) the facts. The facts behind the words, which are sometimes so different from the words themselves. Or what the words indicate really.  
  
Truthfully then, words are pretty meaningless, she reasoned. Because they cannot even begin to show us the facts. The colors, the meanings, the feelings and the future. The future cannot be foretold with words. It just happens to you, sometimes in one fell swoop. And there were just no words for that.  
  
"Aaaaggghhh!" she groaned in frustration.  
  
She gulped the last of her coffee then and reached forward to ring the doorbell.  
  
And when Richard himself opened the door, she was too preoccupied with her current inability to focus properly or to really understand words to be surprised.  
  
'Lorelai? What are you doing here?" he asked.  
  
"Dad... I need your help," she said and bit her lip so that her stupid brain would occupy itself with that rather than the tedious, and embarrassing, job of making tears. 


	10. Chapter X

"My God, Lorelai, where have you come from at this hour?"  
  
"Starbucks, Dad." Lorelai told him and shook her empty cup at him in frustration.  
  
"And that has upset you?" he quizzed in confusion.  
  
"Dad, may I come in?"  
  
"Oh certainly... sorry," he mumbled and stood aside for her entrance.  
  
Lorelai marched into the living room, threw her handbag on the settle and paced back and forth in distraction before the fireplace.  
  
Richard followed her in and sat down on a chair.  
  
"If you have heard something from Emily or Rory, I want you to tell me now," he told her in deadly earnest.  
  
Lorelai stopped and looked at him, her empty paper cup still clasped in her hands, "Oh Dad, no... I'm sorry. I did talk to Rory earlier but as far as I know, they are fine," she assured him.  
  
Richard expelled an audible breath of relief and leaned back into his chair.  
  
"Then perhaps you could kindly fill me in on what your current drama is then?" he asked wearily.  
  
"I need your help," she said quietly and looked down into the fireplace.  
  
"So you said," he nodded, "How much is it you require?" he asked as he arose to cross to the writing desk and checkbook in the corner."  
  
Lorelai turned to look at him directly. She raised her chin, "I don't need any money, Dad," she told him.  
  
Richard stopped mid-stride to turn and look at her in surprise, "Oh? Well, what is it then?"  
  
"Dad, this is hard... I've just been to the doctor..." she began.  
  
"Oh my God, Lorelai, you're not pregnant again?!" he asked and began to pace himself this time. "I'm assuming that Luke is the father? Well, I guess this isn't really the tragedy that it was before..."  
  
"Dad..."  
  
"I mean, I hope you'll marry him. He seems the upright do-the-right-thing sort... But if not..."  
  
"Dad!" Lorelai shouted at him in near hysteria.  
  
"What Lorelai? You don't need to shout," Richard told her as he stopped pacing.  
  
"Dad, I'm not pregnant."  
  
"Oh, I see. Well, what then? You said you went to the doctor? Why would you tell me about that? It doesn't make...." he paused here and looked at her a moment as realization dawned. The color began to drain from his face.  
  
"Dad..." she implored softly.  
  
"Oh, I see, "he said and looked away.  
  
"I need you to help me find a cardiologist. I need to get some tests done. I mean, there is nothing to freak about now. I just... had some symptoms... And now they want to do some tests. It's no big deal. But I know you know the doctors in the area...." Lorelai allowed her thought to trail off.  
  
Richard walked slowly back to his chair without meeting her eyes, and sat down heavily.  
  
Lorelai gulped a little: When did he start looking so old? she wondered.  
  
"You're too young to see a cardiologist," he finally said, looking up at her.  
  
"Apparently not," she quipped.  
  
"All right..." he said and paused, staring off into space.  
  
Lorelai allowed him his silence and crossed over and flopped on the settle and closed her eyes.  
  
When she finally opened them she glanced down at the coffee table before her and noticed a travel folder.  
  
"You're going to go to Paris," she stated rather than asked.  
  
Her voice startled him out of his deep quiet. "Yes." he said.  
  
"Well, I think that's great, Dad," she told him.  
  
"I will go make some calls now," said Richard snapping out of it. He stood and began a brisk walk to his office. He stopped at the entryway to the living room first though to turn back to her. "Lorelai?"  
  
"Yes, Dad?" she asked looking up at him.  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
"I feel fine, Dad. Just tired," she sighed.  
  
"Well, good," he nodded and turned again to walk into his office.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Back home the next morning, Lorelai groaned as she looked up at the kitchen clock: It was late.  
  
"Damn," she swore under her breath as she dragged an enormous bag of trash out to the can, plopped it in, then proceeded to drag the can to the end of the drive. She hurried back then to hop into the jeep and get to The Dragonfly.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Sorry, sorry, sorry..." she snapped irritably to Michel as she hurried past him.  
  
"You are late," he stated after she had deposited her purse and hurried back to his side.  
  
"Yes, I am," she sighed.  
  
"We were scheduled to go over the invoices half an hour ago."  
  
"Michel," she looked into his eyes and placed a hand on his arm, "I am so sorry. Something's kind of happened... and I was just late... I really didn't mean to inconvenience you," she added sincerely.  
  
Michel stared into her eyes searchingly for a moment, "Oh my God, you have terminal cancer!" he exclaimed.  
  
"What?! Michel..."  
  
"And you were such a strong woman... It is very sad..." he continued dramatically, "Because, no wig, whatever the amount of donated hair or however expensive, could ever cover your stick-out-ears in a realistically convincing way. Oh Lorelai, what shall I do?" He stood and hugged her close.  
  
Lorelai squirmed away from him and looked furtively over her shoulder. She then grabbed him by his hand and dragged him into her office, pushed him down into a chair and shut the door behind them.  
  
"Would you shut up?!" she hissed as she propped herself on the edge of the desk before him.  
  
Michel regarded her quietly a moment, "Okay, I was only kidding... but now you have freaked me out."  
  
Lorelai looked away in consternation.  
  
"You are sick, aren't you?" he finally said.  
  
"No... Well, maybe... but it's no big deal," she stammered unable to look him in the eye.  
  
"Please explain 'no big deal'."  
  
Lorelai sighed, "I just have to have some tests done," she stated.  
  
"Because you've been clumsier than usual lately?"  
  
"Well... yes," she looked at him.  
  
"And feeling cold and tired all the time?"  
  
"Uh... yeah." Her eyes were wider now.  
  
"And have had occasional dizzy spells?"  
  
"Okay, stop that! You are freaking me out!" She moved away from him quickly then to sit on the desk chair opposite him. "How did you know all that?" she finally asked, "'Cause I didn't really even realize all that myself until very recently."  
  
Michel shrugged indifferently, "I am highly sensitive and attuned to the well-being of those around me," he explained nonchalantly.  
  
Lorelai could only stare at him on that. She chose to ignore it.  
  
"It's just that I know how people are... they only see things in terms of black and white or 'One Life to Live'." she told him.  
  
"Yes, most people are peasants. Soap operas are for peasants because peasants lack imagination," nodded Michel.  
  
"I don't need this getting around until I know some things... until I understand it. I don't need the whole frickin' town at the door with casseroles because they think I'm some sort of terminal case."  
  
"That would be odious," Michel agreed.  
  
"So, I am going to need you to not talk about this, Michel, please."  
  
"Of course. I am well known for my discretion, "he stood up.  
  
"Thank you, Michel," Lorelai smiled at him.  
  
He turned to go then, but stopped at the door to look back, "Do you need me to do anything for you?"  
  
She smiled at him, "No Michel, just don't assume it's the last days of Linda McCartney here."  
  
"I have already explained about your ears and wigs," he reminded her drily.  
  
"Yes, you did," she nodded. "Besides, it's a cardiologist they want me to see."  
  
"All right. I will, of course, treat you completely normally."  
  
"I appreciate that, Michel."  
  
He nodded his acknowledgment.  
  
"I want the afternoon off," he demanded then.  
  
"What? No!"  
  
"I came in early to go over invoices with you and you did not show up. I want the afternoon off to make up the quality time I have lost with Paw Paw and Chin Chin."  
  
"Michel, get your ass out there and bring in those invoices," Lorelai told him in no uncertain terms.  
  
"Slavedriver with stick-out-ears..." he mumbled as he went out the door.  
  
She had to smile at that.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
She was still frowning over invoices a couple of hours later, ignored sandwich and coffee at her elbow, when the phone rang through to her office.  
  
"Hey," she heard.  
  
"Hey," she smiled, and then, "What are you wearing?"  
  
"Jeez, Lorelai, I'm in the diner."  
  
Lorelai laughed, "You know I think I actually just heard you blush over the phone. So I'm guessing you're wearing more than just those yummy boxer- brief things?"  
  
Luke cleared his throat, "Of course I am."  
  
"If only Stars' Hollow knew what I know about the Flannel Diner Man." she teased suggestively.  
  
"Well, thank God they don't."  
  
"The stamina, the technique, the eager use of alternative positions..." she went on.  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"Luke..."  
  
He lowered his voice then, "Personally I recall the strategic placing of a certain mole... anyone you'd like me to share that information with?"  
  
Lorelai laughed at that, "Um no, I guess not. It is for your eyes only now." she twisted her hair around her finger.  
  
They both smiled at that.  
  
"Are you coming in for lunch?"  
  
"Can't," she told him.  
  
"I feel like I'm seeing you less since we started this," he complained.  
  
"I know," sighed Lorelai.  
  
"How was your Dad?"  
  
"Doing better," Lorelai admitted, "He has a ticket to Paris, though."  
  
"Well, good for him. Maybe it'll work out."  
  
"I don't know, Luke," she doubted.  
  
"Yeah, I know," he agreed, "just hoping."  
  
"Luke...I need to tell you..." she began tentatively.  
  
"What?... Oh Jeez... hold on a minute.." she listened as his voice changed, "Kirk, just sit down and eat!... No, I do not have a handkerchief, I told you that this morning... No! I'm not making meatloaf until Wednesday... No! I do not 'take meetings', Kirk... We'll talk about that with the lawyer tomorrow." She heard him turn back then, "Lorelai, I have to go. I will come see you later."  
  
"But Luke..." she started, but he was gone.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Lorelai answered her door at six that evening.  
  
"Hi," she smiled brightly at Luke who stood before her, diner bag in hand.  
  
He stepped through the door, shut it behind him and dropped the bag on the floor. He slid his arms powerfully around her waist without a word and drew her in to him, locking her to his groin, his hands pressing on her lower back. He kissed her urgently then. And moaned as she deepened it. She ran her hands up and down his back and answered his moan with one of her own. He cupped and squeezed her ass then. She felt the responding flood of desire, then pulling away roughly, regarded him a moment: The hunger between them was palpable.  
  
"Come on," she said huskily and pulled him up the stairs to her room.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
She lay flat on him at last, her energy spent, and felt the warmth of their bodies meld them together, skin to skin.  
  
Luke kissed her forehead tenderly and wrapped his arms around her back.  
  
They lay in contented silence, their breathing still slightly ragged.  
  
When she lifted her head, she laughed, "We didn't even take off your hat!"  
  
He smiled too, "Well, it wasn't exactly necessary to do so, now was it?"  
  
"No, I guess it wasn't," she agreed, "Emily would say you weren't being a gentleman though."  
  
"Do you have to mention her right now?" he winced.  
  
"I guess it is kind of a mood killer," she acknowledged, and rolled off him to snuggle at his side.  
  
He wrapped his arms around her as she adjusted her position and kissed her again. "I love you," he sighed.  
  
Lorelai sighed as well when he began gentle stroking down her back.  
  
"I love you, too." and then, "How's it going with The Billionaire Boys Club?"

"We have to get her house cleaned out. We're going to call one of those estate sale services."  
  
"Good idea," she nodded, "Is there a lot of stuff?"  
  
"Well, Kirk's bomb shelter room is pretty spare. But upstairs the old lady was quite the pack rat," he grumped.  
  
Lorelai lifted her head then, "Luke, where is Kirk going to live now?"  
  
He looked down at her at that, "Jeez, I don't know. I hadn't even thought about that yet. He could afford to buy his own place once the probate is all sorted out."  
  
"But he's lived his entire life in that house," she reminded him.  
  
"Yeah, I know. I don't know, maybe he and Lulu will..." he offered.  
  
"Are they at that point in their relationship?" she asked him pointedly.  
  
"He told me he loves her," he responded with meaning, "I mean, do you think they need to know anything else? Neither one is getting any younger, after all."  
  
"Nope, neither one is, that's for sure," she agreed.  
  
"I mean I don't know if they reached that point of sureness, you know that realization..." he went on.  
  
"That realization?"  
  
"You know how you're with someone and you are constantly wondering 'Is this right?' or 'Are they the one?' "  
  
"Yeah..." she answered, feeling her tummy flip.  
  
"And how when you finally get that feeling, you identify it right away..."  
  
'And wonder how you could have been so dumb as to question whether or not you could even recognize it when it came along..."  
  
"Yeah," he agreed.  
  
"But have they been together long enough to consider..." she gulped.  
  
"Well, Kirk and Lulu aren't like us," he acknowledged and focused on a distant point on the ceiling.  
  
She rolled over onto her back to observe the same point then.  
  
"No, they aren't like us," she agreed.  
  
"I mean you and I have known each other for years..."  
  
"True."  
  
"We already know everything about each other..." he reflected.  
  
"It's really only this part that's new," she added.  
  
"And the recognition of the feelings.."  
  
"Yeah, we were pretty slow uptaking that recognition thing..."  
  
They both lay quietly thinking about that a moment.  
  
"Luke...—?"  
  
"Lorelai...—?"  
  
They started at once.  
  
"Go ahead," he insisted.  
  
"Is there anything else about me you need to know?" she asked him softly.  
  
"Well, now that I've got the location of that mole memorized, I feel pretty set," he smirked. "Why, is there something else you want me to know?" he asked, looking at her.  
  
Lorelai paused a moment.  
  
"Yes, there is..." she began nervously.  
  
"Wait, what was that?" he asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"That." he repeated when he heard it again.  
  
"The frickin' doorbell," groused Lorelai as she got out of bed and grabbed a robe. "I'll be right back."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::  
  
She opened the door grumpily. "Michel? What are you doing here?" she asked in surprise.  
  
"I have brought you something," he responded and walked past her into the living room.  
  
"How un-..Michel of you," she commented.  
  
He pulled a jar out of the leather tote he was sporting and handed it to her.  
  
Lorelai looked at it in confusion.  
  
"You brought me a jar of dirt?"  
  
"No, you Amazonian idiot," he snapped, "it is tea."  
  
"You brought me tea?" she asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Michel, I don't drink tea."  
  
"I know that," he told her irritably, "but this is special tea."  
  
"Special? As in 'funny' special? Because I don't do illegal..."  
  
"No, it is special tea made by my mother."  
  
"Your mother makes tea?"  
  
"She makes this special blend for me and now I am giving it to you," he said with an oily smile.  
  
"Well, that's very nice of you..." she fumbled.  
  
"It is Maman's special blend of organic healing herbs," he went on, "it promotes circulation and good health. It will also stimulate the prostate."  
  
"Oh wow, really? Well that's... good to know. This is really thoughtful of you, Michel..." she began. "Damn, who is it now?" she grumped when she heard the door bell ring again.  
  
She had no time to cross to open it, when Sookie burst into the room, carrying a large pot with oven-mitted hands, "Lorelai! I've brought you some soup!" she called and went into the kitchen to set it on the stove. She came striding back in, "Did you know that there's a diner bag on the floor by the front door?"  
  
"Uh..." stammered Lorelai.

"Oh honey, why didn't you tell me? I came over as soon as I could... And why are you holding a jar of dirt?" she asked.  
  
"It is not dirt! It is a special healing tea. My mother's own blend," said Michel angrily.  
  
"It'll stimulate my prostate," said Lorelai to no one in particular.  
  
"Well, it can't possibly help more than my soup," returned Sookie vehemently.  
  
"Stop! Both of you," yelled Lorelai. They both silenced immediately and turned to look at her expectantly. "Good. Now, Michel, I asked you specifically not to say anything to anyone," she reprimanded.  
  
"I did not," he asserted.  
  
"You didn't?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Sookie...?"  
  
"He didn't say anything, Lorelai," Sookie agreed and went on, "I took a call after you left. Doctor Steiner wants to confirm you for testing at the hospital in Hartford..." she fumbled in her pocket a moment for a piece of paper. "Well, here, I wrote it all down," she handed it over. "Lorelai, why didn't you tell me something was going on? Honey, is it serious?" Sookie began to tear up.  
  
"No... Sookie, I just didn't want to ...." began Lorelai.  
  
"Oh hello, Luke," she heard out of Michel then.  
  
She turned her head then to see Luke standing in jeans and t-shirt at the foot of the stairs, his expression unreadable.  
  
Lorelai groaned and put her hands over her eyes. "Tell me you didn't just hear every word Lucy and Ethel here have been saying...?" she implored.


	11. Chapter XI

Luke didn't answer.  
  
Lorelai dropped her hands from her face and met his gaze.  
  
"I was just trying to tell you..." she said seriously.  
  
She trailed off into the silence. Sookie and Michel looked between them, puzzling out the situation.  
  
"Oh wow!" jumped Sookie, "Luke has a tattoo! You have a tattoo, Luke! I never knew you had a tattoo. I mean I've known you forever and I never knew you had a tattoo," she went on nervously. "Did you know Luke had a tattoo, Michel?"  
  
"Well I never thought...." Michel considered.  
  
She turned to Lorelai, "Did you know Luke had a tattoo, Lorelai?"  
  
Lorelai looked at her darkly.  
  
"Oh right!" laughed Sookie, "Of course you knew... duh..."  
  
Lorelai grabbed an arm of each of her friends, "Okay Tweedle Soup and Tweedle Tea, it's time for you both to leave." And she marched them both to the front door.  
  
"Good idea," agreed Michel.  
  
Lorelai opened the door and threw them out then and shut it behind them and turned to face Luke.  
  
"Oh crap, just a minute," she told him and turned to open the door she'd just closed, "Thank you for the soup and tea!" she called out to Sookie and Michel who were at the foot of the stairs talking in some animation.  
  
They looked up at her.  
  
Lorelai sighed, "Michel, why don't you fill Sookie in on our earlier conversation, please."  
  
Michel nodded and she closed the door again.  
  
She turned and met Luke's gaze again, marched over, grabbed his hand and pulled him to the sofa. They sat down and regarded each other a moment.  
  
"Luke, I swear to God, I was mid-sentence telling you when the doorbell rang," she began.  
  
He nodded and crossed his arms over his chest. "The only reason Michel knew was that he guessed. Honestly, it was like this fluke thing and he guessed. And, well, Sookie's legendary ability to chat people up is, well, legendary and.... well, you just heard how she found out..."  
  
They were quiet then.  
  
"Luke," she began softly, "I was about to tell you. I was about to tell you first because.... well... not even Rory knows, Luke. I mean I thought about waiting until the tests were over and I knew something concrete to tell you. Something I understood. But then I remembered how you keep telling me that we are together in things now, so I started to tell you.. And it's most likely just nothing, anyway."  
  
Luke sighed.  
  
"And never in a million years would I want you to find out this way. I mean I know how the whole... medical thing.... freaks you out...."  
  
He looked at her. "Tell me now," he said.  
  
"There isn't much to tell," she shrugged. "Lately I haven't been feeling too great. And, though I normally have the grace of Giselle, I kept bumping into stuff and I was feeling cold and tired... Oh boy, was I cold and tired... Anyway, at first I thought 'not enough sleep;' or 'stress;' or 'Luke's making me nervous with his unofficial moves;' or 'not enough bran'... or something...."  
  
Luke lifted his brows at that.  
  
"And maybe it is all that, I don't know. So I went to the doctor. And Jeez was he thorough. I believe I had proddings and peerings and pokings in every orifice of my body... And I'm not talking about in the good way, if you get my drift."  
  
He did.  
  
"I mean these proddings were in no way fun," she frowned, "And then they checked my fluids, just like a car: I'm low on WD 40, by the way."  
  
"That's not a car oil, Lorelai, that's a lubricant."  
  
"Dirty!" she smiled.  
  
"Fluids? You were saying–?"  
  
"Uh, right. So they took gallons of blood and there were none of the indicators for cancer or plague or anything like that, but my blood pressure was pretty low."  
  
"I thought low blood pressure was supposed to be a good thing."

"Me too! I'm like all proud about it to the doctor—'See what lovely low blood pressure I have, doc?' I said."  
  
"And what did he say?"  
  
"He said, 'Don't call me doc...'"  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"He said low blood pressure might not be so good for me, and that I need to go get all these boring tests."she admitted.  
  
They sat together for a moment and stared into the empty fireplace.  
  
"Luke, say something, please..."  
  
He sat for another minute.  
  
"Well... Okay, then," he turned to her.  
  
"Okay? Hmm... Okay, he says? Why am I feeling relieved and suspicious at the same time?" she frowned.  
  
"That would be because you are crazy," he said.  
  
"Oh right," she nodded. "So... Okay? --Really?"  
  
"Am I really okay?" he asked. "No, I'm worried. I love you, so I'm worried. But I'm not going to go off the deep end. We still don't know anything, right?" She nodded in response. "So we'll wait and cross that bridge when we come to it."  
  
Lorelai smiled her relief, "Thank you," she said. "And how is it that you are so mature?"  
  
"It comes with maturity," he responded, "pretty novel, huh?"  
  
"You mean you actually mature as you mature?" she gasped. "Huh. I've got to try that. I mean if I am getting older all the time anyway..."  
  
"Right," he agreed.  
  
She snuggled against him then. "I love you," she said softly.  
  
He smiled into her hair at that.  
  
"Hey, would you spend the night?" she asked. "All the way until morning?"

"I'd like nothing better," he agreed.  
  
"I think I could get used to this..." she smiled and pulled him up toward the stairs.  
  
"Don't you want dinner?' he laughed.  
  
"Nope. Just you," she told him over her shoulder suggestively as she climbed to the landing.  
  
He stopped cold at that, "Okay," he said, "Now I really am worried!"  
  
"Ha ha."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
She floated into the diner the next morning. I am literally floating, she thought, and I am propelled along by my glowing beauty and idiot grin, and I don't even care that I am not making sense.  
  
She sat down at the counter.  
  
"Hey," he came to her with an already full mug of coffee.  
  
"Hey yourself," she smiled at him, then leaned in to speak softly, "You are blushing and smiling at the same time—You're blushling."  
  
"I am not blushling," he stage whispered the last word.  
  
"Ha! I got you to say it!" she triumphed, "Now my day is perfect!"  
  
"Well, glad I could help," he grumped, keeping his smile to himself. Almost. "What can I get you?" he asked in his official diner voice."  
  
"Well, I really burned a lot of calories last night," she reflected.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes, I am starting a new exercise regime."  
  
"Well, good for you."  
  
"I haven't stepped on the scale yet, so I'm not sure if it's working or not."  
  
"Well, takes awhile with exercise, before you see the results."  
  
"I guess I'll just have to keep at it," she noted.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"So, I'll have bacon and sausage, an egg over easy, and a chocolate doughnut," she decided.  
  
"Coming right up," he told her and turned away.  
  
Lorelai sipped her coffee. Her life was good in just about every way.  
  
"Lorelai!" she turned her head as Kirk hurried over to her.  
  
"Oh, 'morning Kirk, how are you doing?" she smiled brightly.  
  
"Oh God, you are an amazing woman," he said sitting next to her.  
  
"Well, thank you, Kirk," she tried in confusion.  
  
"So brave," he continued.  
  
"Brave?"  
  
"In the face of adversity..." he nodded, "Mother would have loved you. It's good she didn't live to see this," he sighed.  
  
Lorelai looked over both her shoulders, sure that she was missing something, "See what, Kirk?"  
  
"It's always the saddest when it strikes the young," he added.  
  
"Ah," she said, the penney dropped now. She frowned, "Who told you?"  
  
"Patty," he informed her.  
  
"Uh hunh," she nodded darkly, "Look, Kirk, I'm just having some tests. There is no need to assume that this is anything that serious..." she tried.  
  
"If there is anything you need..." he went on, "Meals delivered, medicinal marijuana, bedpans..."  
  
"Whoa, whoa, there Kirk, I am fine! I don't need any of those things, I assure you."  
  
"Lorelai, you are a role model for us all," he sighed as he left.  
  
She turned back to her coffee then. How had it gotten out so fast? Damn this town, she sighed.  
  
"Lorelai, darling, I came to find you straight away," she heard over her shoulder now.  
  
"Patty," she smiled at the colorful woman, "Not straight away, I hope? I'm sure you had to stop and talk with some of our good, good neighbors en route," she added with a hint of steel in her voice.  
  
"Oh Lorelai, you are so funny," shifted Miss Patty uncomfortably, "I've just heard the news, my dear..."  
  
"Who from?"  
  
"Oh, I don't recall right now..."  
  
"Un hunh..."  
  
"I've just been on the cell with Leslie, dear: If it's Lupus, he can arrange a benefit performance at the club where he works—the owner has a sister in law with the same thing."  
  
"W–well, Patty.... thank you. And, be sure to thank Leslie for me as well. But it's not Lupus, just some tests, that's all, nothing to be at all alarmed about... or to... benefit for."  
  
"All right, honey, I understand. You've got to maintain your dignity. I admire you for it."  
  
"No, you don't understand; I am in no way dignified. I am just...ugh!... I am just hungry! Luke, where's my food?!" she called out in irritation.  
  
"I'll let you eat, honey, and talk to you later," soothed Miss Patty.  
  
Luke returned to his place behind the counter and set a plate down before her.  
  
"What's this?" she asked in dismay.  
  
"Breakfast," he told her casually, looking her right in the eye.  
  
"Luke, this is not breakfast. Breakfast is sausage and bacon, and eggs and a creamy chocolate doughnut," she whined.  
  
"No, this is breakfast," he told her pointedly.  
  
She looked at him a moment.  
  
"Well, what is it a least?" she finally asked.  
  
"An egg white omelette with spinach and broccoli, wheat toast, and melon." he proclaimed and crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
She glared. She sighed. She pouted.... and, finally, she gave up.  
  
"Fine," she grumped and picked up her fork.  
  
Luke nodded at that and walked away.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Sooookie? Where are you?" she called into the kitchen in the sweetest voice she could summon. "Oh hey, Dereck," she grabbed the waiter as he passed her, "Where's Sookie?"  
  
"Um, she... uh..." he stammered.  
  
"Yes?" Lorelai asked directly.  
  
"Oh crap, I can't do this when you put the screws to me like that," he caved.  
  
"Good boy, now where is she?"  
  
"She's in the herb garden hiding from you."  
  
"Thank you, Dereck," she whirled and headed out to the garden.  
  
"Sookie!" she yelled as she approached the woman who knelt in the basil.  
  
"Oh, Lorelai!" smiled Sookie brightly, "Hi. How are you feeling this morning?"  
  
"Sookie," growled Lorelai.  
  
"Oh damnit, you know, don't you?" She rose and came over to her friend and grabbed her hands. "Lorelai, I am so sorry! Michel told me you didn't want anyone to know. But I was so upset I needed to talk so..."  
  
"---You talked to Jackson?" sighed Lorelai.  
  
"I am so so sorry."  
  
"Sookie, I haven't even told Rory yet, and now the whole town knows!.... Babette gave me a talk at the post office about shaking off my denial and embracing acceptance. Taylor heard that I was terminally ill and wanted to know what provision I've made for The Dragonfly... And Luke made me eat vegetables for breakfast!" she yelled the last.  
  
"Did you hear the part when I said how sorry I am?" Sookie asked, her eyes glistening.  
  
Lorelai stopped and sighed at her friend, "No, I understand I do. You needed to talk but Jackson... well..."  
  
"...Is incapable of keeping a secret, I know it. He is. It's true. He wears his heart on his sleeve. It's part of the reason why I love the big lug... but he's very upset about it Lorelai."  
  
"Sookie, there is nothing to be upset about! It's just tests."  
  
"Right. Okay. Just tests," Sookie nodded.  
  
"Just tests," Lorelai repeated pointedly.  
  
They were quiet then.  
  
"I am sorry," repeated Sookie.  
  
"I know you are, hun." sighed Lorelai. "Listen, I need to talk to Jackson, could you call him and see if he can come see me this afternoon?"  
  
"You aren't going to hurt him, are you?"  
  
"No, Sookie, I'm not going to hurt him. I might have a job for him."  
  
"Oh, okay."  
  
"You know you could make it up to me...?"  
  
"Oh! How?"  
  
"Well... do you have any chocolate doughnuts in the kitchen?" wheedled Lorelai as she and Sookie wrapped their arms around each other and walked back in.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Lorelai stepped out of the shower and slipped into her robe later that evening.  
  
She walked over to the phone then and dialed.  
  
"Luke's Diner." she heard.  
  
"Lane?"  
  
"Lorelai?"  
  
"Yeah, how are you kid?"  
  
"Oh working, you know. I'm glad you called though, I really need to say something to you," Lane went on.

"Oh for crying out loud!" yelled Lorelai, "It's just tests! Damnit!"  
  
"Okay..." said Lane, "I just wanted to thank you for that box of stuff you dropped by for us the other day: The dishes and towels and stuff..."  
  
Lorelai sighed, "Oh Lane, I am so sorry. This stupid town has been driving me crazy all day."  
  
"I know," commiserated Lane, "It's been quite the diner buzz. I figured you probably didn't want to talk about it."  
  
"Oh thank you, Lane, 'cause I really don't."  
  
"But are you okay, Lorelai? I'm really worried."  
  
Lorelai sighed again, "I'm fine Lane, I'm just having some tests. There is nothing to even know yet."  
  
"Well okay, good then."  
  
"Yeah, good," agreed Lorelai, "Is Luke–?"  
  
"I mean," Lane went on, "I love you, Lorelai, you know that, don't you? I used to fantasize that you were my mom sometimes, and then I'd have to pray and ask for forgiveness... it actually got to be this whole vicious cycle for awhile...because..."  
  
"Lane?" interrupted Lorelai.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I love you too."  
  
They paused for a moment.  
  
"Honey, is Luke there?"  
  
"Um, no, he went upstairs a minute ago... you should probably call up there," Lane told her.  
  
"Thanks, kid. I'm glad you liked the stuff I left."  
  
"Thanks again, Lorelai."  
  
"'Bye."  
  
"'Bye."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
He found her in the kitchen, still in her robe. He dropped his duffle bag on the floor and walked over and slid his arms around her waist and kissed her shoulder. She smiled.  
  
"Hey, you really are making dinner," he said in surprise.  
  
"Well yes, I am. If the reheating of Sookie's soup qualifies," she told him as she set the bowls on the table. She turned to him then for a soft kiss. "Hmm... that was nice," she purred.  
  
He smiled and they both sat down to eat.  
  
"Did you bring your stuff?" she asked.  
  
"Yep," he told her.  
  
"Oh goody! We get to play house again!" she exclaimed. "So, how was your day, dear?" she batted her lashes at him.  
  
"We've got the estate sale lady coming tomorrow."  
  
"Ooo! Fun! Do you need any help? Because I'm meeting with Jackson again in the morning about the maze, but I could come by after lunch," she told him.  
  
"The maze?" asked Luke.  
  
"Oh, that's right, you don't know yet. Well, I told you about the Jane Austen people coming, right?"  
  
He nodded and poured them some wine.  
  
"Well, this is so exciting," she went on "Their head lady came by today and we were talking... And she loves the Inn," added Lorelai, her eyes aglow, "And she wants to make it a regular stop for their group—like maybe several big meetings a year! So, we decided it might be fun to grow one of those English hedge mazes on the back lawn."  
  
"Hedge mazes?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, you know like in Harry Potter. The English in Austen's time loved them. You plant the hedges like a maze and they eventually grow into walls and you go walk around inside them and get lost trying to find the center, it's a hoot."  
  
"Getting lost is a hoot?"  
  
"Well, it can be if you get lost with the right person," she smiled, "It'll take a long time for it to fully grow in, but we can start it and it'll be fun. Jackson says that we can get some fast growing Rosemary hedge bushes from the nursery for a great price, so the maze will smell really good too. He's so excited about planning it. We went online this afternoon to research them."  
  
Luke grabbed her hand and smiled, "Sounds great," he told her.  
  
"No, you're great," she smiled and leaned in to him, "I'm sorry my hands are cold," she added after a minute.  
  
He looked down at their intertwined hands and began rubbing hers absently to warm them up.  
  
"You know how you were asking me about my parents the other day... about them being together and remembering that?" he asked and looked up into her eyes.  
  
"Yes," she nodded.  
  
"Well, I remembered something this afternoon," he went on.  
  
"Oh, will you tell me?" she asked.  
  
"I remember one time we were all having breakfast. It wasn't a special day or anything. Just us. Just breakfast. And my Dad leaned over and picked up my Mom's hand..."  
  
Lorelai nodded, intent on the story.  
  
"Anyway, my Dad said to her, 'Your hands are cold'. And my Mom says back, 'I must be in love.' and they smiled at each other. That's it. That's all I remember really.... It must have been some old fashioned saying, you know—'Your hands are cold, you must be in love'... Aw, nevermind, it doesn't make sense... Just something I remembered," he looked away and laughed it off.  
  
Lorelai clasped his hands in both of hers then, "They loved each other, Luke," she told him.  
  
"Yeah, they did," he agreed and looked into her eyes again.


	12. Chapter XII

He picked her hand up then and kissed it.  
  
She leaned in to him and smiled, "Hey, how 'bout I wash the dishes and you make us some Medicinal Dirt Tea?"  
  
"You'll drink the tea?" he raised his brows.  
  
"Hey, I ate the vegetables this morning, didn't I? I'm giving that maturity thing a wee try," she told him and stood to gather the dishes, "Just don't get too used to it."  
  
"Nope. Not holding my breath on that one," he promised as he reached for the kettle.  
  
"Good looking, intelligent, and he cooks too! What was I thinking all these years?"  
  
"No comment."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Early the next morning, Lorelai stood at her bedroom window and looked out at the emerging light. When Luke stirred and opened his eyes to look at her, she wiped her own eyes and turned away.  
  
"What's going on?" he asked groggily.  
  
"Shhh... Nothing. Go back to sleep. If you're going to sleep in, at least let yourself do it," she told him softly.  
  
"Lorelai..." he sat up, "Why are you crying?"  
  
She turned but didn't meet his gaze, "I'm not," she told him.  
  
"Come here," he told her, and threw back the covers.  
  
She climbed in next to him and he wrapped his arms around her.  
  
"Luke?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"What if I really am sick?" she asked him.  
  
He sighed into her hair, "Lorelai, I know you're scared. Just hold on until we know something."  
  
"So calling the psychic hotline is not a good idea?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Damn," she frowned. "Luke, I haven't told Rory anything about this."  
  
"I know."  
  
"She's got so much going on herself right now..." mused Lorelai.  
  
"Yep," he acknowledged.  
  
"What do you think?" she asked.  
  
"I think telling Rory makes it real in way you don't want it to be."  
  
Lorelai propped herself up on her elbow and looked at him in wonder.  
  
"What are you doing?" he asked.  
  
"Waiting for you to unzip your rubber face and let Dr. Phil out."  
  
"Jeez. I'm not Dr. Phil. I'm just the guy who loves you. The guy who has apparently lost his mind," he yawned, "What time do you go in for the tests exactly?"  
  
"Well, I scheduled it for after the Jane Austen people will have left..."  
  
Luke sat up at that, "What? But they don't even come until next week!"  
  
"That's right," she nodded, "So I go in a week from Monday at ten o'clock. They'll have all checked out by then." she told him.  
  
"When you said Monday before, I thought you meant this Monday," he said with rising ire.  
  
"Luke..." said Lorelai as she sat up too.  
  
"No, Lorelai, you call them today and get it switched to this Monday," he told her.  
  
"No Luke, I can't. I have to get ready for the Jane Austen people..." she tried to explain.  
  
Luke looked at her in disbelief for a moment, then got out of bed and started jerking his jeans on angrily.  
  
"W-where are you going?"  
  
"To the diner," he snapped, not looking at her.  
  
"But... but you were going to sleep in," she reminded him.  
  
"Not any more." He turned to look at her then, "You just don't get it, do you?"  
  
"Luke..." she wheedled.  
  
"No, clearly you don't," he said and pulled his shirt over his head.  
  
"Luke, don't go..."  
  
"This isn't something you play around with, Lorelai," he told her angrily.  
  
"I'm not playing around! I am getting my Inn started! And a frickin' week isn't going to make any difference. And, excuse me, but it is my choice to make!" she was angry now too.  
  
He regarded her quietly for a moment.  
  
"That's not true and you know it, Lorelai," he told her. She looked down at that. "And you don't know if a week will make a difference or not. I told you from the beginning that this is about a partnership. You're not the only one in this. You don't get to make the choice for how long I wait for an answer about this too, just because you have to plan some stupid Jane Dickens party!"  
  
"Austen," she bit.  
  
"Austen! I don't care if it's William Fucking Shakespeare himself coming, Lorelai!'  
  
"Don't yell at me!" she yelled.  
  
"Yeah well, you tell me how else I'm supposed to get through to you, huh?" he started pacing now, "Years now, Lorelai, years... I've waited years for this... for you!... You are not going to do this. You are not going to selfishly prance through your life and pretend this doesn't affect other people—like some sort of, I don't know, politician, or something!..." he yelled in frustration.  
  
"Politician?! What the hell does that mean?"  
  
"I don't know!" he shouted in exasperation, "You're just not looking at the big picture, you're focusing on yourself and your stupid job that doesn't mean anything next to this... When there are people who love you... and want you in their future... Like Rory... Like me... People who can only see their future with you in it... Who don't even want a future if you're not there..."  
  
"What happened to not freaking out until we know something?" she demanded.  
  
"That's over! Consider me officially freaked! Do you think I want you to slip away like everyone else I ever loved...?"  
  
Lorelai stared opened mouthed at him for a moment.  
  
"Luke," she reached out.  
  
"No! This is crazy..." he ran his hand through his hair, and picked up his shoes, "I don't know how to make you understand. I've tried to stay cool and to be there for you... but if you're gonna blow this off, I am not going to watch!" he snatched his duffle and walked to the bedroom door.  
  
"Luke! Damn it!"  
  
"Change the God damn appointment, Lorelai!" he barked at her with a dark look. He held her eyes a moment then, before turning heel and leaving with a disgusted snort.  
  
Lorelai listened then in shock as he descended her stairs and slammed the front door behind him.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"I told you I don't want to talk about it!" she snapped.  
  
"Fine. Fine. Don't talk about it then," said Sookie placidly as she jabbed a thermometer into a half-baked turkey. "But perhaps you'd like to know that while you were hiding in your office this morning..."  
  
"I wasn't hiding, I was working!" Lorelai told her with her arms crossed in front of her.  
  
"Well, while you were _working_ this morning, Jackson came in to drop off the cantaloupe for the banquet... and I told him that they were too ripe, and he said 'that's not possible, Sookie' and I said, 'Oh, it's more than possible, Jackson, because'..."  
  
"Sookie?! Point, please?!"  
  
"Right, sorry. Well, Jackson said that Taylor saw Luke taking the trash out behind the diner this morning and then he went all ballistic and beat up the dumpster! Luke that is, not Taylor." She popped the turkey back in the oven.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Yep. Just kicked the hell out of it at six o'clock this morning," said Sookie with some animation, "So apparently someone else doesn't want to talk about it either... he'd rather kill some poor innocent trash receptacle instead."  
  
"Oh boy," moaned Lorelai and put her head into her hands.  
  
"Taylor's looking into ticketing him for attacking town property. He's always wanted to do a citizen's arrest," continued Sookie.

"Oh Jeez... I think I screwed up, Sookie," said Lorelai miserably.  
  
"Honey," Sookie commiserated and sat next to her. "I still don't quite understand what happened, but I do know that you need to make it right."  
  
"I know. I just... I don't know what to say..."  
  
"That's never been a problem for you in the past," Sookie reminded her.  
  
"True," Lorelai acknowledged and paused, "Hey, I met with Jackson for an hour this morning about the maze and he didn't say anything about this."  
  
"He's working on that secret-keeping thing," noddedd Sookie proudly.  
  
"Well, he picked a swell time to start that."  
  
"You've got to talk to Luke, Lorelai. Just tell him what's in your heart—that you're scared, that you don't want to lose him. You've got to do it. That man loves you Lorelai, he always has. He beat up a dumpster over you."  
  
"He beat up a car over Nicole," Lorelai mumbled sarcastically.  
  
"That was wounded pride, not love. Don't be a jack ass, Lorelai. He didn't do half the things for Nicole that he's done for you over the years, and he was married to her. I'm telling you, make this right. Don't screw this up."  
  
Lorelai sighed.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
She wondered fretfully among the rooms checking for the umpteenth time that all was as it should be before the first official guests arrived the next day. She straightened perfectly straight lampshades, and smoothed glass- like coverlets. She made sure all the window shades were exactly equi- distant from the sills. Eventually when the rooms could stand no further sprucing, she found herself in the Great Room, collapsed in a chair by the fireplace, eyes closed and heartsick.  
  
Heart-sick, she thought wryly: Funny. Only not, of course. When would things be normal again? What if this was normal now? she shuddered. When would people just see her again and not some awful thing that was hanging around her like Pigpen's cloud of dust? Would Luke always measure their life together against this... this whatever it was? She paused then: Oh crap, Lorelai. The future. He talked about the future. Luke wants a future. With me. And she sighed her millionth sigh that morning. Sookie's right, I am a jack ass.  
  
"Lorelai, how are you feeling?" she heard.  
  
She fluttered open her eyes then to focus on her father who was standing before her. Feeling like she'd been caught playing hooky for some inexplicable reason, she sat up straighter and smiled as brightly as she could, "Dad, I didn't know you were coming. And I'm feeling fine," she lied.  
  
"May I sit down?"  
  
"Oh... Oh sure... of course," she blustered.  
  
Richard sat in the chair opposite her, "You look pale, Lorelai."  
  
"Do I?" she asked inanely. "I don't feel pale."  
  
"Well, you look it. I was coming here to tell you about my plans for Paris, but perhaps I should postpone them until after your medical situation is resolved."  
  
"No, no, Dad, don't do that. I'm not even scheduled to go in for another week," she assured him.  
  
"That seems an unnecessary wait," Richard observed.  
  
"It's fine, Dad," she smiled. "So Paris, huh? Do you have a plan, Dad, or are you just going to show up in a suit of armor? Don't know how you'd get that through airport security though," she frowned, "You might have to wait to pick one up there. You'd probably get the best price in Europe, anyway."  
  
"I have no intention of wearing a suit of armor, Lorelai," he told her.  
  
"Good, because I imagine your size couldn't be found on the rack which, of course, means a custom job, and there might not be time for that—the forge is awfully backed up this time of year..."  
  
"Lorelai?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You're rambling."  
  
"Right," she nodded.  
  
"It's tedious when you do that."  
  
"Right, sorry."  
  
"My flight is scheduled to leave early this evening," he went on.  
  
"Have you told Mom that you're coming?"

"I thought a surprise would be the romantic way to do this. Rory called me this morning, so I know they are in Paris for a least a few more days. I'm stopping at Cartier on the way to the airport to pick something up for your mother," he told her proudly.  
  
"Well, I really hope that works out for you, Dad," Lorelai told him sincerely.  
  
"Thank you, Lorelai. And before you ask, I did not tell Rory anything about your situation."  
  
"I appreciate that, Dad."  
  
"But I suggest you do so. Prolonging these things only makes them worse in my experience."  
  
"I know, you're right," she admitted.  
  
"So, I'll be off then," he rose to leave.  
  
Lorelai stood as well and they walked in silence out to his car. Richard opened the door to get in when Lorelai stopped him by placing her hand on his forearm.  
  
"Thank you, Daddy," she smiled, blinking tears.  
  
Richard softened at once as he stared down at his only child, "Of course, Lorelai." He placed his hand over hers then and gave it a squeeze, "I'll call you with any developments," he assured her.  
  
"You better," she smiled.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Later that afternoon, Lorelai parked in front of the Gleason family home. Workers right and left were organizing tables-full of odd items into lots to be sold the next day right out of the front yard.  
  
She walked past a complete set of Holly Hobbie Bicentennial collector's plates, a dilapidated Barbie Malibu Camper (Leslie's?) and three crutches.  
  
She slipped into the house and looked about curiously, never having been there before. The place was in disarray, but Lorelai could clearly see the remains of the Polynesian decor. Great pineapple lamp, she observed as she looked about.  
  
"Kirk!" she called when she saw him hurrying by with a box of beer steins, "Where's Luke?"  
  
"Upstairs, but I'd steer clear if I were you," he warned her.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, he just threw snowshoes at my head."  
  
"Well, I'll 'think fast'!" responded Lorelai and headed up the stairs.  
  
She eventually found him in an attic storeroom putting an odd collection of alarm clocks into a box.  
  
"Hey," she tried glibly.  
  
He turned to look at her, sighed, put his hands on his hips and glared.  
  
"Okay..." she said. "That's quite a collection of alarm clocks there..." she said lamely.  
  
"What do you want, Lorelai?"  
  
"I want to fix this."  
  
"Well unless you changed that appointment then all the lingerie in the world isn't going to fix this," he told her.  
  
"Luke, I've just...." she looked at him directly then, "I'm just scared... and I was thinking about it all so much and trying to not think about it at the same time, and... Grrr! Why does this have to be so hard? ...We were going to be calm. We said we were going to be calm... And, oh by the way, I can do this by myself, you know! I can. I can do anything by myself," she told him defiantly.  
  
"I know you can, Lorelai," he told her quietly.  
  
She believed him, and more importantly, realized his belief in her.  
  
"It's just... I don't want to," she told him meaningfully, "I don't want to do it alone."  
  
They looked at each other over this until they were interrupted by her cell phone.  
  
"Damn," groused Lorelai as she retrieved the offending object from her pocket.  
  
—"Hello?  
  
—Mom, hey, didn't expect to hear from you...  
  
—I'm doing swell," laughed Lorelai ironically.  
  
—"What?  
  
—Well, sure I can find it in my heart to accept your apology, Mom," she looked at Luke in bewilderment.

—"Just a minute, please: Could you tell me your mother's maiden name so that I might confirm your identity?  
  
—No, you're right. That was in no way gracious. I apologize.  
  
---I agree, Rory is an adult now. And she's going to be fine.  
  
—I am proud of her.  
  
—Yes, Mom," she sighed "Luke. Yes, that Luke.  
  
—Yes, I did tell Rory that.  
  
—Because it's true, I do love him," she met his gaze on that.  
  
—I don't know... I can't remember exactly when we met, ten years anyway.  
  
—Yes, I agree that is a long time," she rolled her eyes.  
  
—No, he has not asked me to marry him," she shifted uncomfortably and looked away from him now.  
  
—I don't know why, he's probably heard that insanity runs in the family," she said in exasperation, "I don't really want to talk about this anymore.  
  
—Because it's none of your business, that's why!  
  
—Mom, I thought this was about you apologizing to me.  
  
—Yes, you did. You're right, you did. Okay, fine.  
  
—No, I don't want to talk with you about Luke.  
  
—All right, yes. Goodbye."  
  
Lorelai clicked off her phone.  
  
"Aaaugh!" she raged, "Only my mother could turn an apology into an inquisition about my love life. I will never ever win. And I'm sure she only made the apology because Rory was sitting right there listening to her do it... making her do it... It just burns me—... W-wait, what's happening?" she looked about in confusion.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Luke.  
  
"I need a drink of water," she said and turned abruptly and left the room. Luke processed that a moment then hurried behind her.  
  
Lorelai, two hands on the bannister, was descending the stairs quickly now.  
  
"Lorelai–?" said Luke in concern.  
  
"I'm fine," she called over her shoulder, "I'm just gonna get a drink. Hey, box-guy!" she called out to an estate sale worker at the foot of the stairs, "Ktichen?"  
  
He jerked a thumb over his left shoulder, and Lorelai headed in that direction.  
  
"Lorelai? Damn it!" Luke called out from behind her.  
  
"Just let me get a frickin' drink, Luke, and then you can yell at me all you want!" she snapped.  
  
In the kitchen now, she crossed over to the refrigerator and opened it up.  
  
It was a funny wiggly refrigerator, she observed in confusion, and then 'Oh damn'...  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
She felt clammy and cold, and sweaty. Her forehead hurt and she was still thirsty.  
  
She opened her eyes and looked up at the ugliest perforated drop-ceiling she'd ever seen in her life. She focused on that for minute, trying to determine if the little perforations were making any pictures when you squint... like a bunny or something. Nope they didn't.  
  
"Ooo! She's awake," she heard, "Doctor, she's awake!"  
  
"Sookie?" she asked.  
  
"I'm here, hun," said Sookie, her face now close by.  
  
"Where–?"  
  
"You're in the hospital. You passed out right onto Kirk's lettuce crisper. They brought you in an ambulance," she told her mistily.  
  
"Man, I missed it," groused Lorelai. "Sookie?"  
  
"What, sweetie?"  
  
"Did you remember to turn the oven off?"  
  
Sookie laughed a little, "I had to call Dereck after I got here to tell him to do it for me."

Lorelai frowned, "Aw, your turkey will be spoiled now. And why are there tubes coming out of my arms?"  
  
"They're just hydrating you."  
  
"Great, more water weight," grumbled Lorelai and then, "Is Luke here?"  
  
"Oh honey, he was great," enthused Sookie, "He's the one who called the paramedics—used your cell phone and everything, if you can believe it!"  
  
"Oh. Where is he?" Lorelai lifted her head and looked around, then winced when the action made her dizzy.  
  
"Lie down, sweetie, you need to rest."  
  
"Sookie!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Where's Luke?"  
  
"He's in the waiting room, Lorelai."  
  
"Oh, would you go ask him to come in?" she explored her forehead tenderly with her fingertips.  
  
Sookie was silent for a moment. Lorelai noticed.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"He won't come in here, Lorelai. He won't come any further than the nurses' station." said Sookie nervously.  
  
"But...?"  
  
"No, Lorelai. We've all tried. Jackson's out there guilting him about it now, but he refuses to come in."


	13. Chapter XIIIunlucky thirteen

"Okay..." said Lorelai shakily.  
  
She and Sookie both turned their heads then when the privacy curtain was pushed aside to admit Dr. Steiner.  
  
"Lorelai, I see that you're here a little sooner than we planned," she said as she flipped through the chart at the foot of the bed.  
  
"Hmm," reflected Lorelai, "Normally I would have something very witty and terribly droll to reply to that with, but frankly I feel too crappy to care right now. Can I get back to you, doctor?"  
  
"I'll look forward to it," smiled the doctor as she aimed her stethoscope at Lorelai's chest.  
  
"Still working?" asked Lorelai when Dr. Steiner finished and returned to the chart.  
  
"So far," she nodded, "Okay, I'm sending you in for an MRI first."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"A picture of your brain."  
  
"Oh man, they're going to slide me into one of those giant Easy Bake ovens, aren't they?" lamented Lorelai.  
  
"Claustrophobic?" smiled the doctor.  
  
"No!" she scoffed.  
  
"So you'll be wanting a Valium for this then?"  
  
"Yes, please!" she said gratefully.  
  
"All right, then. We'll do that as soon as I can get you upstairs. Then I'll take a look at your film and come back later to talk to you. Ho does that sound?"  
  
"Like I'm going to have to eat jell-O products before this day is over."  
  
"I'd say that's a sure-money bet," smiled the doctor again on her way out.  
  
She and Sookie were quiet a long minute then. Lorelai thought maybe one grouping of the ceiling perforations looked a bit like a three-legged cow, but then again, maybe not.  
  
"Does he give any reason for not coming in?" she finally asked softly.  
  
"Not yet," said Sookie sadly. They pondered that in silence together a moment, before Sookie interrupted them, "Okay, I better go out there and update everybody now."  
  
"Jeez, who all's out there?"  
  
"Luke, Jackson, Michel, Kirk, Lulu and Babette so far."  
  
"Oh man..." sighed Lorelai.  
  
"They're just worried about you, honey."  
  
"I know," Lorelai nodded (bad idea–dizzy again now) "Go on out there and tell them there will be absolute proof that I do have a brain by day's end, and then I want you to send all of them home. After that I want you and Jackson to go home too and retrieve your son from Tobin. I won't be getting out of here anytime soon."  
  
"But..."  
  
"Go on, Sookie. I'll call you in the morning."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Later that night she pushed her compartmentalized tray of colorful mushy stuff aside in disgust and pouted. She glanced at the empty perfectly made bed next to her own and sighed. Then she picked up the remote and flipped through three basketball games, one home shopping show (polyester pants-- ugh!) and a documentary about bees. She settled grumpily on the last, figuring she could at least impress Rory sometime.  
  
"Knock, knock, Sugar, "she heard at the nearly shut door.  
  
"Babette? Come in! Come in! I have never been so happy to see anyone in my life!" she smiled at her kind neighbor.  
  
"I was afraid you might be sleepin'" Babette said and looked around the room, "Hey, nice--- you got a TV. No roommate though, huh?"  
  
"No. So how's the world out there?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"It's the same, still spinnin'" laughed Babette as she sat in a chair next to her, "So how are you doing, doll, for real? Is it something serious?" she asked in concern.  
  
"Well, the MRI was clear which is good. Tomorrow they'll do a bunch of other torturous stuff to me, so hopefully we'll know something then."  
  
Babette nodded and swiped at a tear.

"Oh hey, Babette," soothed Lorelai gently, "It's going to be all right."  
  
"I just hate seeing a young kid like you in this situation," she sniffed. "Oh don't pay no attention to me," she waved herself off, "Listen, I got the key out of the pig's snout and brought you some stuff from home," she said and handed Lorelai a paper bag.  
  
Lorelai peered into it and smiled, "Oh this is great, Babette, thank you."  
  
"Oh sure, honey, I know how it is. A lady likes to have her own underwear nearby at all times. Not to mention other certain unmentionables."  
  
"Amen, sister-friend!" crowed Lorelai happily, "Ooo! And you brought me nice fresh new magazines, too! Babette, you are my hero!"  
  
"Don't mention it, honey. Glad I could do it. I can see that Luke isn't going to leave this hospital any time soon to do it for you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, he's still down there in that waiting room, sitting like the rock a'Gibralter or somethin'. Same as he was seven hours ago," she added conversationally. "Man that guy's got it bad for you. What none of us can understand is why he won't get off his ass and come up here to see you, though. Everyone's been bothering him about it, too: 'Get your ass up there and see Lorelai, she needs you, we all tell him.'"  
  
"And what does he say?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"Oh you know Luke: 'Leave me the hell alone'; 'None of your damn business'; 'Buzz off'; or, 'Kirk, I swear to God I will slug you in the face if you speak to me again'. Depends on who's bothering him at the time."  
  
"Right," nodded Lorelai.  
  
"If you ask me, I think he's scared," said Babette finally.  
  
Lorelai paused a moment, fingering the handles of the paper bag.  
  
"I'll tell you a secret, Babette," she said blinking now.  
  
"What is it, Sugar?"  
  
"I'm scared too."  
  
"Oh honey, come here," and Babette hiked her short self up onto the high hospital bed and gathered Lorelai up in her arms. "There, there, you have a good cry, Sweetie. You'll feel better, I promise. My mother used to say that tears were God's medicine. Isn't that nice?"  
  
Lorelai sobbed and smiled and nodded all at the same time.  
  
And later, after Babette had gone, and she had magazine slutted herself into fretful boredom (looking at pictures only, not bothering with articles,) she clicked off the _Daily Show_ (re-run anyway,) and finally picked up the damn phone and dialed. She chewed her thumb as she waited for an answer.  
  
"Rory? Hi honey, I couldn't remember what time it was there. I didn't wake you did I?  
  
---Oh good. Did your Grandpa get in okay?  
  
—Good, good.  
  
—I miss you too... Listen honey, I need to talk to you about something....  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Something like a big bug was bothering her. _Jeez_, she swatted. _Leave me alone_, she sent psychic vibrations, and then "Ouch," out loud.  
  
"Sorry, honey," she heard.  
  
She squeezed her eyes open, "Who are you?" she asked the stranger peering down at her.  
  
"I'm Tanika," smiled the nurse, "But most people call me The Vampire Lady because I do the four a.m blood draws."  
  
"Jeez, who did you piss off to get that job?" asked Lorelai.  
  
Tanika laughed, "Oh honey, never ask a Black woman that."  
  
"Right," nodded Lorelai,  
  
"Sorry I woke you."  
  
"No big deal. Hey, Tanika, would it be all right if I got up and stretched my legs a little? I promise to be good and wear my robe."  
  
"Sure, let me just unhook your IV. You have to promise to be back in twenty minutes though. I'll be finished with rounds then and can re-hook you up."  
  
"I promise," said Lorelai, "And I promise not to tell Buffy about you either," she joked lamely. "Heard that one once or twice before, huh?" she added when she saw Tanika's impassive reaction.  
  
"Ummhmm."  
  
"Wow. Tough crowd after midnight."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
She approached the waiting room quietly and peeked around the corner when she got there.  
  
All was pretty still at four a.m., but there he was—sound asleep sitting up in one of those miserable plastic chairs, arms crossed, chin on his chest.  
  
Even from the other side of the room, she could see the dark circles under his eyes. The empty tea cups strewn across the table before him told their own story about the compulsively cleaning Diner Man she knew.  
  
She sighed then, unbearably sad, and turned to go back to her room.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
The next morning started with an electro-cardiogram (no big deal.)  
  
More drilling for various fluids then (slightly painful, a little embarrassing and messy.)  
  
A muscle reflex test in which needles attached to wires inserted in various muscles and then zapped at twitching frequency (totally medieval, though she remained proudly stoic through out)  
  
And culminating with the dramatic Tilt Table Test (...designed originally for astronauts, she learned, in order to simulate the effects of a no- gravity environment on the body, during which one is strapped flat to a table, given more than slightly sinister drugs and are then tilted at various degrees–head up, she was relieved to find out–incrementally, until the magic 70 degree angle is hit, thereby causing the most stress on the heart possible. Her's subsequently stopped cold within seconds of hitting that angle. The medical team pounded it back into starting again and if Lorelai had been conscious for this, well alive actually, she would have appreciated the televisional aspect of the drama in which she got to play the femme fatale—hee, femme fatale.)  
  
The neuro-cardiologist actually seemed very happy with the unusual occurrence of a heart stoppage in his lab.  
  
"Most people just faint or throw up," he told her with a broad grin when she was aware again, "You're a star performer."  
  
"Great," she mumbled. "Wait a minute—am I supposed to say 'Good for me! My heart stopped?'" asked Lorelai wide-eyed at this information.  
  
"Well, it's a pretty rare result, so I'm excited," he told her and left the nurse to remove her IV so he could hurry off to share his exciting findings with his colleagues.  
  
"Research hospitals," scoffed the nurse, "he's probably writing an article for the journals about you right now."  
  
"Fame at last," said Lorelai drily.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Hey Keith," she said to the nurse when they wheeled her back into her room.  
  
"Hey Lorelai, how'd it go?" he asked as he helped her back onto the bed.  
  
"Meh...my heart stopped," she said nonchalantly.  
  
"Wow, good show," noted Keith, "Did you see in any white lights?"  
  
"No, damn it," she frowned, "So do you think the drama of this is going to hit me later?"  
  
"Yeah, I totally predict a delayed reaction all right," he nodded, "But meanwhile, guess what?" he smiled.  
  
"No, it isn't!" she howled.  
  
"Yes, it is!" he assured her.  
  
"Chocolate pudding night! Hooray! Worth coming back to life for, every time!"  
  
"I'll try to get you seconds," he winked.  
  
"I love you, Keith!" she hollered after him down the hall.  
  
"Lorelai Gilmore! What are you yelling? And to whom are you yelling it?"  
  
"Jeez, Mom, don't scare a lady with a heart condition like that!" she said as her Mother, Father and Rory burst into the room.  
  
"Rory!" she yelled in delight at her daughter.  
  
"Mom!" yelled Rory as she jumped on the bed to share a hug.  
  
"Heart condition? What does she mean, heart condition? Richard, what does she mean by that?" demanded Emily.  
  
"Mom, what is going on? Tell us now," Rory added her concern more gently.  
  
"You guys didn't have to fly back," Lorelai told them all.  
  
"Well, of course we flew back, you're in the hospital," snapped Emily.  
  
"Right. Silly me," she nodded. "Dad, I'm sorry about the suit of armor," she looked up at her father.  
  
"Don't worry about it, Lorelai."  
  
"Lorelai! Richard! When is someone going to give me some real information around here?" Emily was beyond frustration now.  
  
"I believe I am the one for that job..." interrupted Dr. Steiner as she entered the room.


	14. Chapter XIV

"Neuro-what? Cardio-who? Vaso-what?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"You used that last one already," Rory pointed out to her.  
  
"Well, what would you have suggested in it's place?"  
  
"Why," Rory replied.  
  
"Vaso-why? does not make sense," Lorelai shook her head.  
  
"And Cardio-who? does?"  
  
"All right, good point there," acknowledged Lorelai in defeat.  
  
"Lorelai! Rory! For heaven's sake, would you let the woman explain herself before I have to be admitted myself?" barked Emily.  
  
"Oh but Mom, the mental institution is on the other side of town," quipped Lorelai.  
  
"Your mother's right, Lorelai. Dr. Steiner does not need you wasting her time like this," Richard interceded.  
  
"Sorry," said Lorelai.  
  
Dr. Steiner smiled, "Okay, let me lay this out for you..."  
  
"Hold on!" said Rory as she reached for her bag and pulled out a notebook and pen.  
  
"You're going to take notes at my diagnosis?" smiled Lorelai.  
  
"Of course, that way I can do follow-up research on treatments and research studies... Oh! no offense, Dr. Steiner."  
  
"None taken," laughed the doctor, "Good to know you've got my back. Anyway, you may have heard of Vasovagal Syncope before?"  
  
They all shook their heads 'no'.  
  
"It's not terribly common. It's a condition whereby the heart slows down for some unknown reason, usually caused by postural change or exertion, sometimes stress, and causes a person to faint."  
  
"Okay," nodded Rory scribbling furiously.  
  
"That is part of your problem, Lorelai." "Stick-out ears being the other," she mumbled.  
  
"What causes it?"asked Rory.  
  
"We don't know, but it is a congenital thing. Sometimes it shows up and sometimes it doesn't. Have you ever had trouble with physical exercise at any point in your life?" asked Dr. Steiner.  
  
Lorelai mulled a moment.  
  
"She got terrible grades in PE," chimed in Emily. "She was always the last one in when they ran the mile in class. We were very concerned about its' affect on her GPA at the time. I thought she was just lazy."  
  
"Painful flashback now," frowned Lorelai.  
  
"There is also a second part to your condition, Lorelai. It can be called a couple of different things: 'Cardio-inhibitory reflex' is one; and 'Neurally Mediated Hypotension' is another."  
  
"Won't it just answer to Fred?"  
  
"No, I'm afraid not," smiled the doctor. "In this condition, you get a sudden unexplained drop in blood pressure, which can also cause fainting, among other things; like fatigue, muscle pain, feeling cold, mental confusion, and clumsiness. Stress can also affect this condition. You can go years and not really be aware of feeling badly at all or, in some sad cases I've seen, you could be bed-ridden and weak for long periods of time."  
  
"Yikes!"  
  
"The combination of both these conditions is pretty unusual, and very exciting for Dr. Sherman, I might add," laughed Dr. Steiner, "He wants to get your permission to write a journal article about it, I think."  
  
"Ooo! Will he put my picture in it?"  
  
"You'll have to talk to him about that. One of the things that we know helps these conditions is very mild exercise. The fact that you are an energetic and busy woman has probably been helping you ward it off until this point in your life."  
  
"Why wasn't I informed of this when she was born?" asked Emily, "I had the finest doctors in Hartford!"  
  
"It's extremely difficult to diagnose. Low blood pressure is an indicator, but not conclusive. We could only really know for sure by administering the Tilt Table test Lorelai had yesterday. And it's a fairly recent, though sort of barbaric, way of finding out."  
  
"What is the worst scenario?" asked Richard, "Is this life threatening?"  
  
"Probably not," acknowledged the doctor, "We have medications that we feel will prevent the heart from stopping completely, and medications to raise blood pressure. There are a few simple lifestyle changes to make: Rest, adding salt to the diet, not exerting the heart excessively, trying not to bend over too much to prevent dizziness, plenty of fluids. We have pretty good success treating the cause of the problem, but not such great success with the symptoms unfortunately. You may very well have to combat those for your lifetime."  
  
"Wow... Okay," said Lorelai in some dismay.  
  
"I usually recommend that my patients seek some kind of therapy as well. It can be difficult to adjust to becoming a chronically ill person."  
  
They all looked at Lorelai sadly then.  
  
"Stop it! You're freaking me out."  
  
"That said," the doctor smiled and went on, "We are fortunate to have ways to cope with this. You're lucky you weren't born a Victorian, Loralai."  
  
"Oh, I know," nodded Lorelai, "'Cause my ass is really my best feature and... well... with the bustles and all...Um... okay, never mind," she finished lamely at their raised eyebrows.  
  
"Lorelai, be serious!" said Emily, then turned back to the doctor, "No one in my family had anything like this!"  
  
"Perhaps not, but Lorelai has it now," said the doctor simply. "Okay, we'll start you on the drugs, and send you home in the morning. I want two weeks of serious rest from you, and then we'll see you back here for another Tilt Table test."  
  
Lorelai groaned at that.  
  
"It's the only way to know if the medication is working or not. We want to keep your heart beating all the way through the test. That is our goal."  
  
"And if it doesn't?" asked Richard grimly.  
  
"Well, I'm sure it will. But if not there are other more severe options."  
  
"Like what?" Rory paused in her scribbling.  
  
"Well, a pacemaker for one. But I'm sure it won't come to that," added the doctor hastily.  
  
"Okay, I'm stopping with the defensive humor now: I have a few questions," declared Lorelai. "Fire away."  
  
"Will I be able to run my Inn?"  
  
"Yes, you should be able to, provided you allow yourself rest and take your medication. I suggest you have a good right-hand person though, because there may be days, or weeks even, when you won't feel up to it."  
  
Lorelai nodded then looked to her family, "Um... Hey guys? Could you give me a few minutes alone with the doctor now, please?"  
  
"I don't think that's such a good..."started Emily.  
  
"Of course, Lorelai. Many patients like to ask questions privately," answered the doctor pointedly.  
  
Emily, Richard and Rory shuffled out reluctantly then and shut the door behind them.  
  
"Okay, Barbara," Lorelai leaned in. "Am I going to need some kind of... help... further down the road?... I mean like a nurse or something, because I need to make provisions for that now. I don't want my daughter feeling like she has to stick around..."  
  
"Lorelai, I don't foresee that as a permanent long-term need. There may very well be short periods of time when you might need some help, though. This thing tends to go up and down unexpectedly. It's really not possible to know right now for sure. I'm sorry."  
  
"Okay." Lorelai digested that, then lifted her head to meet the doctor's gaze, "Will I be able to have another baby if I want one?"  
  
The doctor shifted her eyes and paused, "I'll be honest with you, I wouldn't suggest it. You would have to go off the medication during pregnancy and nursing. It would be considered a high-risk situation for you, and you would require close monitoring, especially at your age." Lorelai winced at that. "That said though, the risk is quite low for the baby, and I did have one patient who delivered without out much incident. But your blood pressure does tend to go down during pregnancy, which is not good for you. It would be your decision though, of course."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
She awoke with a start. She'd been dreaming about Luke. She caught her breath, the missing of him so strong within her in that moment. She put her hand over her eyes...  
  
"Lorelai?" she heard.  
  
"Mom?" she turned to look at Emily who was seated quietly next to the bed. "You should go home, I'm sure you have jet lag." "We will later." Emily looked at her daughter a long while. "You look pale. How are you feeling?"  
  
"Like I want to get out of here and have a cheeseburger."  
  
"I don't know how you escaped conventional heart disease with your diet. Leave it to you to have something strange and unexplainable."  
  
"Guess I'm lucky," smiled Lorelai in irony. "I guess if I'm going to have to feel crappy off and on for the rest of my life, God thought she'd a least give me the comfort of cheeseburgers."  
  
Emily smiled thinly at that, "Can I get you something?"  
  
"Did the doctor say I couldn't have coffee?"  
  
"No, she just said more fluids and salt."  
  
"Salt wouldn't be very good in coffee."  
  
"I'll go see if I can find you some coffee," said Emily, "without salt."  
  
As she stood to leave, Lorelai stopped her at the door, "Mom?"  
  
"Yes, Lorelai?"  
  
"Thank you for coming home."  
  
"You're welcome, Lorelai." smiled Emily.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
A moment later Rory tiptoed into the room quietly.  
  
"Hey, kid!"  
  
"Oh, I thought you were still asleep," smiled Rory.  
  
"That got too boring," said Lorelai, and sat up, "Come here!"  
  
Rory climbed up on the bed with her mother and they wrapped their arms around each other and lay back.  
  
"Did you get some dinner?"  
  
"Yeah, Grandpa took me to the cafeteria." "Good. What else did you do?"  
  
"Well, I found Luke in the waiting room," said Rory and turned to look at her mother.  
  
"Oh," said Lorelai noncommitally.  
  
"How long has he been down there, Mom?"  
  
Lorelai sighed, "Apparently since the beginning of this melodrama. I'd hoped he'd gone home by now," she paused a moment, then "Did he talk to you?"  
  
"Mostly I talked to him," stated Rory.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"He looked liked hell."  
  
Lorelai nodded, "What did you talk about?"  
  
"I took my notes out and updated him on your diagnosis."  
  
"That's good. What did he say?"  
  
"He wiped his eyes and went to get some tea."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Mom?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Has he been up here to see you at all?" asked Rory.  
  
"No."  
  
"I see."  
  
They paused here.  
  
"I guess...he just can't," Lorelai tried to explain.  
  
"Because of his mother?"  
  
"I don't know, Freud."  
  
"You still love him, though, right?"  
  
"All right, Rory," declared Emily as she and Richard re-entered the room, "We need to let your mother rest now. We'll stay in Hartford tonight and come get your mother first thing. Here's your coffee, Lorelai, and a bag of pretzels—it was the best I could do, I'm afraid."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::  
  
She was already awake when Tanika came on her four a.m. rounds this time.  
  
"Hey Lorelai, do you want to do another walk-about after I take some blood?"  
  
"Yes, please."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::  
  
It was hard to press down the trepidation she was feeling as she approached the waiting room this time. She really didn't really know what she wanted to see, but she knew she had to check.  
  
He was there, standing at the window this time looking out on a courtyard which featured a lit fountain. She went to stand at his side.  
  
"Do they really think a fountain in a courtyard is going to make people feel better about being in this place?" he asked, his eyes still focused on the spraying water.  
  
"I don't know," replied Lorelai, gazing at the frolicking water nymphs made of stone.  
  
They stood and stared in silence then.  
  
"I..." he began, unable to look at her.  
  
"Don't..." she said trying to hold it together, "Let's just watch the water now. It's four a.m. I just want to stand here right now. And then I'm going to go back to my room and you are going to go home."  
  
"All right," he said. 


	15. Chapter XV

They watched the fountain in silence for a few more minutes before Lorelai turned to look at Luke, "Well, it's late," she told him. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Luke." And when he didn't respond or even meet her gaze, she walked away from him.  
  
"Lorelai," he turned to her and called hoarsely.  
  
She paused and looked at him again, "Yes?"  
  
"I..."  
  
She waited, her brows uplifted, a sort of quiet within her.  
  
"I... don't know if I can... if this... Maybe I'm not really cut out for this, after all," he told her and looked down.  
  
"Bullshit," she told him.  
  
He lifted his eyes at that.  
  
"I'm going to bed now, Luke," she said and turned and walked back to her room.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
The next morning was all about the packing, the getting dressed, the waiting for prescriptions, and all the general suckiness of hospital bureaucracy. But finally all four Gilmores were on their way to Stars' Hollow.  
  
They rode in silence, each lost in their own thoughts until, at last, the car rounded the turn before the house. Lorelai gasped in happiness then, when she saw her friends and neighbors waiting for her in the front yard with balloons and flowers, and a picnic table set up toward the back.  
  
"You totally knew about this, didn't you?" she grinned at Rory as they got out of the car.  
  
"You ain't got nothin' on me, Copper!"  
  
"Lorelai, we can't have a party, you need to rest," fretted Emily.  
  
"Oh Mom, I've had so much rest! I'll just sit on the porch for awhile," Lorelai dismissed her as she hugged Babette.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Okay, Michel, thank you. That's great. I'll speak to you in the morning, then," said Lorelai and clicked off the phone later that day.  
  
"Mom?" said Rory as she poked her head into Lorelai's room where she lay on her bed.  
  
"Hey, sweets!"  
  
"Grandma and Grandpa are getting ready to leave, they want to come say goodbye."  
  
"Oh sure. Show them in, Jeeves."  
  
"Don't be a bore, Bertie," replied Rory as she opened the door wider to admit Emily and Richard.  
  
"Well, Lorelai, I sent that Kirk man out for some groceries, your refrigerator is completely empty," Emily began. "For some strange reason, he seemed to think he knew what you would need."  
  
"Odd fellow," observed Richard.  
  
Lorelai and Rory grinned at each other. "He works at the market, Mom. He's been ringing up our groceries for years."  
  
"But, I thought he had a dog walking business," Emily puzzled.  
  
"No, no, Emily, he's just inherited a large sum from his mother's estate. His sister told me all about it at the wake," Richard informed her.  
  
"Why were you talking to Kirk's sister at his mother's wake?" Emily asked him, "And why were you at Kirk's mother's wake?"  
  
"I was visiting Lorelai, and it seemed appropriate to pay my respects," Richard told her haughtily.  
  
"I didn't think Kirk had a sister," frowned Rory, "I thought he had eleven bro–..."  
  
"Leslie," Lorelai told her with a twinkle in her eye.  
  
"Oh," nodded Rory happily, "I was wondering who that was."  
  
"You mean that tall woman who sang 'The Man Who Got Away' at the picnic downstairs just now?" asked a shocked Emily.  
  
"She is an entertainer, at a club," Richard said, self-important with the inside track.  
  
"You have been hanging around with chorus girls while I was in Europe?!" barked Emily.  
  
"Mom, Leslie's not..." tried Lorelai.  
  
"Stay out of this, Lorelai. This is between your father and I," Emily snapped at her. "Yes, ma'am."  
  
"I'll have you know that Leslie is not a chorus girl, Emily, she is the headliner." Richard informed her.  
  
"Well, well... Richard Gilmore, I don't know what to think," said Emily with pause.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::  
  
Moments later Rory came back into Lorelai's room.  
  
"Ok, that's Grandma and Grandpa gone, Babette and Maury got the yard all cleaned up, and Kirk's just dropped off enough stuff to fortify the Maginot Line. I am highly disturbed, by the way, that he knows what kind of deodorant I use, and what brand of tampons you..."  
  
"Stop!" commanded Lorelai, "Before I go blind or my head explodes."  
  
"Right," understood Rory.  
  
"Come here, Kid, and sit down," Lorelai invited, "We haven't really talked in a long time."  
  
Rory climbed up on the bed obligingly.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Rory asked her.  
  
"Like I really want to go to work."  
  
"Michel had everything under control?"  
  
"Yes," sighed Lorelai.  
  
"And Sookie hasn't left the oven on?"  
  
"No," she added glumly.  
  
"Well, that's good."  
  
"Yes, it is."  
  
They sat quietly for a moment then.  
  
"So, I am planning on doing some research tonight about Fred," Rory told her.  
  
"I'm still not sure that Fred is the best name..." said Lorelai thoughtfully.  
  
"Does it really matter what anthropomorphic moniker you give a medical condition?"  
  
"Well, duh, of course it does," said Lorelai dismissively. "But I can't come up with anything better right now."  
  
"Fred it is then."  
  
"But then he'll get all used to being called Fred, and then I might change my mind, and then poor Fred will be..."  
  
"Fred it is then," repeated Rory pointedly.  
  
"Right." agreed Lorelai reluctantly. "So..." she smiled at her daughter, "Let's leave the wonderful world of Me right now, and talk about the wonderful world of You."  
  
"Nothing to tell, really," shrugged Rory and looked away.  
  
"Oh honey," said Lorelai in sympathy. "Why don't you just telling me what you're feeling right now."  
  
"I'm scared," Rory admitted and looked at her mother again.  
  
"What about?"  
  
"About you being sick... about who I am now... and where I'm going... that you and Luke have lost each other... that I've hurt so many people... take your pick. I'm sure I could come up with more."  
  
Lorelai nodded and put her arm around her daughter. "Yeah, all that stuff sucks all right."  
  
They snuggled for a bit.  
  
"So let's break it down," Lorelai continued. "As far as me being sick; Well, I'll just figure that out---I always do. I'm alive, I'm going to live a long time. I am just as fascinated and as fascinating as I ever was, and I have you, so my life will be good no matter what. And as far as where you are going; I know it doesn't seem possible now, but your journey is just beginning, and you will be happy again. You will, Rory. You'll find work that you love and people, and you'll grow, and you'll maybe even understand all this some day. And as far as hurting people... Take it from an expert: Forgiveness and crap, and the sorrow over it all, and regret, and being sorry too—they're like this tangled knot that never really gets untied. It's just always there in this stupid undoable knot, joined together. And you just learn to live with it, and, ideally, learn from it too—Can't speak from much experience on that one, though. But the one thing that is sure is that at the end of your life there are going to be a whole bunch more of those knots lying around."  
  
"That's depressing." "It doesn't have to be," noted Lorelai. "Because there's lots of good stuff along the way too. In fact, much more good stuff than knots."  
  
Lorelai watched Rory as she turned that over in her mind.  
  
"Dean will survive, Rory. You will survive, and Lindsay will survive too. And eventually you'll all be happy again."  
  
"What about you and Luke?"  
  
"I don't know. He's got some stuff to work out, that's for sure."  
  
"But you love each other."  
  
"Yes, we do," Lorelai acknowledged.  
  
"So you should be together," Rory told her simply.  
  
"Oh Rory, that knot may just be too big..."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Her body was aching in rebellion. No one's meant to stay in bed so long, she groaned. She looked at the clock then, it was already nine thirty, the room flooded with morning light and the damn birds were singing outside the window. And there was no coffee anywhere in sight.  
  
She sighed and got up and eventually scuffled to the staircase.  
  
"Why can't they just decide on one name for the illness?" she heard Lane ask.  
  
"Well, Lorelai likes Fred, but I've been using Neurocardiogenic Syncope for short—but even that doesn't capture everything that's going on." Rory told her.  
  
"So it really says she shouldn't go on roller coasters?"  
  
"Yeah and, get this: One researcher attributes this biological phenomenon to a necessary element of early primordial life..a hold-over that some people still possess in their genetic make-up...."  
  
"Don't let Mrs. Kim hear that or your head will burst into flames," Lane told her.  
  
"He thinks it was a way for the body to slow down when we partially lived underwater—kind of like hibernating..." Rory continued.  
  
"Are you saying that I failed to evolve?!" Lorelai called out from the foot of the stairs.  
  
"Precisely. Now go back to bed," Rory told her from her laptop on the couch.  
  
"It's boooorrring!" Lorelai whined and then, "Hey, Lane."  
  
"Lorelai, sorry I had to leave early yesterday... Oh, I brought you some coffee from the diner—I'm on a long break," she explained and handed the to- go cup over.  
  
"Oh, thank you True Prodigal Daughter!" Lorelai grinned and sipped as she collapsed onto the couch next to Rory.  
  
"Hey, you and Fred, go to back to bed!" Rory commanded without looking up from her computer.  
  
"Five more minutes, Mom, please."  
  
"Only five."  
  
"So Lane," Lorelai turned to the young woman, "What's the haps?"  
  
"Well, I'm a little bummed that I missed Leslie's song yesterday," she admitted.  
  
"Oh he was amazing," Lorelai glowed at the memory. "Hey, you guys, maybe sometime we could go in and catch his act!"  
  
"Oh that would be so cool!" said Lane. "Okay. I've got to get back to the diner. So you let me know, Rory, okay?"  
  
"Know what?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"We've got a part-time opening at the diner."  
  
"Who quit?"  
  
"Chuck."  
  
"Chuck? How come?"  
  
"Politics," sighed Lane.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Well, that was a long time coming," nodded Lorelai sagely.  
  
"Plus he got full-time at the bowling alley," added Lane.  
  
"Well, when your dream comes to fruition you must move on."  
  
"True," acknowledged Lane.  
  
"So, Rory, I thought you were going to talk to Mary White about that fact- checker position at the Gazette?"  
  
"I talked to her this morning and I got it," said Rory still intent on her laptop. "But, if Luke will have me, and you don't mind, I'll work at the diner too. I need the money."  
  
"Why would I mind?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"Well, number one; It's Luke. And, number two; Who will take care of you?"  
  
"Oh, Fred and I will be fine, and don't worry about Luke," Lorelai told her.  
  
"Are you sure?" Rory looked up.  
  
"Yes. Take the job. I imagine Emily is gonna milk the Florence Nightingale thing for all its worth, anyway."  
  
"Okay. Lane, when do I start?"  
  
"Tomorrow! This will be so much fun!" enthused Lane.  
  
"Yeah, I can teach you both diner-talk!" added Lorelai happily, "Or not," she said at their responding grumpy looks.  
  
"Don't worry, Lane, it says right here on MedicalBoards.com that periodic insanity is to be expected," Rory soothed.  
  
"It does not!" huffed Lorelai.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Lorelai?" She heard her mother's voice calling from downstairs. "Lorelai, why are you home alone? Where's Rory?" asked Emily as she entered Lorelai's bedroom.  
  
"Oh hi, Mom," she looked up from her book. "I sent her to the diner with Lane for a little while. I wanted her to take a break."  
  
"All right, I guess that's fine now that I'm here," Emily decided.  
  
"Mom, I don't need to be watched," Lorelai smiled.  
  
"Well, why don't we just sit quietly together for awhile, then? I brought a book, we can both read," Emily suggested.  
  
"All right," tried Lorelai with a smile as she watched her mother settle into a chair next to the bed.  
  
"Can I get you anything downstairs first?"  
  
"No, I'm good," Lorelai told her.  
  
"So, Lorelai, what are you reading?"  
  
"Well, Rory thought since I'm having the Jane Austen people at the Inn that I should read all the novels, so I'm tackling 'Persuasion'."  
  
"Oh, that's nice," replied Emily as she reached into her bag to her to retrieve her own book.  
  
Lorelai dropped her jaw and stared as Emily opened the book to a previously marked place.  
  
"Mom... W-what are you reading?" asked Lorelai, her gaze intent on the now- battered, over-sized, white-fronted paperback  
  
"Something of you father's," shrugged Emily, "I found it when I was unpacking his suitcase. Apparently there are audio tapes that go with it as well. It's some sort of silly advice book, but there's something about it..." she mused.  
  
"What? What about it?" demanded Lorelai eagerly.  
  
"I can't put my finger on it exactly..."  
  
Lorelai groaned.  
  
"Lorelai, are you all right?" asked Emily in concern.  
  
"It's just... the bed, I guess. I'm getting a little achy lying here so much..."  
  
Emily hopped to her feet. "When was the last time you got a new mattress, Lorelai?"  
  
"Um..."  
  
"Have you been flipping it regularly? Because you need to flip a mattress regularly for it to last. You really should invest in a better mattress... And your sheets..."  
  
"What's wrong with them?"

"Well, aside from the fact that they have little coffee pots all over them, they are clearly of inferior thread count."  
  
"Mom..."  
  
"That's it," decided Emily, "I am going downtown. Are you expecting Rory soon?"  
  
"Any minute. And why are you going downtown?" asked Lorelai, fearing the answer.  
  
"To order you a new mattress of course, and sheets..."  
  
"Mom..." started Lorelai.  
  
"Lorelai, you're going to need better things. You're going to be spending much more time in bed now. Please let me do this. I want you to be more comfortable."  
  
Lorelai sighed a moment, "All right, Mom. Sure."  
  
"Really?" asked Emily happily.  
  
"Yes, just don't go overboard," Lorelai cautioned.  
  
"I won't," Emily promised.  
  
Lorelai threw her covers back and set her feet on the floor.  
  
"Where are you going?" asked her mother.  
  
"I'm going to walk you out. I really need a little fresh air."  
  
"Lorelai...I don't think..."  
  
"Come on, Mom. Please let me do this," teased Lorelai.  
  
And it was Emily's turn to give in with a sigh.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"...I think at least four to five hundred count would be best," continued Emily authoritatively.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, fine. Whatever. I just don't want sheets that have to be dry cleaned."  
  
They were on the front porch now.  
  
"All right. I will be back later. We can have dinner. I'll call your father to see what his schedule is."  
  
"So, where are you staying these days, Mom?" asked Lorelai as she leaned against the door jamb.  
  
Emily looked at Lorelai, "I am back home for now," she said.  
  
"I see," grinned Lorelai.  
  
"Don't read too much into it."  
  
"I won't," Lorelai shook her head.  
  
"I haven't made any final decision yet."  
  
"Right."  
  
"I just don't want you looking at me like the cat who got all the cream."  
  
"Okay, no cream for me."  
  
"Lorelai!"  
  
"You better get going, Mom, all the best thread counts will be gone."  
  
Emily smiled at her, "I'll see you later, Lorelai."  
  
"'Bye, Mom."  
  
She watched her mother walk out to her car then and wondered what had overcome her that she was allowing Emily Gilmore to go out and shop for her. She sighed then and walked to the top step and sat down on it, as her head began to spin a little. She put it grumpily down, forehead to knees for a bit and breathed deeply. Man, this sucks, she thought.  
  
"Are you okay?" she heard.  
  
She lifted her head slowly and focused on the fact that Luke was standing before her. She noticed that his beard was thicker than usual and that his hair was askew.  
  
"Where's your baseball cap?" she asked.  
  
He shrugged, "Forgot to put it on, I guess."  
  
"So, where have you come from?"  
  
"I was parked across the street," he told her. She peered around him and indeed saw the telltale green truck parked across the road.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know. I was just sitting there. I had this feeling..." he began, thrusting his hands into his pockets.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"...And then I saw your Mom leave and you sit down..."  
  
"Right."  
  
They paused a moment, and Lorelai knew that he wanted nothing more than the opening of the door between them, and that she had to be the one to open it, if it were to be opened at all. And suddenly she knew that, more than anything, she really wanted that door opened too.  
  
"Come sit by me, Luke," she patted the step next to her.  
  
He looked at her a long moment before gratefully obliging her. He sat with a sigh and raked his hands over his face.  
  
"You look tired," she noted in some sympathy.  
  
He nodded, "Can't sleep. How are you?"  
  
"Um, I'm a little dizzy right now. Do you mind if I put my head back down while I talk?"  
  
"Should I carry you in or something?" he asked in some alarm.  
  
"God, no," laughed Lorelai as she put her forehead to her knees again. "This damn medicine. I can't tell if it's helping," she went on.  
  
"Well, the doctor said it might not help much with the symptoms. Something I don't understand very much, by the way," he commented, remembering Rory's briefing.  
  
"I know! Thank you very much! Who gives a flying fuck about the cause if you can't get rid of the stupid symptoms?" Lorelai asked in irritation.  
  
They sat in silence for a bit.  
  
"I never got to say thank you to you, for getting me to the hospital and all," she said then from her knees.  
  
"I haven't given you the chance to thank me," noted Luke in self-disgust. "I know it had to be pretty scary for you to deal with... so sorry about that," she went on.  
  
"Lorelai, why are you being so nice to me?" Luke asked bluntly.  
  
"Mom! Oh, my God! Are you all right?" she heard Rory's voice then.  
  
Lorelai lifted her head to see her daughter running toward her.  
  
"What are you doing out of bed?" Rory knelt next to her Mom.  
  
"Honey... honey, don't freak. I just came to get air and got a little dizzy, that's all. I sat right down. No harm, no foul. I promise," Lorelai tried to reassure her.  
  
"Mom! You can't do that! What if you tripped and really hurt yourself? What if I came home and something terrible...?" Rory was crying now.  
  
"Honey, I'm okay. Don't do..."  
  
"And you!" Rory stood up and turned to Luke, "What the hell are you doing here?! You were supposed to be the one we could count on—and where have you been?!"  
  
"Rory!" barked Lorelai, "I know I scared you, but you may not talk to Luke that way!"  
  
"Lorelai, it's all ri–.."  
  
"No, it's not, Luke! Rory, apologize to Luke."  
  
"No, I won't," said Rory stubbornly.  
  
"Rory, this is not okay. This is Luke who has done everything for us over the years. Our friend."  
  
"I don't care. He said he loved you. Is this how all men are, Mom? Because I'm tired of it. Sick and tired. They wait until you need them, or love them back, or have given up on you, or whatever...Then.. Then...They say 'I love you' and then that's it—they run away, or marry someone else or..."  
  
"Rory!" yelled Lorelai and stood up, "I won't let you talk to Luke like this."  
  
"But he didn't even come up to your room in the hospital!"  
  
"Rory, look at me," said Lorelai in deadly earnest. "Has Luke ever let us down before?"  
  
Rory shifted uncomfortably at that.  
  
"Have you every done something you weren't proud of? Or shirked something you shouldn't? Or done or said something that you were so sorry for later that it hurt to think about?" she asked her daughter, knowing the answer full well.  
  
Rory looked down.  
  
"Well, Rory, I'll tell you something: I have. More times that I even want to admit. I have let down my parents, or you—even Luke. But when our love isn't diminished by that... when our feelings don't... recede... even because we've been jerks... or the people we love have been jerks... Well, we just have to get over it and move on— We don't give up on them, and we don't give up on ourselves."  
  
Rory looked up at her then.  
  
"Luke is entitled to a screw up now and then, just like the rest of us, Rory. And, it's pretty much my pass to give him in this case, I think. And I highly doubt that he'll be as kind to himself," she added and looked down into his dumbfounded face.  
  
"Now, I want you to apologize to Luke, then go inside. Right now," she told her daughter.  
  
Rory looked at her mother, then turned to look at Luke, "I'm sorry, Luke," she said and hurried into the house, before they could hear her sobs.  
  
Lorelai sighed and turned to follow her daughter.  
  
"Lorelai," said Luke, the hope and fear and pain on his face plain.  
  
"Not now, Luke," she shook her head.  
  
He nodded and she went in to Rory.


	16. Chapter XVI

"Rory!" Lorelai called and walked through the kitchen to her room.  
  
She found her there on her bed, face down in her pillow.  
  
Lorelai sat on the bed next to her.  
  
"Rory, I'm sorry about it all. I'm sorry about Dean, and that school was difficult for you this year, and I'm really sorry I'm sick."  
  
Rory turned over to look at her mother, and swiped at her face.  
  
"None of that is your fault," she sniffed.  
  
"Well, I'm still sorry," Lorelai insisted. "I'm sorry this has to be hard on you. I'm sorry that you're unhappy."  
  
"I'm sorry too, Mom—about it all. And talking to Luke that way... I shouldn't have done it. Geez, how am I gonna face him tomorrow when I start work?"  
  
"You just will," smiled Lorelai, "You could bring him roses, he'd love that."  
  
"Yeah, right," said Rory doubtfully. "I don't understand how you can just make jokes about all of this."  
  
"This?"  
  
"The illness—everything." Rory explained.  
  
"Oh honey, you know me better than that. What else am I going to do? You guys are all miserable enough for me. I have to keep going and, besides, I really want to keep going. The way I see it, I am still who I was, I just get to rest more—a lifetime excuse to nap whenever I like."  
  
"Mom, that's crazy."  
  
"Well, consider the source."  
  
"Oh. Right," Rory nodded.  
  
"Rory, I have a good life. I like it. I've got you. I've got the Inn..."  
  
"You've got Luke?" asked Rory hopefully.  
  
"We'll see," said Lorelai.  
  
"Mom, he loves you."

"I know, poor slob."  
  
"It is hard to resist your charms," Rory admitted with a small smile.  
  
"Oh, I know. I think the permanent imprint of a lettuce crisper on the forehead---my signature look now, by the way---is going to be lauded in the next issue of In Style magazine."  
  
"Do tell!"  
  
"Oh yes, my friend, soon you'll see Nicole and Halle, and even Barbara Bush sporting the lettuce crisper imprint."  
  
"Like tattoos?"  
  
"Yes indeedy!"  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Lorelai opened her eyes groggily into a new morning. These mornings were starting to feel far too much the same now. She needed to do something about that.  
  
So she got up and showered then and put on her favorite jeans and a red low-cut knit top. Because it made her feel better. A little make-up too. What the hell?  
  
She went downstairs to find Rory munching on a poptart.  
  
"Hey," she said to her daughter and poured herself a cup of coffee.  
  
Rory looked up from her newspaper and regarded her mother a moment, "You don't think you're going out, do you?" she asked, her eyes narrowed in concern.  
  
"No," Lorelai replied and joined her at the table. "I was just tired of being so sloppy."  
  
"How do you feel?"  
  
"I feel great this morning," Lorelai smiled.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Well, good."  
  
"So what's the schedule today, Rosalind Russell? Are you hustling to meet deadline? Elbowing the other guy out for the big interview? Gonna have a hot tryst with the hot editor in the copy room?"  
  
"Mary White?" asked Rory  
  
"Go with me on this," snapped Lorelai.  
  
"No, Cary Grant, I'm out to get the scoop," said Rory sarcastically.  
  
"Ooo! Can I call you Scoop Gilmore now?!" asked Lorelai excitedly.  
  
"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to call me now," said Rory as she grabbed her bag and headed for the door. "Goodbye!"  
  
"'Bye Scoop," laughed Lorelai, as she heard the front door open.  
  
She sipped her coffee happily for a bit and began wondering how she should begin her intended torture of Michel via the telephone today.  
  
"Mom?" she heard instead.  
  
"Yikes! Rory! I thought you'd left." Lorelai sputtered into her coffee.  
  
"I think you need to see something."  
  
Lorelai got up and curiously followed Rory into the living room and looked out the front window into the yard.  
  
"Oh, Geez, what is he doing?" asked Lorelai as she watched Luke bent over the ground with a shovel of some kind in his hand.  
  
"From the evidence before me, I'd say that he is putting in a front walk in our yard. And that he has been at it for some time now," deducted Rory.  
  
"Nope, that's not what he's doing," Lorelai shook her head.  
  
"It's not?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What is he doing then?"  
  
"Working it out," sighed Lorelai, "literally."  
  
"Ah," Rory acknowledged, "Too bad I gotta go. This should be good."  
  
Lorelai pulled away from the window and walked determinedly to the front door with Rory trailing behind. She pulled it open and walked out onto the porch.  
  
"Luke, what the hell are you doing?" she called.  
  
"You need a front walk," he said without looking up from the cement he was mixing in his wheelbarrow.  
  
"Well, I'm off to the Daily Planet!" said Rory as she slipped past her mother and walked out to Luke.  
  
"Luke?" she paused before him.  
  
He looked up at her, "Yeah?"  
  
"I really am sorry about yesterday," she shifted uncomfortably.  
  
"Don't worry about it. I had it coming," he shrugged and went back to his mixing.  
  
"No, you didn't," Rory went on. "You have always been there for us... like... I mean even my dad never made us a front path or helped mom the way you do... or anything," she finished and looked at her shoes.  
  
Luke looked up at that, "Well, I'm sure he wanted to."  
  
Rory smiled a little, "I'll see you at the diner later?"  
  
Luke smiled a little too, "Yep."  
  
Rory turned to go, and then turned back quickly, "Would it be too weird if I gave you a little kiss now? I mean I know it's mushy but I'm feeling a little mushy right now."  
  
He stood and turned his cheek to her, "Mush away," he said gruffly and she pecked him on the cheek. He waited until she had stepped away before smiling again.  
  
"Luke, I'm still a little confused," Lorelai called out to him.  
  
"What else is new?" he responded, as he knelt again to set the next course of molded-forms onto the path.  
  
"I resent that! I am rarely confused."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Except for that one time," she frowned in remembrance.

"I'm going to regret hearing this, I know it," he said, though no one was listening to him.  
  
"It was in London at this Dog Pub," she began.  
  
"Dog Pub?" asked Luke caught up as usual in spite of himself. He scooped out some additional wet cement and tamped it down into the form.  
  
"Yeah, Dog Pub," said Lorelai as she sat on her porch swing.  
  
"They have pubs for dogs there?"  
  
"No, that would be silly."  
  
"Right."  
  
"It just had one of those dog names. You know like all the pubs there: 'The Goat and Boot' the 'Fish and Anvil', or whatever. And this one had a Dog name."  
  
"Dog name. Got it." Luke scraped off the excess cement with a trowel.  
  
"The Hound and Hydrant—or something like that," she pondered.  
  
"But no dogs actually in the pub."  
  
"Oh, there are always dogs in the pub. The British love their dogs. And this one was decorated to the teeth or, I suppose, to the fangs, in doggy decor."  
  
"Is there a point to this story?" asked Luke as he went for another scoop of cement.  
  
"I'm telling you about the time I was confused," she explained.  
  
"Right."  
  
"So, anyway, Rory and I had an ale..."  
  
"You let Rory have an ale?" he looked at her in surprise.  
  
"It was England Luke, it was perfectly legal," she assured him.  
  
"Oh," he shook his head in confusion, "of course."  
  
"So, anyway, you know the natural result of drinking beer?" she asked.  
  
"The need to eat nuts?" he guessed.  
  
"No, the bodily need after drinking beer?"  
  
"Oh, Geez."  
  
"So I get up to go to the loo—that's what they call it in England..."  
  
"Fascinating."  
  
"And I get to the back where the two doors are, and that's when I got confused."  
  
Luke looked up at her, eyebrows raised, waiting.  
  
"So I walk back to Rory, because I'm, you know, _in a hurry_..."  
  
He sighed at that.  
  
"And I ask her, 'Hey Rory, am I a Pointer or a Setter?'" and here Lorelai threw back her head and howled with laughter.  
  
Luke ducked his head to avoid being caught in his own smile.  
  
"Oh boy, what now?" asked Lorelai as she looked up to see her mother's car pull into the driveway.  
  
Emily emerged and went to open her trunk and pull out several shopping bags.  
  
Luke got up without a word and went to help her.  
  
Lorelai watched as Emily smiled at him and handed the bags over.  
  
"Lorelai, you're dressed! And what are you doing outside?" Emily demanded as she approached the porch.  
  
"I was just bored. So I got dressed. I promise I am still resting."  
  
"You're not out here digging in cement, I hope?"  
  
"No, Mom, just watching Luke."  
  
"Well, I think it's a very good idea to finally put a walk in," said Emily as she climbed the porch stairs.  
  
Luke set the bags down and went to lay another course of the walkway.  
  
"What's with all the bags, Mom?"

"Well, I've got the sheets I bought you..." said Emily and pulled out several sets for Lorelai's approval.  
  
"Those are really nice, Mom," Lorelai offered. "Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome," smiled Emily. "I think they'll make you much more comfortable."  
  
"I'm sure they will," nodded Lorelai. "So why don't you have a seat, Mom?"  
  
"Well, actually, there's something else..." Emily trailed off uncomfortably.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yes, something else I bought..."  
  
"Oh Mom, we agreed on the sheets and mattress, that's all," Lorelai told her firmly.  
  
"I know. It's not something for you. I bought something for myself... and I want your opinion on it."  
  
"You want my opinion?" asked Lorelai in surprise.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What is it?" she asked curiously.  
  
"A dress."  
  
"You want my opinion of a dress you bought for yourself?"  
  
"Yes. You see your father and I are going in to New York tonight. To a cabaret...."  
  
"Really? A cabaret," grinned Lorelai.  
  
"And I bought a new dress... and it's not something I usually wear and so... well, I thought..."  
  
"Ooo!" Lorelai clapped her hands together, "Go try it on, right now!"  
  
"Really?" asked Emily with a smile.  
  
"Yep. I'll wait right here and you come give me a fashion show."  
  
"Well, if you're sure..."  
  
"Go, go..." Lorelai urged her. "All right," smiled Emily, "I will!" and she snatched up her bag and hurried in.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Wow," said Lorelai when Emily stood before her.  
  
"No good?" asked Emily, her expression fallen.  
  
"No, Mom, it's wonderful! Turn around." Emily pivoted obligingly. "I've never seen you wear something like this before," Lorelai noted in wonder.  
  
"Too young? It's too young, isn't it? I was afraid of that. I haven't worn anything sleeveless in years and the slit is a little high."  
  
"Mom, look at me." Emily did so. "It is fabulous. You look absolutely gorgeous in that dress!"  
  
"Really? Because I've never done emerald green."  
  
"Mom, trust me, Joan Collins would knock you right in the swimming pool."  
  
Emily smiled shyly. "Well, thank you."  
  
"Dad is going to flip," Lorelai added, "But it looks like the hem is coming down a little in the back."  
  
"It does?" Emily turned to look, "Damn it. Is there a seamstress in this town? I really want to wear it tonight."  
  
"Relax, Mom, the finest seamstress in town is seated right here."  
  
"Oh Lorelai, I don't think..." Emily demurred.  
  
"Go upstairs and change and then bring me my sewing basket from the dresser. It'll take me ten minutes, I promise."  
  
"Are you sure you're up to it?"  
  
"Absolutely," Lorelai nodded.  
  
"All right, then," Emily smiled and went in.  
  
Lorelai directed her gaze back down to Luke who was nearly at the end of his path now. She saw him smiling.  
  
And that made her feel so good that she smiled too, and even better when he lifted his eyes to meet hers.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::  
  
"Here you go, Mom," she said as she tied off the last stitch, "Now it's perfect."  
  
"That looks wonderful," said Emily in surprise.  
  
"Go hang it up now, so it won't wrinkle."  
  
She turned to look out at Luke again when she saw Sookie and Jackson pull in behind Emily's car.  
  
She waved and then grinned as she watched Sookie unhook Davey from his car seat.  
  
"Watch this!" Jackson yelled as he set the infant down on the ground.  
  
Lorelai clapped happily as Little Davey, clasping his father's forefingers in his stickly fists, took a few stumbling steps forward.  
  
"Oh that is wonderful!" she called out. "Look how big he is!"  
  
Sookie came up and sat next to her on the swing then. "Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling?"  
  
"Never mind me," Lorelai waved herself aside, "What is in that tupperware?" she demanded.  
  
Sookie giggled, "Oh, nothing but—Chocolate Pudding Cake!"  
  
"Woohoo!"  
  
"I told you it was a better choice than the raspberry tarts," she told Jackson as he and Davey came up the stairs to join them.  
  
"But the early raspberries are so perfect right now," he disagreed.  
  
"Sookie, Jackson, hello!" said Emily as she stepped through the door. "Why don't I make everyone some tea?"  
  
"Oh, you don't have to do that, Mom."  
  
"Nonsense, I want to."  
  
"I'll come help you, Emily, we can cut the cake too," said Sookie as she got up and went in as well.  
  
"Let me at him," Lorelai said to Jackson then and stretched her arms out for Davey.. "Hey, sweetie," she baby-talked him. He drooled a big one in return. "Are you working on teeth, are you?" she smiled. Davey grunted at that.  
  
"Hey, Luke!" she called. "Come take a break with us!"  
  
Luke looked up thoughtfully, then came up and sat down on the top step of the porch.  
  
"Are you guys letting him have chocolate cake yet?" she asked Jackson as Davey tangled his fists in her hair.  
  
"Oh yes, he already has quite the sophisticated palette," bragged Jackson.  
  
"Do you want some Chocolate pudding cake, Davey? Do you?" she cooed. Davey squeaked in response, causing the adults to laugh.  
  
"Well, he wouldn't be Sookie's baby and not know that word," said Jackson.  
  
Lorelai stole a glance at Luke, he caught her eye silently for the second time that morning and smiled. It filled her up, that smile. Just filled her up and tingled down her spine, and she happily let Luke see that in her eyes.  
  
She hugged Davey close, "You feel good," she told the little guy.  
  
"Here we are," announced Emily as she came onto the porch carrying a tray of ice tea, Sookie in tow with cake and plates.  
  
They all sat happily then, eating and talking about the cake and the walkway, and watching Davey eat cake with his fists. Then Lorelai closely questioned Sookie on all the Inn doings.  
  
"So Michel has it all under control?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"Honestly, Lorelai, we don't need you at all," said Sookie.  
  
And a cold pause came over them all at that as everyone turned to look at Lorelai in sympathy. The blissful moment spoiled.  
  
"Oh... No, that's good... I'm glad Michel can handle it..." she stammered.  
  
"Lorelai, I'm sorry... I didn't mean... I just didn't want you to worry," said Sookie as sorry as she could be.  
  
"Honey, it's okay. I understand."  
  
They all paused awkwardly then.  
  
"So, Lorelai," Jackson broke in and cleared his throat. "I want to talk to you about the hedge maze."  
  
"Oh, right," said Lorelai attentively, glad to have a new focus.  
  
"I know you wanted to have it all in place before the Jane Austen people arrive on Friday."  
  
"Right."  
  
"And I think I could have done it, but..."  
  
"But what?"  
  
"I've run into a problem a the nursery," Jackson explained.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yeah, the cost for the rosemary was mis-calculated by about fifty percent."  
  
"Damn," said Lorelai. "I really wanted to do this, but there is no way if it's going to be that much more expensive."  
  
"No, you don't understand," Jackson clarified. "I was overpriced. I can get twice as many bushes for the same price."  
  
"So that means..." Lorelai calculated.  
  
"That we can have the maze twice as large as we planned originally."  
  
"Ooo! I love it. That is so cool!"  
  
"But it still leaves a problem: The workers."  
  
"Right," nodded Lorelai sad again.  
  
"What do you mean 'the workers'?" asked Emily curiously.  
  
"Well see, originally, Emily, Lorelai and Jackson were going to put the shrubs in themselves. But now with twice as many shrubs, and Lorelai home, and no extra money for garderners..." Sookie explained as she wiped at Davey's hands.  
  
"Oh, I see," frowned Emily. "Well... What if I give you the money, Lorelai?"  
  
"No mom, absolutley not," said Lorelai firmly.  
  
"Why not?" demanded Emily.  
  
"I don't want your money co-mingling with the Inn," insisted Lorelai stubbornly.  
  
"I don't see why it shouldn't. It's just the same as any other money," sniffed Emily.  
  
"No, Mom." said Lorelai feeling the uncomfortable eyes of her friends on her during this exchange.  
  
"Well, it could be a loan, then," offered Emily. "I want to help."  
  
"You do, Mom. You help by being here and making ice tea and getting me sheets, but no money for the Inn."  
  
"Fine. If you're going to be that way."  
  
"I am, "said Lorelai and sighed.  
  
And they all sat in the thick quiet yet again.  
  
"You know," said Lorelai tiredly. "I... I really think I need to lie down for awhile guys. Sorry."  
  
They all looked at her in concern then and started moving to help her.  
  
"No, no, I'm fine... I'm just going to go up for awhile," she said and walked herself to the door.  
  
When she got there, she turned back to her mother, "Mom?"  
  
Emily looked up in concern, "Yes, Lorelai?"  
  
"Will you stay until I wake up?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Yes, of course," softened Emily.  
  
"Good," she smiled. "Okay guys, thanks for everything. I'll see you later," she said as she went in, deliberately avoiding Luke's eyes.


	17. Chapter XVII

She went slowly up the stairs then.  
  
She was tired. And she was sick and tired of being tired. She sighed then and thought about Luke. What was she doing anyway? Encouraging him, that's what. Trying to draw him back slowly and gently the way one would a frightened animal. She was using patience and understanding and forgiveness, everything but a big Bugs Bunny carrot with a trailing green tail. Yes, she wanted him back all right. She loved him.  
  
Not that he'd left really, but she knew what pain did to Luke, and what he did to himself when he was in pain—and it all amounted to a kind of isolation. Usually she could metaphorically knock him upside the head, jiggle him out of it, or talk him down and into a new way of thinking. But this time it was different. Lorelai knew this as surely as she knew that the Bangles should have just gotten over it all and worked it out.  
  
But this time it was about her.  
  
And though it had been about her before, this was nevertheless different. Luke was in a deep hole now, and it had been dug long ago in a past where she did not exist. And she was too tired to give him a hand up right now anyway, she thought as she flopped on her bed. She wasn't even sure that she should, let alone could. Normally she had absolutely no compunction about kicking Luke in the ass when he needed it, when he got too complacent riding his flannel groove. But this was about her now, and about her being sick, and although she knew she was still the same person (with this new added not-so-good feature,) others, as was just evidenced downstairs, were really only seeing that new feature right now. Like a bad haircut. And maybe dealing with this new bad haircut, having to look at it daily, was just not something she should ask Luke to take on.  
  
Because ultimately, he might. And she really didn't know if she wanted that for him...  
  
She fell asleep then, and in her dream she was in the damn hedge maze. Only now it was overgrown and tall and didn't smell good at all. And there were all these different ways one could go. These different individual ways. And she knew that eventually they must all join at the middle where she wanted to be—where she could rest and be happy. But she was so frickin' sick of the twists and turns, whereas, she also knew, that once upon a time, before all this---when she wasn't so tired (even in her dreams,) she could just take them all in her stride, while wearing a great outfit too.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Honey, is that you?" she mumbled out into the twilit room.  
  
"Oh mom, I didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep. I'll be out of here in a minute," Rory told her.  
  
Lorelai sat up and switched on her bedside lamp, "No, it's all right. I feel better now. What are you looking for?"  
  
Rory opened another drawer in the dresser and began poking about, "Your little evening bag with the green beads. Grandma's getting ready for her date with Grandpa and she forgot to bring a purse."  
  
"Ooo! I forgot about that purse, it would be perfect with that dress!" said Lorelai getting out of bed to help her search. She went over to the closet then and pulled down a box off the shelf. "Aren't you supposed to be at the diner?"  
  
"I need to leave in ten minutes," said Rory from under the bed.  
  
"Oh, here it is!" called Lorelai happily. "Man, I forgot how cute this is. I need me a new green dress," she frowned thoughtfully.  
  
"Hand it over, Zsa Zsa," demanded Rory.  
  
Lorelai complied and followed Rory out of the room and down the stairs.  
  
"Hey, how was the Daily Planet?"  
  
"Peachy. I now feel I could write a dissertation on the sanitation ordinances of Stars's Hollow," Rory replied drily.  
  
"So, 'glamorous' would be your first choice of descriptors?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
They were at the foot of the stairs then when Lorelai heard the doorbell ring. They stopped.  
  
"You go give Mom the bag, I'll answer it," said Lorelai.  
  
She pulled the door open with a grin and after beholding her father before her, gave a little wolf whistle too.  
  
"Good evening, Lorelai," said Richard formally. "I am here to pick up Emily."  
  
"Come on in, Dad."  
  
In the living room they stood together; Richard awkwardly holding a florist's box. Lorelai grinning even more widely.  
  
"I don't want any of your nonsense, Lorelai," he told her gruffly.  
  
"Like what?"

"Oh, like asking me about my intentions or giving us a curfew or something ridiculous like that."  
  
"Oh, I am much more sophisticated than that," commented Lorelai as she debated whether or not she could get away with a condom joke. _Not_, she decided. "So, what's in the box, Dad?" she asked instead.  
  
"It is an orchid corsage for your mother. She used to be quite fond of them," said Richard. He looked past his daughter then, and she watched his eyes light up when he caught sight of Emily at the living room archway, Rory standing next to her proudly.  
  
"It's the romantic way to do this, Lorelai," her mother said from behind her.  
  
Lorelai turned to smile at her mom, "Oh Mom, you look beautiful!"  
  
"Yes, she does," Richard concurred as he walked over to hand her the boxed orchid.  
  
"Thank you, Richard," said Emily with a smile up at him. "Lorelai, would you help me put this on in the other room?"  
  
"Sure Mom," she said and followed Emily into Rory's room.  
  
"Thank you for lending me the purse, Lorelai," said Emily as Lorelai removed the orchid from the box and pinned it on her mother's dress.  
  
"Sure thing."  
  
"I found a half eaten bag of M&Ms in it," Emily sniffed.  
  
"Ooo! Dibbs!" called Lorelai in glee as she finished up.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Much better after my rest."  
  
"Well, good."  
  
They walked back out into the living room then and the elder Gilmores even suffered having their picture taken by Rory before she hurried off to the diner. And soon, the door closed and everyone away and gone, Lorelai plopped herself down on the sofa to open up her Jane Austen.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
The next morning, Lorelai really did feel quite a bit better.  
  
She peeked into Rory's room and decided to give the poor working girl an extra twenty minutes to sleep.  
  
She poured a mug of coffee and went out to sit on the front porch to enjoy the morning a bit.  
  
"Hey," she said in surprise, when she found Luke on the porch opening up a large box.  
  
"Oh hey," he said. "I didn't wake you, did I?"  
  
"Oh no," she smiled as she sat down, "I was just feeling better and got up."  
  
"Well that's great," Luke told her with a little smile and knelt to finish opening in the carton.  
  
"Uh, Luke?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What's in the box there?"  
  
"Solar-powered walk-way lights," he explained without looking up.  
  
"Solar-powered walk-way lights? Well... that's nice. And where are you putting them?"  
  
"Along your new walk-way, of course," he said, and pulled out the instructions.  
  
"Obviously," she dead-panned. "Um, Luke..."  
  
"Ah Jeez, these damn things are in Japanese!"  
  
"Luke..."  
  
"I don't read Japanese!"  
  
"Luke..."  
  
"I mean I guess I can figure it out, but..." he looked up at her now, "They damn well better start adding Japanese to the public school curriculum if they want kids to be able to function at all in this world when they graduate, damn it! I mean how are the nation's young people supposed to put in their walk-way lights..."  
  
"Luke!" she shouted at him  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Do not start the Japanese rant, I beg you!"  
  
"Fine," he sighed and pulled a light fixture out of the box.  
  
"Listen... Luke!"  
  
He looked up at her.  
  
"I think we need to talk," she told him.  
  
"I need to get these lights put in," he looked away, "And then get back ."  
  
"No, you need to talk to me," she told him firmly.  
  
"But the lights need to be put up, so you won't trip on the path."  
  
"Luke, for crying out loud! Listen, I am going in to wake Rory for work and when I come back out here, I want to talk to you, damn it."  
  
He didn't respond. She went in quickly then to wake Rory but when she came back out onto the porch, Luke was already in the yard installing the lights. She sighed in irritation.  
  
"The new path looks nice," she heard a soft voice say. She turned then to see Lulu sitting on the porch swing, a covered casserole in her lap.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Well Lulu, this is so... nice. I've never had lima bean casserole before," she smiled after Lulu had handed over the dish.  
  
"Well, it's a great comfort food when you aren't feeling well, so I thought I'd make you one," she said sweetly.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
They paused a moment.  
  
"Lorelai, could I ask you something?"  
  
"Well sure, Lulu," Lorelai told her and sat down with her on the swing.  
  
"It's about Kirk..."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"Yes, I'm afraid that wealth is changing him," said Lulu sadly.  
  
"Oh, I'm sure you're wrong, Lulu," comforted Lorelai.  
  
"I love him, Lorelai. I love him just the way he is."  
  
"Well, who wouldn't?" agreed Lorelai.  
  
"And now..."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Now, he's different. Since his mother died. Since all the money started coming in."  
  
"Well, how is he different?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"Well, the other night at the movies, he bought me the medium-sized Icee drink."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"I mean he knows that I love orange Icee drinks, right?"  
  
"Right." nodded Lorelai.  
  
"But they're very expensive. And he just goes and buys the medium size!"  
  
"Wow."  
  
"And there's something else."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"He's talking about buying that little house over on Elm, now that his mother's place is on the market," said Lulu.  
  
"Well, he needs a place to live, Lulu."  
  
"I know. It's just that he wants me to go over and look at it with him. He wants me to like it before he buys it."  
  
"Isn't that a good thing, Lulu?" Lorelai asked kindly. "Your opinion is important to him. He wants you to have what you need and want. When we love someone that becomes the most important thing."  
  
"I know," nodded Lulu. "That's why I don't want this money to change Kirk. He has such a free entrepreneurial spirit. It is so beautiful, I mean he is just like one of the pioneers."  
  
Lorelai's eyes widened at that as Lulu's glowed.  
  
"And," she continued, "I don't want the money to tie him down, you know? I don't want him to feel like he has to be conventional and buy me a house. I want him to be him. I don't want a compromised Kirk. I love the Kirk I have. I don't know what to do, Lorelai."  
  
"Lulu, you need to talk to Kirk about this. It will never get better, it will only get worse in fact, if you don't talk to him," she said thoughtfully.  
  
"I guess. It just seems so hard. I don't want to hurt him," said Lulu dejectedly.  
  
"I know you don't, Lulu. But trust me, Kirk would want to know if anything is making you unhappy," Lorelai urged her.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Lorelai comforted Lulu with a few more assurances before the young woman went off in search of Kirk, and when Lorelai looked around again, she saw that she now had solar-powered walk-way lights, but that Luke was no where in sight.  
  
Damn.  
  
She marched into the house and dialed the diner.  
  
"Lane? Is Luke there?" she asked when the young woman answered the phone.  
  
"No, he went out for a bit, Lorelai, do you want to leave a message?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Um... No..."  
  
"Okay..."  
  
"Just tell him I called."  
  
"Will do. Are you okay?"  
  
"Swell," she grumped.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
It was early evening as Lorelai sat and fretfully flipped through the channels. Not a damn thing worth watching. It was cruel, she thought, that just when she could see all the TV she wanted, there was nothing on that she wanted to see.  
  
She switched off the remote and threw it down next to her in disgust.  
  
Luke hadn't returned any of the several messages she'd left. Lane merely saying that he had gone out and didn't know when he'd be back each time she'd called.  
  
Her mother had called though; She'd be by tomorrow and, yes, she'd had a lovely time; And, how was she feeling? And had she tried the new sheets yet?  
  
Lorelai sighed guiltily then and got off the couch to go upstairs to open and wash the new sheets, so she could actually be honest with Emily when next she saw her.  
  
When she finally got the washer switched on, she heard Rory come in downstairs.  
  
"Rory? Hun? I called for pizza. It should get here before you have to leave for the diner. And do you have any idea where Luke...?" she was downstairs herself then and looking at her daughter who was on the sofa.  
  
"Rory? Are you okay?" she asked in concern over her daughter's expression.  
  
Rory looked up at her Mom, "I just got a letter from Dean," she said quietly.  
  
Lorelai looked down at the opened letter in her daughter's hand.  
  
"Oh Rory, I'm sorry."


	18. Chapter XVIII

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lorelai asked and crossed in to sit next to Rory on the sofa.  
  
"Not really," said Rory. "He just pretty much said what you told me he talked to you about: He's in Chicago working for his uncle. He and Lindsay are going through with the divorce. And he's definitely going to transfer to the University of Chicago in the fall. And that's that." Rory folded the letter then and returned it to its envelope.  
  
"Well, that's good, I guess—I mean the going to school part," said Lorelai.  
  
"Yeah, it is..."  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"No, Mom, I'm not okay. I just broke up a marriage!" said Rory as she got to her feet.  
  
"Oh, Rory..." Lorelai began.  
  
"No, Mom. There's no 'Oh, Rory, but--' on this. I did it. I mean I know I wasn't alone, but I was a pretty big part of the whole sordid operation. Because that's what it all is, just sordid..."  
  
"Rory, I don't know what to say," said Lorelai as she crossed over to her daughter.  
  
"There is nothing you can say," said Rory and paused a moment. "I'm just... I think I'm just going to go to my room for awhile."  
  
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather—"  
  
"No! I'm going to my room."  
  
"All right, all right," Lorelai gave up as she watched her daughter walk into the other room.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Lorelai sat in her room later that evening stewing on the restrictions her life had now.  
  
Rory had gone sullenly off to the diner.  
  
Sookie was putting Davey down about now.  
  
Michel had everything under control at The Dragonfly and had told her never to call him again.  
  
Even Babette and Maury were gone into the city.  
  
And she still had days and days to go before she had to go back in for the Tilt Table test again. Maybe then they would let her go back to work. But that seemed a long way away right now. Truth was she had felt pretty good today and all she wanted to do was go visit the Inn a little (check on the washing machine repair and the latest reservations,) then walk slowly through Stars' Hollow, see a movie maybe, and then hit the diner for coffee. And, of course, see Luke. She wanted life the way it used to be. 'Cause frankly, she observed for the millionth time, change really sucked.  
  
She walked restlessly over to her window then and looked down into the yard. The new walk-way lights glowed prettily... But then, she saw him. Or rather, she saw his truck on the road and then peered into the dark and saw a shadowy Luke struggling with something large under her big tree. She about-faced immediately and hurried down the stairs and outside.  
  
"Caught ya!" she called out from the back door.  
  
"Jeez Lorelai, don't do that!"  
  
She walked down to where he stood under the tree.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I am setting up a hammock," he said as if this were the most normal thing in the world.  
  
"You're setting up a hammock?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"In the dark?"  
  
"Well, it was the only time I had," he reasoned as he began fitting the stand together.  
  
"You're wearing your suit," she observed.  
  
"Stupid lawyer meeting in Hartford to finish up settling the estate. They say that legally they have to give me that percentage—because I was the executor and all. Damn lawyers," he said in some frustration.  
  
"Well, sorry about that," said Lorelai.  
  
"What are you gonna do?" asked Luke and switched to the other end of the hammock stand.  
  
"Luke..."  
  
"You like to be outside," he told her as he continued working.  
  
"Yes, I do," she said in irritation.  
  
"So, I thought a hammock... you know, so you could rest... outside."  
  
"Very nice. But, Luke..."  
  
"This weekend I thought maybe a fountain or a birdbath or something.... You know, to look at..." he went on as he stretched the canvas between the opposing end stands. "I got the solid canvas instead of the net kind, it just looked more comfortable..."  
  
"Luke! For the love of God, stop!" she finally yelled, unable to take it any longer.  
  
He looked up at her.  
  
"You have to stop: You are 'This Old House-ing' me to distraction!. We. Must. Talk."  
  
He looked at the ground where he was crouching, "I don't want to," he said softly.  
  
She sighed and her eyes filled with tears.  
  
"I know you don't," she understood gently.  
  
He looked up at her across the hammock.  
  
"I love you so much..." he whispered.  
  
"I know..." she nodded.  
  
"And there you were... and they were putting you in an ambulance...."  
  
"I know... I am so sorry..."  
  
"There wasn't a fucking thing I could do..." he said and sat down fully on the ground, his hands on his knees, his head down. "I thought maybe.. I thought maybe you might be... or something..."  
  
"Oh Luke..." there was no controlling her tears now.  
  
"And I haven't prayed... I haven't prayed since I was a kid... before my Mom, for all the good that did... I mean I just never... pray..."  
  
She crossed over to him and knelt next to him.  
  
"But seeing you in that ambulance," he swallowed, "I did... I prayed, I mean."  
  
"Oh Luke... It's all right... I'm all right..." she assured him.  
  
"But you're not. Not really," he said and looked up at her. "No, you're right, not really," she agreed.  
  
She met his gaze for a moment, then pulled his head to her shoulder and subsequently felt rather than heard his sobs shudder through them both. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::  
  
With no further words between them, they eventually lay back on the grass spent, hands just touching.  
  
"This is going to ruin your suit," she eventually said.  
  
"I don't care."  
  
They looked up at the emerging stars through the tree branches for awhile.  
  
"What's going to happen, Lorelai?" he asked at last.  
  
"Oh Luke, I wish I knew."  
  
"How can I make sure you're going to be okay?"  
  
"You can't," she said as kindly as she could.  
  
"Is this how you felt when Rory broke her arm?"  
  
"I guess... I think so," she shuddered at the memory. "Luke, I could say that things are going to be the same. But they aren't."  
  
"God dammit!" said Luke through his clenched jaw. "Just... God dammit." He passed a hand over his face.  
  
"So, I guess we need to make a decision," she went on, closing her eyes tight, trying to do the right thing. "We need to decide what's best for both of us... And what's best may not be what makes us both happy in the short run...."  
  
They both lifted their heads then to see a Stars' Hollow Security vehicle pull into the drive. They both sat up and shielded their eyes from the bright headlights then, until the driver switched off the engine.  
  
"Luke!" they heard Kirk call.  
  
Luke and Lorelai both groaned.  
  
"Crap. Crap. Crap. I had to spend all afternoon with that guy and his crazy brothers. What the hell does he want now?" groused Luke. "Oh there you are," said Kirk as he approached them. "I apologize if I'm interrupting your evening tryst."  
  
"There is no evening tryst, Kirk," barked Luke.  
  
"Lorelai, how are you feeling this evening?" he asked politely.  
  
"I'm feeling pretty good, Kirk, thank you," said Lorelai wiping at her cheeks.  
  
"It's probably the lima bean casserole that Lulu made. I swear it has healing properties. I've been thinking about sending a sample to the AMA to have it studied."  
  
"Kirk, what do you want?" snapped Luke.  
  
"Oh, I need your advice," said Kirk.  
  
"Kirk, I'm not really in the mood to give advice right now."  
  
"It'll only take a minute. And actually, Lorelai, I'm glad you're here too. I think I could also use the woman's perspective on this."  
  
"Well there is nothing I like better than representing all women, Kirk."  
  
"That's what I thought," he nodded, "You like telling people what to do."  
  
"What do you want, Kirk?" Lorelai being the one to snap now.  
  
"Well Lulu and I had a pivotal talk about our relationship this evening."  
  
"Well, that's good, Kirk," she told him.  
  
"Kirk, get to the damn point!"  
  
"All right, Luke. Calm down. The thing is, I think I've decided to ask Lulu to marry me."  
  
"Oh Kirk, that's wonderful. Congratulations," said Lorelai in sincerity.  
  
"Thank you. So I just have this one question for Luke here."  
  
"What is it, Kirk?"  
  
"How exactly do I go about proposing? I mean, you've been married before. And I'm sure you and Lorelai here have talked about..."  
  
"I am not the person for you to ask, Kirk," Luke interrupted gruffly.

"But, I want to do it right. I want to be manly about it, like you...—"  
  
"I haven't done anything right or manly, have you got that, Kirk?!" yelled Luke as he got to his feet menacingly.  
  
"Luke..." Lorelai got up and put a restraining hand on his forearm.  
  
"No!" he turned to Lorelai, "I have screwed up and screwed up and fucking screwed up again!" he whirled the other direction now, "Have you got that, Kirk!" Luke yelled in the younger man's face.  
  
"Luke..." Lorelai tried again.  
  
"If I had gotten off my ass years ago, maybe... But no, I couldn't do that, could I? I couldn't make a fucking move, could I? No, I just have to let her move on without me... Always without me... And then I get drunk and get married on a ship just to prove that I could, Kirk! Just to prove that I could! And that I could have someone too! Is that screwed up enough for you, is it? Is that the manly guy you want romantic advice from? Huh, Kirk? Some fucking great role model right here!" yelled Luke slapping himself on the chest.  
  
"I've come at a bad time..." said Kirk backing up.  
  
"That's right, Kirk, you sure as hell have! Cause it's too late...I screwed up. And Lorelai's sick... And I can't do anything... And Lorelai's sick..." repeated Luke, crying again.  
  
"Luke..." whispered Lorelai in tears, "Please, stop it..."  
  
"All I can do... Is Build. A. Fucking. Hammock!" he yelled, punctuating each word with a vicious kick at the fucking hammock itself, until it fell apart with a clamoring sound.  
  
The three of them looked down at the very dead hammock now.  
  
Luke looked over at Lorelai then, "I don't want you to be sick," he said hoarsely.  
  
"I know you don't."  
  
"I wanted something else..."  
  
"I know you did. So did I. I'm sorry," said Lorelai crying openly herself now. "I um... I just need... to go in..." she said and turned to hurry into the house.  
  
"Lorelai... wait!..." called Luke making a move for her.  
  
But she ignored him and slammed the kitchen door behind her.  
  
Once inside she tried to breathe for a moment, but decided that maybe if she kept moving it would be better... so she quickly moved about downstairs turning off lights, shutting windows and locking doors. Then she climbed the stairs and repeated the process, finally closing her own curtains with a jerk (determinedly not looking down to see if Luke and Kirk were still in the yard.)  
  
She sat down on the floor under her window then and cried harder than she ever remembered having done before. At some point she heard the phone ringing, but that was far away. And then later Rory was there putting her to bed. She thought she heard her talking on the phone as well... but she was tired now, and just answering a simple question like 'how do you feel?' or 'do you want a drink?' was just too exhausting to answer...  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
When she finally awoke her body ached and ached and there was this dull fuzziness to her thinking, and lifting her head seemed to require the strength of Hercules.  
  
"Lorelai.."  
  
She turned to see her mother sitting next to her.  
  
"Mom? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Rory called and said you seemed to be doing worse. I called to talk to your doctor. We think you're overdoing. She wants you to stay in bed completely today and rest."  
  
"Where's Rory?"  
  
"I sent her ahead to work. She wanted to stay..."  
  
"No, that's good... I'm glad you did. Um..." she cleared her dry throat. "Could I have a drink of water?"  
  
"Certainly," said Emily and handed one over to her.  
  
"Lorelai, I know there was something with Luke... Do you want to tell me about it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"All right. Well, try to rest, then."  
  
Lorelai rolled over and closed her eyes, it being the easiest thing to do really.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Later, when she opened her eyes again, the room was much darker. Her head felt clearer. She sighed and sat up and looked over at Rory sitting in the chair next to the bed. She smiled at that. Her beautiful daughter sitting there reading. That was something she could always count on.  
  
Wait a minute...  
  
"Rory! What the hell are you reading?!" she barked.  
  
"Jeez Mom, you scared me. I didn't know you were awake."  
  
"What are you reading?"  
  
"Oh, I told Grandma a little about Dean's letter and she gave me this book to read..."  
  
"No... Oh Rory..."  
  
"Now I know it looks kind of goofy, but there's----"  
  
"Just something about it?" supplied Lorelai.  
  
"Yeah, how'd you know?' asked Rory.  
  
"Aauugh..." groaned Lorelai and collapsed back into the sheets.


	19. Chapter XIX

Rory heard her mother's groan with some alarm.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Well, I'm very concerned over the situation in Iraq but otherwise, I'm fine."  
  
"Do you want something to eat?"  
  
"What have we got?"  
  
"Um... Lima bean casserole?" offered Rory.  
  
Lorelai groaned again.  
  
"No really, I know it sounds gross, but it's not, there's—"  
  
"If you say 'just something about it,' I will scream." Lorelai told her.  
  
"I was going to say 'there's plenty left and it's really surprisingly good.'"  
  
"Oh, well that's hard to believe but, okay then. I'm holding you personally responsible though."  
  
"Noted."  
  
"Um... Rory... When do you leave for the diner?"  
  
"In about half an hour."  
  
Lorelai began worrying the sheet edge. "Is Luke working tonight?" she finally asked.  
  
Rory looked at her mother sympathetically, "Uh... his hours haven't been real consistent lately..."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"I'm worried about him."  
  
Lorelai sighed, "I know, me too kid." She looked up at Rory sadly.  
  
"Mom, he came in last night looking awful and made a phone call and then just hung up... And, the weird thing was that Kirk was with him! And his suit was all covered in grass, Luke's that is, not Kirk's... And then he sent me home. Said he didn't think you were feeling too well. Then Lane called me this morning at the paper and said that after I left, he and Kirk just sat at the counter drinking coffee without talking—Coffee! Luke doesn't drink coffee. And then he left Lane a twenty dollar tip and just went upstairs without saying a word."  
  
"Oh boy. And what did Kirk do?"  
  
"Lane said he followed him upstairs and then came back down mumbling something about brotherhood..."  
  
"Brotherhood?" asked Lorelai, wide-eyed.  
  
"Weird, huh?"  
  
"Very," said Lorelai in consternation.  
  
"Mom, what is going on?"  
  
"Luke is having a hard time, honey. Last night he transformed into the Kubler-Ross of all Supermen and leapt from Denial to Anger in a single bound. And God only knows what stage he's at right now.... Probably whichever one involves communing at Home Depot..." she sighed.  
  
"Okay, I am going to interpret that to mean that he is worried about you and has been compulsively building things to avoid dealing with it," assessed Rory.  
  
"You are correct, sir! He has been the busiest of beavers..." Lorelai paused. "Honey, he had to watch me go in the ambulance..."  
  
Rory's blue eyes filled, "Oh, poor Luke."  
  
Lorelai nodded "I don't know what to do for him, Rory."  
  
"You'll figure it out. Luke's... well, he should be in here... with us somehow."  
  
"You're a good kid," said Lorelai looking at her daughter. "What about you? How are you doing?"  
  
Rory shrugged, "I'm sad and I'm worried, but I like working. Working helps."  
  
"It sure can," Lorelai acknowledged. "You know I love you right?"  
  
Rory nodded.  
  
"And this sucks, but here it is. Once I get through the next Tilt Table test maybe we can figure things out a little better, but... We'll just deal, okay? That's what families do. Because I'm not going any where. You know that, right?"  
  
"Yes, not only do I take your word for that, but I have done extensive research to verify it as well. I find research very comforting."  
  
"Well, that's my little professor," smiled Lorelai thinly. "Rory, do we need to talk about Dean?"  
  
Rory looked down at the book in her hands. "He said he still loves me. In the letter," she said quietly.  
  
"Oh. How do you feel about that?"  
  
"I don't know. I love him too, you know? I always will, I think, but this... We just have to be in really different places right now."  
  
Lorelai nodded in understanding.  
  
"Man, being an adult sucks," grumped Rory then.  
  
"Yeah, we've got taxes and all that personal responsibility stuff, not to mention dealing with unresolved emotional issues but, then again, to balance it out, we get to drink."  
  
"Right," nodded Rory. "So I'll go warm up some casserole for you before I go."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Do you want me to say something to Luke for you tonight, Mom?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Because, I will... I know you hate being stuck at home, and if I can help, I want to."  
  
"I know you do, honey, and that's great of you, but I don't want to put you in the middle of anything," said Lorelai.  
  
"All right."  
  
"But maybe..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Just tell him not to drink any more coffee, it isn't good for him," said Lorelai thoughtfully.  
  
"Okay. Will do," Rory smiled.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Later that night Lorelai sat up and picked up the phone on impulse. It rang several times before Luke answered.  
  
"Hey," she said, "I hope I didn't wake you."  
  
"Lorelai?" he said in surprise, "No, didn't wake me. I just didn't want to answer. I was afraid it was Kirk calling to check on me again," he sighed.  
  
"Well, I'm glad you decided to... answer, that is.." Lorelai laughed a little nervously.  
  
"Me too."  
  
They paused uncomfortably.  
  
"So, I hear you're turning into a coffee fiend."  
  
"Hardly. I only had a cup."  
  
"That's how it starts, my friend," said Lorelai wisely.  
  
They paused again.  
  
"Lorelai, I'm sorry.." began Luke.  
  
"Oh no, no.."  
  
"But I am. I just don't want you to think..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I just don't want you to think that I feel anything.. less... for you..." he told her.  
  
"I--" she tried.  
  
"Because, I don't... feel less, I mean..."  
  
"Good."  
  
"If anything, I feel more..."  
  
"Because I have a heart condition?"  
  
"No. I just... I'm not saying this right. I've been an ass. And I don't know why."  
  
"Because you're scared, Luke. So am I." Lorelai explained simply.  
  
"Yeah, well it sucks," he told her.  
  
"I know," she agreed. "Sex is much better," she reflected lightly.  
  
They paused at that.  
  
"Luke, I'm still me," she reminded him gently.  
  
"I know."  
  
"But... I don't know if I can ask you to... take me on now..." she went on.  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"But, I don't want to lose you." She felt the tell-tale stinging in her eyes.  
  
"You won't and there's only one way I can have you now, anyway. I wouldn't know how to go back. I don't want to go back," he said definitively.  
  
"Oh Luke, I don't want you to be Mr. Noble."  
  
"I'm not being Mr. Noble."  
  
She felt herself really losing it now. "Okay. Well, listen, I'm tired..."  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked in concern.  
  
"I'm fine. I'm just tired," she sighed.  
  
"But are you sure you're okay? I mean... are you dizzy or anything?"  
  
"No Luke, I'm not dizzy. I'm sad and frustrated and stuck at home, when my whole life is.. Out there... Someplace else!..."she said in exasperation.  
  
"I wish I could..."  
  
"I know. You've got to just trust me to tell you the truth about... things. About how I'm feeling and stuff. I don't want you to constantly be at Defcon Red..."  
  
"Well, I don't know if that's possible!"  
  
"Well then, we've got a problem."  
  
He didn't respond to that.  
  
"Look Luke, I'm going to sleep now. You get some rest too."  
  
"Lorelai, it's not fair to expect me to just treat you the same now, as if nothing's changed!"  
  
"Well, then I'm not being fair!" she cranked.  
  
"Lorelai..."  
  
"I'm really tired, Luke."  
  
"All right," he sighed in frustration.  
  
"Goodnight, Luke."  
  
"Lorelai?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
He paused.  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Good Morning, Lorelai!" called Emily cheerfully as she came in carrying a tray.  
  
"Well Good Morning, Mary Sunshine," said Lorelai with an arched brow.  
  
"How are you feeling today?" Emily asked pleasantly as Lorelai sat up and took the breakfast tray from her.  
  
"Better and, did I just wake up in an episode of 'Upstairs, Downstairs'?"  
  
"I don't think so," smiled Emily as she smoothed the sheets.  
  
"Mom," said Lorelai as she looked down at her plate, "This is Luke's food, and his coffee," she said with a sip.  
  
"Yes, he just dropped it off a little while ago."  
  
Lorelai sat the tray down then and got out of bed to look out the window. Looking down, she saw the hammock was now fully set up and not looking at all like it had been a defenseless victim of a random beating.  
  
"How did he seem?" asked Lorelai casually as she sat back down to eat.  
  
"He seemed... serious," said Emily knowingly. "Oh."  
  
Emily turned to leave then, but quickly turned back. "Oh, he asked me to deliver a message to you."  
  
"He did?" Lorelai looked up.  
  
"Didn't quite make sense to me, but he was very specific about it."  
  
"Oh?" Lorelai felt her heart race a little (that had to be good, right?)  
  
"Yes, he said I should look you in the eye, and say for him," Emily looked her in the eye then, "I was Very Wrong and am Very Very Sorry."  
  
Lorelai stared at her, speechless.  
  
"I invited him in to tell you himself. But he said you would enjoy it more if you heard me say it. Whatever that means. Nevertheless, I have now fulfilled my duty." Emily scooped up a handful of laundry then and turned to leave, before turning back once more, "Was he wrong about something, Lorelai?" she asked.  
  
"Uh..." Lorelai stammered out of her stupor, "Um, not really."  
  
"Hmm," reflected Emily, "Smart man then." And she left to go to the laundry room.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"...So dear, you know I'm no cook, but I had to bring something and this seemed the best form of entertainment for the bed-ridden I could bring," winked Miss Patty from the bedside chair later that morning.  
  
Lorelai looked down in some amusement at the stack of Playgirl magazines in her lap. "Well, that was very.... thoughtful... of you, Patty."  
  
"I think I shocked your mother though, darling," she stage-whispered to Lorelai  
  
"Nonsense," said Emily airily as she entered the room. "I was a bit... surprised, perhaps.... but," she straightened her shoulders, "I am a Mayflower decedent, after all."  
  
"What's that got to with anything, Mom?" asked Lorelai in confusion.  
  
"Lorelai, if the early colonists could face famine and disease and winter in burlap, I can certainly deal with a few... magazines... in the house."  
  
Patty and Lorelai exchanged a look over that. "Okay..." said Lorelai doubtfully. "You are pretty damn cool, Mom."  
  
"Now, could I get you and your guest some ice tea?" asked Emily sunnily.  
  
"Oh, that would be lovely," enthused Patty.  
  
"Sure... Thanks, Mom," said Lorelai as she watched her mother go. "I don't know what's come over her, Patty. She's not normally so... agreeable. Insane, yes. Agreeable, no." mused Lorelai.  
  
"Oh honey, it's perfectly clear to a woman of the world," commented Patty as she fanned herself knowingly.  
  
"It is?"  
  
"Darling, she has _the glow_."  
  
"The glow?" Lorelai knit her brows over this.  
  
"_The glow_..." said Patty meaningfully.  
  
"Oh!" exclaimed Lorelai, the bulb lit, "_The glow_! Huh... Really?"  
  
"Sweetheart, she's radioactive. Just open your eyes."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"There now. Don't you feel better after a nice shower and all dressed?" asked Emily later.  
  
"Yeah, I do," admitted Lorelai as she helped her mother change the sheets. "So, Mom, Miss Patty thought maybe you were.. Um... in love... or something."  
  
"Really?" Emily smiled to herself as she shook a pillow out of its case. "What a curious woman."  
  
"Yes, she thought you might have been having... romantic... liaisons... or something," shared Lorelai in all innocence as she folded the quilt.  
  
"Did she?"  
  
"Yes, she did....And--Well...?"  
  
"Well what, Lorelai?" asked Emily.  
  
"Have you?"  
  
"That's none of your business, young lady," snapped Emily as she collected the sheets and marched to the door. "And, yes... as a matter of fact, I have," she threw over her shoulder before leaving the room.  
  
Lorelai only had a moment to digest that before she heard the door open and close downstairs and then Rory hurry up the stairs.  
  
"Oh good, you're dressed!" she smiled when she came in, "Good job, Grandma!" Rory called over her shoulder then.  
  
"Excuse me, but I have been dressing myself for years now," Lorelai told her.  
  
"I know. I know. Now, come on... Oh, my God, are those Playgirl magazines?" laughed Rory.  
  
"Come on where?" asked Lorelai as she ushered her daughter out of the room and down the stairs.  
  
Rory handed her mother her purse when they reached the hall, "We are going on a doctor-approved field trip."  
  
"We are?" said Lorelai in some excitement. "Where?"  
  
"That I cannot tell you. Come on, Grandma!" she called up the stairs.  
  
"Coming! Coming!" said Emily hurrying down to meet them.  
  
"You were in on this?" Lorelai asked her mother.  
  
Emily smiled.  
  
"Come on, Mom."  
  
"But where are we going?" whined Lorelai as they headed out to Emily's car. "And why aren't you at work?" she asked suspiciously. "Plagiarism?"  
  
"Nope," said Rory "Just good old fashioned yellow journalism: I am creating the story I am going to cover."  
  
"Ooo! Intrigue! Hey, since when do they let fact-checkers cover stories?"  
  
"Since they learned to stage-manage them, themselves."  
  
"Useful," observed Lorelai.  
  
And they were on their way—Lorelai getting no answers to her persistent questions en route.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Here we are!" called Emily happily as she pulled into the drive of The Dragonfly.  
  
"We're at the Inn?"  
  
"Yes, we are," smiled Rory as she pulled her mother out of the car.  
  
"Oh, hello beautiful Inn!" called Lorelai, "I've missed you so much!"  
  
"Come on, Mom, they're all in the back!"  
  
"Who?" laughed Lorelai as Emily and Rory each took one of her arms and pulled her around the building.  
  
"Ooo! Did The Bangles reunite again? Are The Bangles here?"  
  
"Who are The Bangles?" asked Emily.  
  
"It's not The Bangles," said Rory.  
  
"Well, have you reunited any of my favorite disbanded groups?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, what then?" They were stopped on the back porch now.  
  
"Look for yourself!" smiled Rory. 


	20. Chapter XX

Lorelai lifted her hands to her cheeks.  
  
"Oh, Rory..." was all she could say.  
  
"Hey everybody!" Rory called to the busy group before them, "She's here!"  
  
Everyone lifted their heads momentarily to wave and smile, or to shout a greeting or joke and Lorelai happily waved back. She caught and held Luke's eye a moment too before he resumed digging a hole to plop a rosemary bush in. She breathed deep of the sunshine and fresh air then, and felt a shiver of happiness wiggle its way down her spine.  
  
And then all she could do was look about her and take it all in with her mouth hanging open: She saw Taylor and Andrew arguing over the best way to unload the bushes off the back of Luke's truck. She saw all twelve Gleason brothers digging and planting the neat rows which would grow into hedge walls one day. Gypsy and Jackson were consulting over the plans he'd drawn up, and Luke had now moved on to straightening the benches set up in the open middle of the maze, where the many hedged paths joined, orienting them to face the simple birdbath at the very center.  
  
"Come on, Lorelai," her mother said at her ear. "You should sit down."  
  
She nodded, too happy and tearful at once to speak.  
  
Emily led her to the side of the activity where Sookie was setting up a table of refreshments and Lulu sat holding Davey in the shade of a stand of trees.  
  
"Lorelai! Isn't this great?!" crowed Sookie. "Surprise! Surprise!"  
  
"Oh Sookie, this is more than great," Lorelai leaned in to hug her. "I'm overwhelmed."  
  
"Sit! Sit!" said Sookie gesturing to a nearby bench.  
  
"I should probably help," said Lorelai as she watched Rory move among the workers to take pictures.  
  
"Nonsense, you're only allowed to be here if you rest," Emily told her.  
  
"The Jane Austen people will love this, Lorelai," Lulu smiled at her.  
  
"To hell with them! I love it!"  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
It was early evening when it was finished and everyone sat about lazily under trees and in lawn chairs admiring their work and munching on Sookie's delicacies. From her perch curled up on the garden bench, Lorelai looked over shyly at Luke where he sat nearby leaning against a thick tree trunk, Taylor yaking away at him. He caught her eye and smiled softly at her. She smiled right back, her breath catching a little.  
  
Rory stood up then and called for attention. "Ladies and Gentlemen, on behalf of the Gilmore family, we would like to thank you for all your hard work," she paused to take a scrap of paper out of her pocket while they clapped. "I looked this up this morning. It is from Shakespeare. From Hamlet, to be precise: It says 'Here's rosemary, that's for remembrance.' I know my mother and grandmother and I will always remember our good friends and neighbors who have helped us out so much here today, whenever we look at this wonderful hedge maze."  
  
This brought many murmurs of approval and warm clapping.  
  
"It'll be an excellent draw for tourists, too!" called the ever practical Taylor.  
  
That brought an entirely different kind of colorful commentary from the crowd.  
  
Lorelai stood up then, "I don't really know what to say. My daughter here, as you know, is the educated one. She can quote literature impressively. I can only talk often and fast!" Everyone laughed knowingly at that. "But it does seem to me," she added thoughtfully, "That Ophelia chic, who wandered around mumbling crazy incoherent stuff, was the one who said that in Hamlet... So I think Rory chose a very appropriate quote indeed."  
  
"I was hoping you wouldn't pick up on that part," said Rory drily.  
  
And everyone laughed at again.  
  
"But, seriously, I have to say how grateful I am to have Stars' Hollow in my life. A place that has never failed to make me happy. And how wonderful.." she choked up a little here, "...you all are. And I am especially glad to have my daughter and mother with me today to share this. And Luke too, of course," she smiled over at him. "So thank you, friends. And on that teary note, let's crack open the beer!"  
  
No one seemed opposed to that at all.  
  
Lorelai watched then as her friends passed the bottles around from the cooler then wandered over to walk the maze. When she was finally at the patch of lawn in the center, she sat down pensively on a bench to gaze at the bird bath.  
  
"Jackson says that next year we'll have to build one of those high wooden chairs on the perimeter, like a tennis umpire sits on. So people can be guided out if they get lost."  
  
Lorelai put her hand up to shield her eyes from the glow of the setting sun, and Luke's face, bathed in a halo of the light, came into focus.  
  
"I brought you a beer," he added.

"Thanks," she said and reached for it.  
  
He pulled it back at the last moment, "Are you allowed to have beer? I didn't even check first."  
  
"I think one beer will be okay," she smiled.  
  
"If you're sure..."  
  
"I am," she nodded. "Sit down, Luke."  
  
He sat down on the edge of the bench next to her, and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his eyes intent on the ground.  
  
"So," she went on, "I got your message this morning."  
  
He smiled but kept his gaze down, "Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah. And I have to say that your.. method of... delivery... was genius."  
  
"Just an idea I had," he said casually and took a drink of his beer.  
  
"Ummhmm," she said knowingly. "Well, it was... appreciated."  
  
"Good, glad to hear it," he responded and looked at her.  
  
She smiled at him. He smiled back.  
  
"However..." she continued thoughtfully, "I was a little confused as to what you were apologizing for exactly."  
  
"Exactly? Nothing exactly. Just everything, I guess. For wanting to be there, and... not being there, I suppose."  
  
She nodded. "I was fine Luke. I didn't need you." she told him calmly.  
  
He looked right at her, "Bullshit." he said.  
  
She felt her resolve crumble in a rush and turned away to hold back the tears, to press down the lump, to calm her quivering breath. To just get a damn grip.  
  
"Really, Luke. It's been boring at home, that's for certain... And I know you were trying to deal with it all... I was fine," she lied.  
  
"Crap." he said. "You were scared. And you'll probably never admit that to me. But you were. And I was always the 'we'll handle it together' guy, and then I fell apart," his said in disgust and looked away himself.  
  
They both took big drinks of beer then.  
  
"I've missed you," she finally said.  
  
He looked back at her, "How is it you can always forgive?" he asked. "I suck at forgiving. It takes me years to forgive."  
  
She shrugged, "Comes from being a colossal screw-up myself, I guess."  
  
He digested that a moment. "I missed you too," he finally said. "Can I take you home later?"  
  
"Oh Luke, I don't know..." she looked down.  
  
"What? What is it, Lorelai? I know you've forgiven my freak-out. I know we need each other, but I'm feeling like you're pulling back. Do you not trust me? Is that it?" he asked in exasperation.  
  
"Oh Luke, I trust you more than I trust myself, I think," she said sincerely.  
  
"Then what?" he repeated.  
  
"There's just a lot to work out, Luke," she sighed.  
  
"So, let's work it out—together," he insisted.  
  
"I don't know if we can, Luke."  
  
"I do. I know we can..." Lorelai could hear the fear in his voice.  
  
"Look, I'm gonna go home now. It's been a big day." She stood up then and looked down at him. "Thank you for everything you've done here, Luke. 'Bye." she turned to walk back to Rory and her mother then, continuing to walk even after she heard him call after her.  
  
When she got to the food table, she put her hands down on it and leaned a moment, taking a deep breath.  
  
"Oh hey, Sweetie, do you want a piece of cake?" asked Sookie brightly.  
  
"No."  
  
"I've got ice cream here, I just made it inside," she enticed.  
  
"No..."  
  
"How about...?" Sookie was about to try again.  
  
"No Sookie! I don't want anything! Do you get it?!"  
  
"Yeah, I get it," said Sookie, her eyes wide.  
  
Lorelai sighed then and lay her hand atop her friend's, "Sookie, I'm sorry. I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at the way I feel right now... at my situation... Everything you've done is great..."  
  
"Oh, honey, you should have said something sooner.." said Sookie in instant concern. "Emily!" She called Lorelai's mother over. "I think Lorelai needs to go home."  
  
"Oh, I hadn't realized how long we'd been here," said Emily, sizing up the situation immediately. "Rory, come over here!" She turned to the group then and called out; " Listen, everyone, I'm going to take Lorelai home now. Thank you for everything!"  
  
Lorelai heard the irritating murmurs of concern then.  
  
"No, no, she's fine," smiled Emily "I'm the old lady here—I'm a little tired."  
  
Lorelai smiled at her mother for that.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
After riding home in silence, the three Gilmore women alighted from the car and headed up the newly laid path to the house.  
  
"This walk is nice," observed Emily.  
  
Lorelai looked over at her mother. "Mom, it's getting late. Do you want to stay here tonight?" she offered.  
  
"No," smiled Emily, "I promised your father I'd meet him at home. He likes to have me there in the evenings."  
  
"Well, good," smiled Lorelai. "Isn't that good, Rory?"  
  
"That's great," Rory agreed smiling too.  
  
They all turned then to see Luke's truck pull into the driveway. Luke got out and walked angrily over to the group of women at the porch.  
  
"Lorelai," he yelled, "We are not finished!"  
  
He stopped a few feet away from them, eyes glaring.

"Luke, I'm —"  
  
"Tired? Yes, I know that, Lorelai, but you're just going to have to wait a damn minute, before you shut me out again."  
  
"Before _I _shut _you_ out?!" she barked and crossed over to him, her hands on her hips. "Now, that my friend, is rich!"  
  
"I told you I want to be a part of this! That I want you—Us! That we are supposed to face things together now. And I know I screwed up at the beginning, but I'm over that now."  
  
"Well, that's just great!" said Lorelai.  
  
"So you don't walk away when we are talking about things," he told her.  
  
Emily and Rory watched in fascination.  
  
"Luke, I don't know..." Lorelai looked down in frustration.  
  
"What? What don't you know?!" he yelled. "Have you decided that you don't love me anymore? Is that it?"  
  
Lorelai continued to stare at the ground.  
  
"Well, have you?" he continued. "Lorelai, look at me and tell me that you don't love me anymore," he demanded hoarsely.  
  
She looked up and met his eyes, her own full of tears.  
  
"I can't," she said softly.  
  
Luke breathed deeply in relief. "Then what?" he asked. "Tell me what it is, Lorelai, so I can fix it."  
  
"It's me!" she said, crying now, "You can't fix me!"  
  
He stared at her, unable to answer that.  
  
"Mom," Rory interceded gently, "You told me we would handle this as a family," she reminded her.  
  
"Rory," said Lorelai tearfully, "Luke's not..."  
  
"Yes, he is Mom," Rory insisted, "He's been family for a long time now. Why can't he face this with us if he wants to? If he loves you and you love him?" she asked. Lorelai looked down again and then up at Luke.  
  
"Lorelai," she turned her head to Emily's voice now, "I know the last thing you want is my opinion, but I'm going to give it to you, anyway."  
  
Lorelai groaned.  
  
"You have always been independent. Even as a child you were independent. I would lose you all the time because you would go off fearlessly to explore things. You scared the hell out of me all the time. And.. later... when you left with Rory. I was hurt. I wanted to be needed. But I never doubted for a moment that you wouldn't be okay." Lorelai looked up at her mother at that. "But now... Now, as I am facing a different part of my life, I need to share with you... I need to tell you as an older woman, and as your mother that... independence is sometimes... over-rated. And that needing someone... well, it can be the best thing in the world, if it's the right person."  
  
"You want someone to take care of me because I'm sick? Is that it?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"No, I want you to be with someone who you love and who loves you back, and for whom the illness is just a tedious sidebar to be dealt with like—like an annoying mother-in-law," she said ruefully.  
  
"Lorelai," said Luke, "I love you. I do. And I'm sorry you have to deal with feeling crappy. But when it all comes down to it at the end of the day, there is no one else I want to talk to, or be with, or get angry with, or laugh with, than you. And, as far as I can see, that's what it's really all about."  
  
Lorelai smiled through her tears, "It's really 'all about' hanging out?"  
  
"Yep," he nodded, "And finding the absolutely right person to hang out with. There is nothing I want more in my life than that. And the right person for that job, for me, is you. That's all I want."  
  
"You want children," she corrected him. "And I may not be able to do that."  
  
"I never said that," he said.  
  
She shot him a meaningful look at that.  
  
"Well, there are lots of ways to children, if we want that, Lorelai. This isn't some romance novel. We don't have to have an instant nuclear family with a Volvo and a dog." he said, the hope in his voice rising.  
  
"We just have to love each other and 'hang out'?" she clarified.  
  
"Well, there's some other stuff too," he allowed himself a little smile on that.

"Why do I feel like I've just had the granddaddy of all relationship interventions?" she said in exasperation and crossed to sit on the porch steps. She put her head down to think a moment.  
  
When she lifted it, she looked at him clear-eyed, "What do you want, Luke?" she asked him.  
  
"You," he said without hesitation.  
  
"No, I mean what do you want _specifically_?"  
  
"Oh." he nodded in understanding. He ran his hand over his face and looked at the three expectant women before him. He lifted his head and looked back at her. "I want in on this family," he said. "I want to be here every day. And when Rory goes back to school, I want to move in. I want you to count on me. I want to count on you. I want to be more for Rory too. And if you can accept all that, and get used to me too... then I want you to consider me seriously... for the long term," he expelled a breath after that.  
  
Lorelai stared at him quietly.  
  
"But... your apartment... you love your apartment...."  
  
"I don't give a damn about that apartment," he said. "And, frankly, this house needs me even if you don't."  
  
Lorelai looked down, "Wow." was all she could get out.  
  
"Quit stalling, Lorelai," he commanded.  
  
She looked up once again. "Will you make me coffee every morning?"  
  
"Will you shut the hell up when I watch your stupid movies?" he countered.  
  
Emily and Rory looked back and forth between them, transfixed.  
  
"Answer, Mom! Before I have a frickin' heart attack," yelled Rory.  
  
"What do you think, Rory?" she asked her daughter with a smile.  
  
Rory rolled her eyes. "Quit stalling, Mom."  
  
Lorelai smiled and looked at Luke then. "I love you so much," she said.  
  
"Took you long enough," he groused in return.  
  
She stood up and walked over to him then. They stared at each other for a moment, a sort of challenge, small smiles playing around their mouths, before he reached over and pulled her to him.  
  
"Rory, go pack a bag, you're coming to Hartford with me tonight. Leave your mother a note." whispered Emily as she slipped away to her car.  
  
Lorelai and Luke were too occupied to notice.


	21. Chapter XXI

"So where did we land on that coffee every morning thing?" she asked when they came up for air.  
  
"Where did we land on the shutting up during movies thing?" he countered circling his fingers around on her lower back.  
  
"Hmm..." she shivered at the touch as she pretended to reflect, but was distracted when she noticed Rory getting into Emily's car. "Hey," she called and walked over to them. "Where are you going?" she asked through the passenger window.  
  
"Um... Grandma and I thought..."  
  
"Yes?" asked Lorelai, brow raised.  
  
"Rory is going to stay in Hartford with us tonight," Emily leaned over from the steering wheel to tell her.  
  
"I see," paused Lorelai. "Rory, I don't think this is a good idea. I don't want you to feel like you have to leave your home because Luke and I... well, because Luke and I are..."  
  
"Mom, I just thought you might like some time together," tried Rory.  
  
"I think it's really for the best, Lorelai," said Emily.  
  
"Well, Mom, I... appreciate... the thought, but I don't really feel comfortable with..." Lorelai began in irritation.  
  
"Mom, do you want me to stay?" asked Rory.  
  
"Do you want to go?" Lorelai asked her.  
  
"I don't know," shrugged Rory, "I just thought it was something nice to do for you."  
  
They paused and Lorelai took a deep breath and tried to give in to the fact that this wasn't an important point. They were trying to do something for her. And she realized that you can't say to the people you love—'Stop doing things for me! I just want to do something for myself again!'  
  
She felt then too, on a deep level that she was trying to hold on to something...And that it was that same something she sought so long ago when she ran off to The Independence Inn... she didn't know what it was exactly, but she did know that she'd had it for years now. But here it was slipping away, that something, and she wasn't really sure if she wanted it gone yet.  
  
She realized though in a flash of wonder as she looked before her: There is my grown up daughter, and there is my mother who is just happy to help, and here I am nearly forty and, ah crap, what does it matter any more?  
  
And she was so tired... and that gave her a hollow kind of feeling  
  
Lorelai sighed and gave in, because change is just going to happen, "All right, have a good time. I'll see you after work tomorrow?"  
  
Might as well be dignified in the face of it all. Adult Inn owners can't snatch their children out of their grandmother's cars and shout, 'Mine! Mine! Mine! This is my daughter—I'm keeping her here! I won't share! And I'm not going to be ill anymore. And I can just do it all myself, thank you very much!'  
  
Rory smiled and just said, "Sure. I love you, Mom." as if a huge tectonic shift hadn't just taken place in Lorelai's world.  
  
She did notice however that Emily breathed a little easier.  
  
And so Lorelai did as she ought (and, truth be told, what she wanted too) and turned back to look at Luke, who was waiting for her.  
  
She walked back to his side then and they watched the car pull out of the drive.  
  
"They were trying to be considerate, Lorelai," he told her.  
  
"I know," she nodded, "I just... I just don't feel like I have any..."  
  
"Control?" he smiled at her.  
  
"Yeah," she smiled sheepishly in return.  
  
"That's what comes of having so much help," he winked at her.  
  
"Yeah, and you're the expert on accepting help," she said sarcastically as they walked into the house.  
  
"Well, I'm legendary for trying to give it, anyway, wanted or un-," he told her as they sat down on the couch.  
  
"Yes, you are," she agreed and leaned into his arms. "But, I wonder what you get out of it..." she said with a yawn.  
  
"This," he said simply, and breathed in her hair as he wrapped his arms around her. She reached over then and picked up the TV remote and handed it to him. He switched on the game as she snuggled in.  
  
In a moment, she was asleep.  
  
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
She awoke to a clattering noise and a subsequent muffled, "Crap! Crap! Crap!" out of Luke from downstairs.  
  
She squinted at the clock, it said six.  
  
She got out of bed groggily, the dim memory of coming up to take a shower with Luke last night before he tucked her in, returning to her as she walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.  
  
"What the hell?" she asked as she looked about her. Every cupboard was open, every dish and pan and pot out on a counter, stacked on the table, or piled on a chair.  
  
He looked up from where he was kneeling and added the last 'Tanya Roberts' to the stack in his hand.  
  
"Oh? Did I wake you?" he asked as he set the dishes back on the table.  
  
"No, not at all," she shook her head.  
  
"Good," he said as he pulled open a drawer and began surveying the contents.  
  
She leaned against the kitchen entrance and crossed her arms over her chest, "Luke, I was being sarcastic."  
  
"Oh," he nodded absently. "Lorelai, you have no spatula," he reported and looked over at her.  
  
"You needed to loot my entire kitchen in the middle of the night to determine that?"  
  
"You have no spatula," he shook his head in amazement. "You have four ladles shaped like farm animals, but no spatula."  
  
"Point?" she asked.  
  
He looked up at her again, "You need a spatula."  
  
"Well, good thing my birthday is coming up."  
  
"I can't believe I'm going to say this..." Luke began as he looked around at the junkyard that was her kitchen.  
  
"What?"  
  
"When you're better, we're going to have to go shopping," his said in dismay.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::  
  
It was lunchtime, Luke was long gone to the diner and Lorelai lay fretfully in bed. What did it all mean—the yelling, the cuddling, the Rory going to Hartford, the something that was slipping away, the kitchen raid at dawn? She guessed it meant that Luke was here now. And to stay, she decided.  
  
And now for the big question: How did she feel about that?  
  
The answer, surprisingly: Not freaked.  
  
Hmmm... Not freaked at all. Happy, in fact. Yes, she was happy about it. About Luke. About Luke easing into her life. Well, okay, it hadn't been easy at the beginning, not at all. But the sitting on the couch, the sleeping in his arms, the shower, even the watching him inventory her kitchen—all that had been remarkably easy. And, she reflected, maybe as it should be.  
  
She heard the door open downstairs then and listened as his familiar sure step climbed the stairs. And smiled when his baseball-hatted head poked into the room to look at her.  
  
"Hey," he smiled. "I brought you lunch."  
  
"Come here," she invited. He stepped over to sit next to her on the bed.  
  
"How are you feeling?" he asked.  
  
She sat up and ran her fingers up under his hat, knocking it off onto the floor. She pulled his face close, leaned in and ran her tongue over his lower lip. He moaned and put his hands around her waist, slipping them up under her shirt to stroke her back.  
  
She pulled him down on top of her then and put her lips to his ear, "You tell me... How do I feel?" she whispered before gently nibbling his earlobe...  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
They lay happy together, her head on his shoulder, his hand stroking the curve where her waist met her hip.  
  
"I don't want to stop this," he said.  
  
"Well, I do need my rest and you should probably get back to the diner," she smiled.  
  
"No, I mean this... Us. Me and you. Everything I said yesterday... You understand, right?"  
  
"Yes, I understand, Luke," she said softly.  
  
"So, when Rory goes back to school?" he asked, the hope in his voice plain.  
  
"Yes. When Rory goes back to school, we inventory the flannel and try to find room for it in here somewhere."  
  
He sighed. "And later?" he asked.  
  
"I can't wait for later," she told him with a smile.  
  
"Well, good," he let out a breath in relief.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
She hung up the phone, the calls made. Friday night dinner would be at her house tonight, all five of them, with Luke as the caterer. She smiled at that. Okay, she thought, I can do this. I can have my parents here, I can love Luke, I can run an Inn, I can be Rory's Mom. I can do this. I've had my rest today. Michel says the Jane Austen people are all checked in. Life is good. Under control.  
  
She smiled happily at that. And then went downstairs to open out the kitchen table and pull in another chair.  
  
Luke arrived shortly thereafter with bags and bags of food to be ferried in from the truck.  
  
"Luke, this is a helluva lot of food for a couple of Waspy old people," she said with a laugh.  
  
"Well, I have to feed you and Rory, too," he dead panned.  
  
"Good point," she acknowledged.  
  
"Yes, you do!" said Rory as she came in as well. "And what are you feeding Rory tonight?" she asked as she hungrily nosed into a bag.  
  
"Out!" commanded Luke as he began unpacking containers.  
  
"Touchy!" said Rory to her mother.  
  
"You should hear him go off on the spatula situation," Lorelai agreed.  
  
Both women sat down at the table then to watch Luke work his magic.  
  
"He really is an artist," observed Rory in awe as Luke put a pot roast in the oven to warm up.  
  
"Tell me about it," said Lorelai dreamily, her chin in her hand.  
  
"I'm right here, you know," Luke rolled his eyes.

"Yes, you are! In my kitchen where you belong! Who says wishes can't come true?" declared Lorelai.  
  
Luke secretly smiled at that. But Lorelai and Rory caught it and exchanged a smile themselves.  
  
"The real question is, why didn't we get him here a long time ago?" queried Rory.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
They all sat in the kitchen, finishing up with pie and coffee.  
  
"Well, Luke," said Richard, "I have to say that I believe your pot roast may be better than your meat loaf."  
  
"And your coffee really is quite delicious," added Emily with a smile.  
  
"Well, thank you. Glad you liked it," said Luke a little self-consciously as he moved to clear the table.  
  
Rory hopped up to help, but turned the other way when the phone rang.  
  
"Mom!" she called, "It's Michel!"  
  
Lorelai walked to the phone. "Hello?—Okay.----Did you--?----Okay. Okay.----- She what?----Yes, my ears are perfectly fine, Michel. But why would she do that?----All right. Calm down. Listen, I'll be right over and figure it out.----Well, I'll do it myself if I have to, it won't be the first time."  
  
Lorelai hung up and turned back to the eavesdropping group in the kitchen with a frown.  
  
"Problem?" asked Luke.  
  
"The maid quit. There's no one to do turn-down service tonight, or clean the rooms in the morning," she said as she turned to walk into the living room.  
  
Luke followed her through just in time to see her picking up her purse.  
  
"What do you think you're doing?" he asked.  
  
"I'm going to the Inn to take care of it," said Lorelai as she dug through her purse to find her keys.  
  
"No you're not," he told her.  
  
She looked up at him, trying to decide her best strategy, finally landing on reason, "Luke, the Jane Austen people are important clients, I need to take care of this. This is mine and Rory's livelihood."  
  
"No, Lorelai, the doctor said rest until Monday when you have your test again, and then she'd reevaluate your situation," he said and put his hands on his hips.  
  
"Luke... I have to do this. Michel is manning the desk and running their banquet tonight. You and Rory are due at the diner in twenty minutes so Lane can play her gig... I'm—"she pleaded.  
  
"I'll go and take of it."  
  
Lorelai turned to her mother. "Mom," she laughed, "I appreciate..."  
  
"Don't dismiss me, Lorelai," said Emily haughtily. "Your father and I will go over and take care of it."  
  
"Mom, what are you going to do? Clean the rooms?" she asked incredulously.  
  
"If I have to!" sniffed Emily.  
  
"Mom..."  
  
"I don't really see that you have a choice, Lorelai," she added airily. "You need me to help you out."  
  
Lorelai opened her mouth, then shut it again. "Maybe I could call Kirk...?" she tried lamely.  
  
"He's working security patrol tonight," chimed in Rory. "Mom, let Grandma and Grandpa take care of it."  
  
"But..." Lorelai was panicking a little now.  
  
"Lorelai, just let go... And let them do it," Luke added gently.  
  
"Lorelai, I admire your professionalism," began her father as he walked over to her. "But you must acknowledge that we are all right in this situation and allow your mother and I to take care of this. You can't endanger your health cleaning rooms."  
  
They all turned to look at her expectantly.  
  
She looked into each of their faces and saw the same resolve. She turned away then and walked to the window to breathe a moment. Why was this so hard?  
  
She turned back to them, lifted her chin, her eyes a little bright now, "I can't really afford a temp right now and there's no agency in Stars' Hollow... not that we could get anyone tonight, anyway..."  
  
"Lorelai," said Emily, "I will take care of it."  
  
She looked at her mother a moment, "Well... Thank you," she said and sat down in the arm chair.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Later that night she sat up in bed punching grumpily at the keys of her laptop, when she heard the door open downstairs. She looked up a moment later to see Rory come in and plop on the bed next to her.  
  
"Here," she said, handing her mother a bag, "Day old danish."  
  
"Thanks," said Lorelai without enthusiasm. "Any good tippers tonight?"  
  
"Kirk came in to get coffee and gave me five dollars," Rory informed her.  
  
"Wow, what came over him?" said Lorelai caught up in surprise at that despite herself.  
  
"Oh, he was grateful. Plus he's richer now."  
  
"Grateful? For the coffee?"  
  
"No, I think because I helped him out."  
  
"How did you do that?" her mother asked.  
  
"Oh, he is trying to figure out how to... proceed with Lulu, as he puts it. He wants to propose or something. So, anyway, I lent him the book."  
  
"The book?" asked Lorelai in dread.  
  
"Yeah, I gave it to him the other day. He said it's really helping."  
  
Lorelai couldn't think of a single thing to say in response to that.  
  
"So, what have you been doing?" Rory asked her.  
  
"Um, trying to find online support groups for women who are forced to relinquish control of their lives to their mothers. No luck so far. I'm thinking maybe I should start one. How does OhJustGiveUpAndLetThemDoItAlready! dot com sound?  
  
"Unrealistic."  
  
"Yeah," agreed Lorelai. "So now I'm just deleting all the emails from those who want me to have Ronald Reagan memorabilia or have my penis enlarged."  
  
"There's a disturbing thought," frowned Rory.  
  
"What?" asked Lorelai as she hit delete yet again.  
  
"Do any of them offer to do both?"  
  
"At the same time?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Well, I suppose that would depend on how you feel about Ronald Reagan," reasoned Lorelai.


	22. Chapter XXII

Lorelai hung up the phone with a sigh the following morning.  
  
Okay, it could have been worse, she told herself. According to Michel, the Jane Austen people were very happy with everything. Of course it had all been resolved in a typically Emily fashion, she having called in every DAR obligation she had. What were the ladies-who-lunch in Hartford going to do without their maids this weekend? she wondered glumly. It could almost amuse her, and maybe it would someday, but not today. She shuddered a little over the close call but had to hand it to her mother for mobilizing the troops (or in this case, the troops' maids;) scheduling them in shifts, and arranging with her own employment agency contact, (a beleaguered woman to whom Richard had his secretary send a case of champagne every Christmas,) for a round of fresh maid prospects to arrive on Monday afternoon to endure Michel's scrupulous interviewing process.  
  
Actually, her mother had handled it really well. Emily was even going to throw some business Lorelai's way, and was already talking to Michel about setting up some meetings of her various groups and organizations at The Dragonfly.  
  
So Lorelai sighed again. She had been good. She had been mature. She had sincerely expressed her gratitude to Emily over the phone. And Emily had been gracious, truly happy to have helped, to have been involved.  
  
So why did she feel so damn pissy then?  
  
She grabbed her book and went out to the hammock Luke had set up, kicked down, and set up again, climbed in, and just tried to shake it off.  
  
Not much success though.  
  
When Rory found her at lunch time, she was spooning Ben & Jerry's into her mouth. Stabbing the spoon in for a scoop, then licking it off slowly while staring into space. Rory tried to plop down in the hammock with her, but Lorelai waved her off.  
  
"No, no," she pleaded, "No more rocking..." she leaned back gingerly and stabbed her spoon back into the tub.  
  
"Does it make you dizzy?" asked Rory sympathetically.  
  
Lorelai shrugged, "a little."  
  
Rory pulled up a nearby lawn chair instead and eyed her mother, "You didn't go out to get that ice cream, did you?"  
  
"No, Mom. Babette came by on her way to the market and asked if I wanted anything."  
  
Rory nodded. "So aren't you going to ask?"  
  
"Ask what?"  
  
"How I'm feeling?" said Lorelai a bit sourly. "It's the universal question."  
  
"Oh, how are you feeling?" Rory played along.  
  
"Well, you know that scene in Mary Poppins where they're all having so much fun they dance on the rooftops of London?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, not like that."  
  
They paused and Lorelai stabbed her spoon in again.  
  
"Well, Emily took care of things, just like she said she would," said Lorelai finally.  
  
Rory nodded, "Yeah, I know. She called me and told me all about it. She's very proud of herself. It's cute."  
  
"Yep," Lorelai agreed.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Is Luke coming by tonight?" Rory asked to change the subject.  
  
"No, he's closing tonight and opening tomorrow. He wants to take Monday off."  
  
"He's going with us to the hospital?" asked Rory in surprise.  
  
"He thinks he is," said Lorelai darkly.  
  
"Mom, if he wants to go, you should let him."  
  
"Rory, I don't want anyone to go. I'm only letting you come because they won't let me drive home when it's over."  
  
"I don't understand why you don't want us all there. I mean I'm trying to..."  
  
"I know. I don't think I can explain it really," said Lorelai. Then, "I'm sorry, honey. I'm in a bad mood."

"That's okay. I think it's understandable given the circumstances," said Rory.  
  
"I know I shouldn't be feeling this way. Everything is going well, all things considered, really: Luke is doing better, you're doing better, Richard and Emily are doing better, The Dragonfly is doing better, I'm doing..." she broke off there. "...I think I'm going nuts," she finally added with another vicious stab at her ice cream.  
  
Rory lifted her brow at the final comment.  
  
"Don't even..." said Lorelai in warning.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Sunday morning Lorelai decided to snap herself out of it with a Monty Python marathon, but when even the Lumberjack song didn't lift her spirits, she gave up on that.  
  
When Luke finally came over in the early evening, he found her on the floor inside the bedroom closet sorting out shoes. He looked about; The seeming entire contents of her closet were laid out about the room.  
  
He poked his head in. "Hey."  
  
She looked up and tried to smile, "Hey. I didn't think I'd see you so early."  
  
He sat down on the floor as well. "Yeah, well it was slow tonight and I've got both Lane and Rory on, so...."  
  
"I'm glad you came," she told him sincerely.  
  
They paused a moment.  
  
"So I'm thinking the beloved blue dress sandals have seen their best day," Lorelai reflected over a pair of shoes.  
  
"You have had them for a long time," he nodded.  
  
They paused again.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked gently.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"  
  
"No reason."  
  
"Uh huh," she doubted. "Okay," he caved, "Rory said that earlier you seemed..."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"That you seemed a little, I don't know..." he looked down at the floor.  
  
"So you came over early?" she asked.  
  
He looked up at her and nodded. "I thought we could watch a movie or play scrabble, or something..."  
  
She looked back at him.  
  
"Don't do that," she said quietly.  
  
"What?" he asked, truly not knowing.  
  
"Be so selfless," she stated irrationally.  
  
He looked at her.  
  
"Lorelai..." he began.  
  
She got up and walked past him with the blue sandals in hand and stuffed them into a clean trash bag with the other cast-offs on the bed.  
  
"So how many flannel shirts do you think you have, anyway?" she asked with her back to him.  
  
He sighed, got up and walked over to sit on the bed and look up at her.  
  
"No idea," he told her.  
  
Lorelai began folding some old t-shirts. "I counted twelve earlier that I could specifically remember," she reported without looking at him.  
  
"Really?" he said.  
  
"Don't sound so surprised," she snapped, "you knew how long I'd had those shoes."  
  
"Lorelai, what the hell is going on?" he finally blurted out.  
  
"Nothing. Nothing is going on," she told him and moved to the other side of the bed to fold pants.  
  
Luke stood up and looked at her.  
  
"I've got to make room in the closet for your stuff," she went on. "And you actually have a lot of clothes, believe it or not. And I have a small closet. I'm just trying to figure out where to put everything. I don't think I have room."  
  
"Well, we could get a wardrobe or something," he tried. "Something nice from Mrs. Kim maybe."  
  
"I'm not sure I have room," she repeated then eyed him, "That is, if you still want to move in."  
  
"What do you mean if I still want to move in?" he demanded, angry now.  
  
"Just what I said."  
  
"Lorelai, you're not being yourself...." he said in exasperation. "I thought we'd agreed that I was moving in."  
  
"I just want to make sure that it's still what you want... I mean without the closet space, and the spatula situation being what it is and all."  
  
He stared at her.  
  
"Don't you want me to move in?" he asked gruffly.  
  
She knew he was hurt but for some reason couldn't care right now. "That's not what we're talking about... I'm concerned about there being enough room."  
  
"Lorelai, if you don't want me to move in... I don't know what to say," he sat back down on the bed, his back to her.  
  
"Well, maybe you can find a book to give you the answer," she said waspishly and grabbed a stack of sweaters.  
  
He stood up and spun to face her. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" She stopped what she was doing and looked down at that. "I'm trying Lorelai, I really am. It's not being selfless... It's you... I've never stepped up before in this way. I'm not young. I have my ways, I know that. But I can buy a spatula, I can build a closet... I'm willing to do all that. For Godsake, I... I couldn't even stand the way Nicole folded the towels. I mean, she didn't even fold them, she rolled them up, like little sleeping bags, because it looked nice... How crazy is that?!" he yelled. "But you could hang them on a Christmas tree for all I care!... I don't know how else to make it clear... except to say I don't care what you do with your towels as long as they are _our_ towels... So I repeat, What the hell is the matter with you?!"  
  
"I have this little heart thing," she mumbled sarcastically, still looking down.  
  
Luke sighed and looked at her.  
  
"I'm coming with you tomorrow and it's going to be fine," he told her.  
  
She lifted her eyes to look at him, "You don't know that."  
  
"No, I guess not. But I'm still coming. And I still don't care how you fold your towels."  
  
She met his eyes.  
  
"I usually don't fold them. I usually walk dripping wet and naked down the hall to get one out of the dryer."  
  
"Then I'll fold the towels," he said drily, but then added, "On second thought, no I won't. I'll just watch you go get one."  
  
They paused and looked at each other, eyes a little bright.  
  
"So, how many flannel shirts do you have?" she asked again.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Early the next morning, the three of them sat in a row in the Out-Patient Admitting room. Three take-out cups from Luke's in hand, one per person. Rory and Luke, each a-flank of Lorelai, sat with lips pursed thin.  
  
Lorelai bubbled on. "So why did the elephant paint his toes green?" she asked.  
  
"I don't know," grumped Rory in a monotonous tone.  
  
"So he could tip-toe across the pool table!" Lorelai sang out.  
  
Luke and Rory continued staring straight ahead.  
  
"Okay, okay.." said Lorelai taking on the challenge. "How did the elephant hide in the grape arbor?"  
  
Rory sighed at this.  
  
"He painted his balls green. Have you ever seen an elephant in a grape arbor?"  
  
Rory turned to look at her mother then, "If you continue this... And especially if you start in on elephant footprints in peanut butter next, you will not survive to have your heart tested again. Capiche?"  
  
"Jeez," snorted Lorelai, "Elephant crawl up your butt?"  
  
"I'm going to go ask the nurse how much longer we have to wait," said Luke rising.  
  
Lorelai laid her hand on his forearm and pulled him back down.  
  
"Luke, you have already harassed that woman enough. Do you really need a restraining order limiting your freedom at this point in your life? Just relax. They'll be ready when they are ready."

"It's just..." he tried to explain his frustration.  
  
"I know. I know. Maybe you should go home," Lorelai said sympathetically. "Seriously, Luke, Rory and I will be fine. I know how you feel about hospitals."  
  
Luke crossed his arms and set his chin. "I'm not leaving."  
  
"All right. All right," soothed Lorelai.  
  
"Maybe I should go try to find us some more coffee," offered Rory.  
  
"Honey, just sit still. They will call us in soon. I wasn't even supposed to have this cup I just had before the test."  
  
"Lorelai!" barked Luke at that.  
  
"Mom!" Rory added her indignation.  
  
"So, how do you know an elephant's been in your refrigerator?" asked Lorelai brightly.  
  
They stared at her darkly.  
  
"Oh come on! Okay this one is a little tricky, I admit it. I'll give you a hint: Nothing on the elephant is painted green."  
  
Rory tried a different tack and picked up the small periodical on the table next to her.  
  
"Mom," she said patiently, "If you are quiet and good, I will let you have this _Reader's Digest_," she lured.  
  
Lorelai gasped in delight, "No! Isn't that the magazine with...?"  
  
"Yes," nodded Rory, "_Laughter is the Best Medicine_, that's right."  
  
"Gimme! Gimme!" Lorelai reached for it.  
  
"Lorelai!" they all three looked up. "Here you are!" said Emily puffing in her hurry to get to them, Richard in tow.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" asked Lorelai in surprise.  
  
"You didn't think we were going to wait at home by the phone to find out if your heart had stopped, do you?" she demanded in indignation.  
  
"Mom..." Lorelai began wearily.  
  
"Don't you Mom me, young lady. Could you sit at home if Rory were here?"  
  
Lorelai looked over at Luke, begging silently for help. He merely shrugged.  
  
"Mom, I'm an adult, I wanted to do this myself," Lorelai tried to explain.  
  
"I see," said Emily icily. "I am trying, Lorelai. I am trying to respect your ways. I helped with the Inn. I have not criticized your home, or your pornography-pushing friends, " She stared down at her daughter, eyes ablaze.  
  
Lorelai shifted uncomfortably. "I know, Mom, you did, you have, and I'm grateful..."  
  
"But you still don't want me around, is that it?"  
  
"No!" Lorelai tried. "That's not it..."  
  
"Well, what? What is it?"  
  
"Emily, she just wants some privacy," said Richard, though the hurt was evident in his voice as well.  
  
"You don't get privacy from your mother, Richard," Emily barked at him.  
  
"Mom, you've been great through all this, you really have... I just... I feel like I don't have anything any more of my own any more..." Lorelai tried.  
  
"That's ridiculous, Lorelai! You have everything in the world right now, except your health. And that is the one thing..." Emily broke off, tears in her eyes, "That is the one thing I can't buy you, even if you would let me! Which you wouldn't!"  
  
They all looked at Emily now. She was crying. Lorelai couldn't remember having ever seen that before. Even when she'd announced her pregnancy at sixteen—then she'd watched her mother go white with fury, then silent with disappointment. The Emily before her now was scared.  
  
Lorelai stood up, "Mom... I'm sorry," she said gently.  
  
"Lorelai Gilmore!"  
  
They all turned their heads to the nurse's call then.  
  
"Well, gotta go," Lorelai smiled at them all.  
  
Rory hopped up to hug and kiss her mother. Luke stood as well, she met his eyes before he pulled her into a hug.  
  
"He leaves footsteps in the peanut butter," she whispered in his ear.  
  
"I'll remember that," he whispered back before she turned to follow the nurse.


	23. Chapter XXIII

"Wait a minute!" called Luke and hurried over to where Lorelai had just met the nurse.  
  
"Can I come with her?" he asked.  
  
She looked doubtful.  
  
"Luke, you don't need to," Lorelai assured him.  
  
"I want to," he said.  
  
"No you don't," smiled Lorelai.  
  
"No, I don't," he agreed, "But I do. I want to." He looked at her meaningfully.  
  
They both turned back to the nurse then, the question in their eyes.  
  
"Well, Dr.Sherman usually doesn't allow other people in during testing..."  
  
"In case something goes wrong?" asked Lorelai knowingly.  
  
Luke's eyes widened at that.  
  
"It just isn't his policy," said the nurse primly.  
  
"I'm coming," said Luke decidedly.  
  
Lorelai looked at him and then back at the nurse and made a decision. She flashed one of her signature smiles, "You know, I really understand the whole policy thing," she glanced at the woman's badge, "...Sheila, but maybe you could talk to the doctor?" she upped the wattage a little. "I can guarantee you that if this guy is left here in the waiting room, he'll just make a nuisance of himself asking you for updates every three minutes," she leaned in a little, "You know how awful men can be, I'm sure they bother you all the time."  
  
The nurse smiled a little at that and weakened, looking at Lorelai, "Well... he is a family member, right?"  
  
Oops.  
  
"I'm her fiancee," said Luke without missing a beat. Lorelai looked at him sideways at that.  
  
Sheila melted a bit more, "Oh, it's so nice to see a supportive man these days," she sighed.  
  
Luke adopted a noble mein. "Well, I'm trying."  
  
Lorelai almost laughed. Almost.  
  
"Come on back. I'll fix it for you."  
  
"Thank you," said Luke with slightly exaggerated solemnity.  
  
He grabbed Lorelai's hand then as she gave a quick wave to a smiling Rory. Then they followed the nurse through the open door and down a hall. She stole a look at him then. He looked back and winked a triumphant wink at her.  
  
She had to smile at that.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"...elephant..." she mumbled.  
  
"Lorelai."  
  
"...coffee...."  
  
"Lorelai."  
  
"...Hostess fruit pies..."  
  
"Lorelai!"  
  
She opened her eyes. She could feel that she was still on the tilt table. Only now the restraints were gone and she was prone once more. She looked at the doctor to one side of her and Luke on the other. Then down at the back of her hand where the nurse was withdrawing the IV.  
  
"Ouch! What happened?"  
  
"You threw up and then fainted after seventeen minutes, at seventy degrees," the doctor informed her as he looked down at the chart.  
  
"Hmmm...Pretty sexy of me," she mumbled. "So what does that mean?"  
  
"It means that your heart did not stop, which is good. It also means that we probably need to adjust your medication a little since you did faint. Once you've been on it for awhile, we will need to test you again. Our goal is to keep your heart rate and blood pressure at a level where you remain conscious. Dr. Steiner will be by in awhile to discuss it with you."  
  
"Okay," she nodded.  
  
"And Lorelai," the doctor leaned in.

"Yes?"  
  
"Next time don't drink coffee before the test."  
  
"Right."  
  
The nurse and doctor left her to rest awhile then to go talk to her parents and Rory.  
  
She looked over at Luke. He looked a little green.  
  
"Are you okay?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," he nodded.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm fine."  
  
"Okay," she said doubtfully.  
  
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
They were all in the recovery room now, waiting for Dr. Steiner.  
  
"Come on dad, I've told my elephant jokes, Mom related a witty anecdote about Molly Pitcher, Luke refuses to say anything but it's just funny to look at his face when we tease him about it, so that's his contribution... You've got to tell a joke, too," she demanded.  
  
"Lorelai, I don't tell jokes."  
  
"You must know one... not even a knock-knock?" she whined from her bed.  
  
"It seems to me that Rory hasn't made a contribution to your insatiable need for entertainment," Richard evaded.  
  
It worked. All eyes were on Rory now.  
  
"Got anything funny to relate from Yale, Rory? I mean other than the poor stuffed bulldog?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"The only thing I can think of is a bit from Dorothy Parker and her time at the Algonquin round table..." said Rory dubiously.  
  
"Goody!" clapped Lorelai.  
  
"But it's not really a joke."  
  
"That's all right, Rory," comforted Richard, "Something literary would be refreshing after the elephant who drank lime juice," he assured her.  
  
"Tomato juice," said Lorelai indignantly.  
  
"All right, all right, just to keep the peace then..." Rory interceded. They all waited. "It seems that Dorothy Parker and her various literary and inebriate cronies were playing a word game..." she began.  
  
They all nodded.  
  
"They were throwing out words to each other, then making up funny definitions or word plays with the words tossed out."  
  
"Right," said Lorelai in eager anticipation.  
  
"So someone, maybe Benchley, I don't know who, says 'Horticulture' and they were all just silent and stumped."  
  
"Yes, yes..."  
  
"Until suddenly Dorothy Parker blurts out: 'Horticulture: You can lead a Whore-to-Culture, but you can't make her Think!'" said Rory, her punch line delivered, she lowered her head.  
  
"Rory!" gasped Emily somewhat in shock and then they all dissolved into laughter.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"...So I would say, return to your life as normally as possible. Be aware that you may very well have periods where you are dizzy or fatigued and need to rest. So pace yourself, don't push it. We'll see how you do on the meds and then in a month, I want you to come back in for another test," finished up the doctor.  
  
Lorelai sighed, "So, no magic cure?"  
  
"I'm afraid not," said Dr. Steiner sympathetically. "You will have times when you are unwell and this does lead to depression in some. It can be hard to let go of a little independence, but in the grand scheme of things, we can manage this. With medication you should not faint or experience cardiac arrest."  
  
Lorelai nodded and looked down, "I just hoped..."  
  
The doctor nodded in understanding, "Yeah, I wish I could clear it all up with an artfully applied bandaid or miracle drug like a TV show, but I can't. Of course, I also wish I was one of those TV doctors who is seven feet tall, blonde, and wears Manolos to work in the hospital, but that's not going to happen either."  
  
"Bummer," nodded Lorelai in understanding. "So doc," she added after a moment, "Know any good jokes?"  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Wow.  
  
She looked down at him now as he rolled her up above. This was the first time they had really made love. They'd had several encounters of hot- college-athletic-type sex, but this was slow and in the evening light, with their eyes wide open.  
  
They had come home from the hospital, and Rory had gone off to the evening shift at the diner with Lane. Once she was gone, Lorelai led Luke quietly upstairs.  
  
"Lorelai, we don't need to..." he'd said.  
  
"I want to, Luke."  
  
"You've been through the mill today."  
  
"You're just the medicine I need." she'd said.  
  
So they'd taken their time undressing one another gently. Luke had lifted her hand then and tenderly kissed the bruises where the IV had been, murmuring private words, stroking all the while. It was so much more this way. This slow, open-eyed way. This way that wasn't about youth and hormones, but about a terrifyingly important connection. A joining. The surety that this was it. There would never be another one for either, not this way. Not because there couldn't be, but because a silent mutual decision had been made.  
  
And here she was gloriously above him. That's how he made her feel anyway.  
  
She saw him watch her, taking in the arch of her back.  
  
He slipped his hand between them then and said her name.  
  
She caught her breath and moaned, moving more rapidly now, keeping her eyes locked with his, even when he rolled her back over...  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"That was great!" he flashed a rare smile at her. She lifted her brows in amusement.  
  
"Yeah, that's kind of a dorky thing to say, isn't it?" he flushed.  
  
She laughed. "Yeah, it was a little 'I can't believe she's letting me do this' adolescent guy kind of thing."  
  
"Sorry," he smiled.  
  
"Don't be, it was great. You're great."  
  
"So are you. But that was..." he broke off.  
  
"I think they call it 'making love,'" she said and lay her head on his chest to listen to his heart.  
  
"I'd never... I'd never really thought about there being a difference before..."  
  
"Me either," she sighed.  
  
They lay quietly thinking about the enormity of the thing between them, of beginnings where no endings were planned, or assumed, and how thinking about it all, in the permanent tense was pretty damn big.  
  
"You okay?" he asked into her hair later.  
  
"I am very okay," she whispered. "Just tired."  
  
He nodded.  
  
"How about you?" she asked.  
  
"I am feeling dangerously close to the 'whole package' here," he admitted.  
  
"Oh right, I remember we've talked about that. The whole package. Huh. Scary."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"But great," she snuggled deeper in his arms, breathing him in.  
  
"Yep again," he paused a moment, "If only..."  
  
Lorelai lifted her eyes to meet his, "Luke, you heard what the doctor said: No magic cures. This is the way I am now."  
  
He nodded and swallowed. "I hate it... It makes me... sad..."

"I know. Me too. But I think we can handle it. It's not _who_ I am. We are so lucky, you know. We have so much. I don't want to be depressed about it. I want to live my life and watch TV and go to my beautiful Inn, and eat hamburgers, and have sex..."  
  
"Nice order of priorities you have there," he remarked drily.  
  
She laughed. "Hey, you knew before coming in..."  
  
He nodded, "God help me but I did."  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Much later, after Luke left and Rory had come up to check on her and tell her good night, and she'd been asleep awhile was when she had the dream.  
  
It was five when she looked at the clock. She sat up in bed and hugged her knees close, trying to remember it all...  
  
They had all been there, every last one of them, she knew that, even Richard and Emily. Kirk and little Davey too—all of them. And they had been at the Inn, walking the maze and laughing.. And then somehow she had swooped home to her room and she was watching Luke folding towels and Rory had been there and said she wanted to pick the name and what about Willa if it were a girl?—for Luke's mother's maiden name Williams, and for Willa Cather, her favorite writer... And Lorelai had said if Gwyneth Paltrow could pick Apple, then she could pick Tangerine or better yet, Chocolate, or maybe Brownie... And then she and Luke were at the diner then, she at the counter and he pouring coffee, and she knew somehow that Rory was at Yale...  
  
And that was it.  
  
That was the dream. Not much but it had felt good. It had been a relief. No feeling of missing pieces or being scared. Just being together and coffee. And being happy.  
  
She hugged her knees and sighed again and wondered if it was just a little too early to call Luke.


	24. Chapter XXIV

And then she remembered that she was a free woman!  
  
House arrest over! She was on probation! Out on the loose! She should celebrate! Get a tattoo! Go on a bender! Hit the whorehouses and find sweet women!... and, yeah, that was it... her warehouse of prison movie cliches now officially exhausted.  
  
Oh well. She could get up.... and she could go to Luke's!  
  
She wanted to wake Rory in the worst way, she really did, but even she didn't have the heart when she saw how soundly the kid was sleeping after her late shift at the diner. And in a few hours, she'd have to go in to the Daily Planet. So Lorelai made her daughter coffee and left the pot on warm, and drank a few cups herself as she got dressed, humming a little hum to herself. In the bathroom, she spied the extra towel Luke had used the evening before. Just seeing it made her smile.  
  
It was a beautiful summer morning as she walked into town. She felt like she hadn't been out in months. She felt like she was coming home. She felt like a great big sap and didn't even care.  
  
She was the first one to ring through the door, earlier than even any of the six o'clock crowd.  
  
She plopped on a stool at the counter and waited. And in a moment, he appeared.  
  
They smiled at each other.  
  
"Coffee?" she asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Please, please, please!"(begging now)  
  
"No, no, no." he stood his ground, hands on his hips, chin jutted out, like facing down the ump.  
  
"Pretty, pretty please?" she wheedled.  
  
"How many have you had this morning?"  
  
"Zero.... Plus three. Please, please, please?"  
  
He grabbed the pot and poured a mug with a grump. "You're addicted."  
  
"And you're my pusher!" she smiled gleefully as she took a rapturous sip. "Ooo! Dirty!" she added with a laugh.  
  
Luke just rolled his eyes and leaned over the counter toward her.  
  
"You should be in bed," he said in a low voice, his eyes meeting hers.  
  
She shook her head. "Too lonely," she sighed dramatically.  
  
"Hmm. Yeah, we gotta do something about that one of these days."  
  
"Yep."  
  
And then the rush began and Lorelai gave him a little smile and left into the bright morning.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
And once at The Dragonfly she hardly felt tired at all. Well, maybe just a little around the edges. But being happy and busy can really help ward off feeling crappy.  
  
So she gave Michel the day off for all his hard work while she was out, and went happily to the kitchen in search of Sookie.  
  
They hugged and were happy, and since things were quiet sat at the table to have coffee and to eat the heart-shaped cookies Sookie had made to celebrate Lorelai's homecoming.  
  
"To us and The Dragonfly," toasted Lorelai with her mug.  
  
And Sookie responded in kind.  
  
"So, what's the haps?" Lorelai asked, "What's going on with your life? I've been out of the loop."  
  
"Well," thought Sookie, "Jackson is trying a different approach to organic composting."  
  
"Interesting," said Lorelai.  
  
"Only to Jackson," giggled Sookie, and then, "He wants to have another baby."  
  
"Wow." responded her friend.  
  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"How do you feel about that?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Very big deal."  
  
"You know," continued Sookie, "Part of me can still recall the misery of the last few weeks of pregnancy and the agony of actual childbirth, but another part of me says, 'Hey! Look what you get, though!'"  
  
Lorelai nodded her understanding and took another cookie.  
  
"Jackson really wants another. He's stopped hounding me on the four in four plan, but another baby... well, it could be nice..." mused Sookie.  
  
"And you're a great mother, Sookie, and I imagine that you'll have learned so much by the time the next one is here, that maybe it will be simpler."  
  
"Maybe," said Sookie. "How about you?"  
  
"How about me what?"  
  
"You and Luke?"  
  
Lorelai grinned, "Luke and I are great."  
  
"So things are progressing?"  
  
"Yes, they are."  
  
"Do you think you'll ever have a kid?"  
  
Lorelai got quiet for a moment and looked down into her mug, "I had a dream last night that we were going to, actually."  
  
"Ooo! Prophetic?"  
  
"No. A little wishful maybe, but not prophetic." Lorelai really didn't want to go there right now, not today when she was so happy. "Besides, Luke and I are only beginning."  
  
Sookie nodded, "Yeah, you've got a lifetime ahead of you."  
  
"Yeah, we do," Lorelai smiled again.  
  
"It's so exciting!" squealed Sookie.  
  
"Yes, it is!"  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

It was after lunch later that day as Lorelai sat in the office wading through two weeks of unattended mail when she answered her cell phone.  
  
"Hey," she heard.  
  
"Hey, yourself," she responded with a smile.  
  
"Are you up to going out tonight?" he asked.  
  
"I think so, what have you got in mind?" she asked in a sultry voice.  
  
"Not what's in yours right now, unfortunately," groused Luke.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
"I had to go with Kirk one last time to the lawyers this morning—they keep saying it's the last time, but I think this time it really was. Anyway, he wants us to come to this thing tonight. Kirk, that is. Rory's invited too, if Lane can cover."  
  
"What kind of thing?" she asked in curiosity.  
  
"He wants us to go to Leslie's club, he's got some kind of big romantic plan to propose to Lulu," sighed Luke.  
  
"Oh wow, I wouldn't miss that if I had to go in an ambulance." grinned Lorelai.  
  
"I was afraid you'd say that. Apparently he's already invited practically the whole town. He thought you'd still be home in bed. When he found out otherwise, he begged me to come and bring you."  
  
"Oh Luke, I'm sorry," she laughed a little at his misfortune.  
  
"Are you sure you don't need just one more evening of rest?" he made a final plea.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
"Are you really sure you're up to this?" Luke asked again as they walked to the entrance of the club. "It's only your first day out again, and it was a long drive into the city," he fretted.  
  
"We don't have to stay all night, Luke," she assured him sympathetically. "If I feel bad, I'll let you know."  
  
"Promise?" he asked looking down at her tenderly.  
  
"Promise." He stopped her at the door and kissed her quickly. "I'd rather be at home right now. Just us." he mumbled into her mouth.  
  
"I know. It's just one of the many reasons why I love you."  
  
He slipped his arm around her waist then and they went in.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Lorelai never enjoyed a show more in her entire life.  
  
And everyone was there. Kirk had made sure of that. All the good citizens of Stars' Hollow, the Gleason brothers, Sookie, Jackson, Michel, even Emily and Richard.  
  
"I did spend an evening dancing with Leslie, it would have been rude to decline the invitation," sniffed Richard.  
  
Lorelai looked across the table she and Luke were sharing with her parents and Rory, "Dad, you do know that Leslie is a...—?" she began.  
  
"--Lorelai!" interrupted Emily quickly, "Your father understands his social obligations."  
  
Lorelai did a quick double take at her mother—Did Emily just wink at her?!  
  
Nah.  
  
And then the show began. And Leslie Gleason was truly a star to behold. He opened with his trademark Judy Garland 'The Man Who Got Away' number and proceeded to move, beautifully costumed, throughout film history.  
  
The crowd was on their feet howling for more at the end.  
  
Even Luke was impressed. "I gotta admit that his Natalie Wood as Daisy Clover was pretty damn good," he whispered to Lorelai.  
  
Lorelai didn't know which was better: Watching this show with Emily and Richard or hearing that from Luke. Either way, she laughed until she had tears in her eyes.  
  
And then she and Rory shared a look then too. One of their special looks. A Gilmore Girl look just for them.  
  
But then their attention was drawn to the stage as it began: The piece de resistance of the evening...  
  
Kirk took to the stage, and after mumbling a few words to the band, grabbed a mike, and after counting down the music began warbling away: "Fly Me To The Moon..."  
  
Lorelai looked over at Lulu who was en rapt. She gave Luke a little nudge with her elbow to look as well and even he had to let a little smile escape.  
  
And as Kirk crescendo-ed to the end of the song he bent down on one knee and proposed, with a boxed ring and everything, citing that 'this was the romantic way to do this thing, damn it.'  
  
And everyone laughed and clapped and Lulu burst into tears (after saying yes,) and Luke had to endure watching Lulu and Kirk make out a little.  
  
"Geez," he said in his grumpy voice.  
  
Lorelai looked at him and smiled, knowing he wasn't really so grumpy.  
  
It was later, when Kirk had begged Luke to come over for a minute that Lorelai slipped away from the celebration.  
  
She spotted a curtained door next to the stage, a large shirtless, well- waxed man standing before it, in nothing but a vest and leather pants. She walked over to him.  
  
"So what's it gonna take for me to get a back-stage pass to see Leslie?" she wheedled with a smile.  
  
He smiled in return, "Nothing you can offer, honey."  
  
"Oh please, I am a friend of his brother's, really. I just want to thank him for the great show."  
  
Well-waxed man looked her over a bit, then finally stood aside.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
Leslie Gleason sat before the mirror in his dressing room, a row of wigs on stands at his elbow, cold-creaming his face.  
  
"Knock, knock," said Lorelai at the partially opened door.  
  
Leslie looked up, "Oh, Lorelai, come in!" he invited.  
  
She smiled and sat down on the chair next to him.  
  
"Leslie, I sincerely have to say that I think that you just did the most amazing show I've ever seen, my friend, and you should know, to provide context, that I have seen The Bangles live no fewer than three times."  
  
Leslie appraised her a moment, then delicately removed a long glitter- studded eyelash, "It is always refreshing to meet a fan with discernment," he replied with a twinkle.  
  
"And your Cleopatra?! Oh my God!" she enthused, "Artistry! I mean, sure, lots of people could go with the Taylor or even the Leigh version, but to choose Colbert and pull it off?! Genius. Absolute genius," she sighed.  
  
"Lorelai," said Leslie as he tugged at the other eyelash, "I had no idea that you were such a connoisseur. Hard to believe that even exists in Stars' Hollow," he reflected.  
  
"Oh we have our moments," she assured him.  
  
He looked at her again, "Don't I know it," he said drily, "You're looking at the only Jackie Onassis ever to appear in the Star's Hollow Elementary School Halloween parade."  
  
"Wow. I guess not everyone can make it to the Doo-dah parade before junior high."  
  
And Leslie laughed long at that.  
  
"So, Funny Lady, how are you feeling? Kirk said you were in the hospital again," asked Leslie as he leaned back in his seat, his face now clear of make-up.  
  
Lorelai looked at him. "I really see now how you look like Kirk," she commented.  
  
Leslie smiled at that.  
  
"Leslie, I wanted to say thank you so much for your part in putting in the hedge maze at The Dragonfly. I mean you didn't even really know me."  
  
"I knew about you, though. And I knew Luke and what a good man he is. I knew Kirk thought it was important. I knew your father was a helluva dancer. That was enough for me at the time," he said mildly.  
  
"Well, thank you anyway," said Lorelai.  
  
Leslie regarded her shrewdly for a moment, "You didn't answer my question, Lorelai. How are you doing?"  
  
And Lorelai could tell that this good man really wanted to know, and for some inexplicable reason, a lump bubbled up in her throat and her eyes burned a little. She looked away trying to avoid it.  
  
"Wow. You're good," she noticed.  
  
"It was just a question."

"Yes, but there was meaning there," she told him archly. "You got to me somehow. And that's tough to do. What, do you have a degree in hypnosis or something?"  
  
"Sociology. A doctorate, actually."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Well... ABD, anyway," he tossed off.  
  
"Wow. Dissertation Subject?"  
  
"The Evolution of Non-traditional Families in the Twentieth Century."  
  
"Didn't finish though?"  
  
"Do you blame me?"  
  
"God no. Personally I got knocked up and dropped out of high school."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"Why did you quit?" she asked.  
  
"When the Siren Stage calls, one must answer," he bowed his head humbly.  
  
Lorelai nodded at that and they were quiet for a moment.  
  
"You know..." she began, "The thing about it is, you can't really let yourself think about it... having a wonky ticker, that is..." she reflected looking down.  
  
Leslie nodded and waited patiently.  
  
"Because everyone around you is...thinking about it for you. All the damn time. Seeing you in terms of that, when just the day before they were seeing you as a mother or a daughter or an annoyance. And then there you are reduced to this thing that is wrong with you..."  
  
Leslie seemed to get that too.  
  
"So you try not to think about it because everyone is thinking about it for you. And you love them, and you don't want them to worry, because you know they love you too... And... Gah! It's scary... I mean... I'm scared," she looked at Leslie then, her eyes full of tears, he leaned forward and took her hand.  
  
"And I can tell all the elephant jokes in the world, and tell everyone that life goes on and how lucky I am despite it too... And I am, lucky that is, I really am. But... I really, really don't want to be sick.... And sometimes I feel so awful... And I really don't want to be sick... I really don't." She added the last very softly and bit back a small sob lest it escape.  
  
Leslie leaned forward and took her in his arms, "It's all right, Lorelai. It's all right..." he murmured comfortingly.  
  
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::  
  
It wasn't too long before she was back out on the club floor though, trusting to Leslie's make-up artistry and the dark lights to cover up evidence of her break down. And she even had to admit that maybe she felt a bit better for it too.  
  
She smiled when she looked up on the stage then: Kirk was belting out "'Til I Saw Her Face! Now I'm a Believer! I Couldn't Leave Her if I Tried!" and was wiggling his hips in a most disturbing manner.  
  
And there were most of her near and dear at the foot of the stage dancing and bouncing happily to the beat.  
  
She found Luke, Richard and Emily still at the table though, taking in the festivities from a safe distance.  
  
"Hey," she said as she slipped in next to Luke and linked her arm through his.  
  
"Hey," he responded. "I was about to go look for you."  
  
"Yeah, I went backstage to congratulate Leslie," she told him. "Oh, Dad," she called across the table and loud music to her father, "Leslie sends all the best!"  
  
"Oh how very nice," nodded Richard.  
  
"So, how's it going with you?" she asked Luke.  
  
"Kirk wants me to be best man at his wedding," sighed Luke.  
  
"What?" laughed Lorelai, "He's got eleven brothers."  
  
"Doesn't want to show favoritism, it's the Gleason way."  
  
Loreali laughed again.  
  
"Oh Lorelai," interjected Richard then, "After careful research and much deliberation with Rory, I've come up with a joke for you. And it's quite a witty one too, if you ask me."  
  
Lorelai's eyes rounded with curiosity. "Really? Let's here it, Dad."

"Well," began Richard pleased as punch with himself, "Descartes was at a cocktail party..."  
  
Lorelai nodded.  
  
"And as it progressed the hostess sidled up to him and said, 'Oh Monsieur Descartes, you've finished your drink. May I get you another?' and Descartes says, (This is the funny part,)" Richard elucidated, "And Descartes says, 'I think not!' and then... he disappeared!"  
  
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They were all dancing slowly now.  
  
Lorelai snuggled into Luke's arms.  
  
"Hey," she said and looked up into his eyes.  
  
"Hey," he smiled down at her, and then added with concern, "Tired?"  
  
"Yeah," she admitted.  
  
"Do you want me to take you home?" he whispered in her ear.  
  
"Yes, but let's just finish the dance first."  
  
"Okay," he nodded.  
  
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	25. Chapter XXV

Reader, I married him.  
  
I don't know how long it is really that I've wanted to steal that line from Bronte. Long enough anyway that I am using it here despite a decided lack of context.  
  
But I am the author and get to write it if I want to, so I did.  
  
That is as far as I am taking this story, Reader.  
  
This chapter is merely for some exposition and self conscious writing on my part.  
  
I wish I were Dickens and being paid by the word for my serialization in the newspaper for everyone to read—for what better analogy to that than fan fiction? (Other than that actually being a genius thing and creating original characters, but I digress.) Alas, I am not Dickens. And I am deplorably un-motivated by money. I know that should be a noble trait, but it's not very (Lord knows I spend it readily enough.) And it just drives my husband to distraction. So even Dickens' rich payment of a penny a word probably would do nothing to sway me into pounding out further chapters.  
  
But I will tell you where I think this goes. Would go, if I were writing forever (which I'm not because I am easily distracted by new and shiny things—and they would surely come around. Some have already.)  
  
Yes, Lorelai and Luke get married. No, they do not have a baby.  
  
Sorry, Reader, I know how fond you are of picking out cute names for twins and all (I don't know, maybe I could let them get dogs, but that's pushing it.) And I also know how well you would love to coo over Luke holding a newborn but, nope, not going to happen here. You, Reader, may be young and fanciful and wanting to read such things. I understand. So was I once. But now I know other things, too. And, once again, writer's prerogative prevails.  
  
I know lots of you write those baby-having, happily-ever-after stories, and more power to you, I say. God knows they can really warm up a heart—dreaming can do that.  
  
But herein Lorelai is ill. That's it. There will never be a magic cure. She will always live with it. But in true Lorelai fashion, with Luke and Rory beside her, she will be happy, Reader, she will.  
  
She will have occasional secret longings for a baby, but they will be fleeting in light of her good life. The Inn will prosper, the diner will prosper, her life will prosper. And Rory will always be hers.  
  
Luke won't think much about it at all. And that is not nearly as sad as Jane Austen dying at forty-two (my own yard stick in such things.) In fact, it isn't sad at all. Loneliness abated is quite enough for our hero. That it should blossom into love and true friendship and surprises are more than he ever saw for himself. He well escapes the Uncle Louie life he dreaded.

So Luke and Lorelai marry. They move into her house which, of course, he works on. And they try to maintain that newlywed passion for awhile and eventually fail as we all do, but that's okay too. They are more than content with one another.  
  
Sometimes though Lorelai looks over at him while he is twirling q-tips in his ears and says, "I know you make me coffee, and fold the towels, and clean the bathtub so I won't have to bend over and do it (Luke will remain forever afraid that Lorelai will faint, and she will on rare occasions,) but I need you to get off your flanneled ass and go out into the world and make a traditional romantic gesture." And he will. He will surprise her with a trip on one occasion, and twice with jewelry that he has picked out himself (under advisement from Rory.) And that is all that Lorelai will need, besides him and Rory and Stars' Hollow.  
  
And every now and then, Luke will look over at Lorelai, who is dipping fries in chocolate pudding and eating them (on the couch while they are watching some awful movie,) and will groan with justifiable disgust. So she will surprise him later in lingerie or with some other harebrained scheme I can't think of right now, just to shake him up (dance lessons wouldn't work, would they?)  
  
The story goes on further too, Reader.  
  
Rory will tire of journalism, obtain her doctorate and settle down to write and teach. She will wait a long time to marry though. And, I think who she picks should be a surprise to us all----maybe someone short and bald who makes her laugh.  
  
Sookie and Jackson will move onto a farm and continue their involvement with the Inn. They will have many children, as will Lulu and Kirk. The Gilmore/ Danes home (she keeps her own last name) becomes a haven for them, and Luke and Lorelai are happy to guide them and love them as they can. Whatever your political persuasion or personal feelings about Hillary Clinton, I think we can all agree that it does indeed take a village. And what better village than Stars' Hollow?  
  
Lane will tour with her band for awhile, while young, and when her mother passes away unexpectedly, Lane will take the money left her and eventually buy Luke's diner, move in upstairs and transform it into a well-known destination jazz café. She will have her hand in launching many important groups, and will start a fabulously successful jazz website. I think she might even eventually marry Dean, or just live with him, but that corner of the future, Reader, is very murky.  
  
And as must happen, Taylor and Babette and Miss Patty will go to their great rewards eventually but will be replaced (though never in our hearts) by other equally colorful characters in town. Michel even eventually takes over the candy shop.  
  
Richard will die quite suddenly of a heart attack, I'm sad to say. Emily will bear it as well as she can, travel a little, then settle back into her charity work. Lorelai will eventually have her help with event planning at The Dragonfly.  
  
Jess and Paris? Meh. I don't know. It would be hysterical if they had a furtive affair, though.  
  
So, there you go. Hardly _Our Town_, but it'll do.  
  
No, not a perfect valentine ending, but pretty damn good. Someone wise told me once, 'You can have it all—just not all at the same time.' That will become very true of Lorelai's life.  
  
She will always be selfish and generous too, just the way we love her, and she will continue to find fun in even the smallest things in her life. She will love and make a lot of people happy, and be taken care of, and that's about all we can hope for anyone in the world. And much more than many real people often get. So, as a fictional character, I think Lorelai's done extremely well.  
  
And to those of you who have written and asked, more information about Neurocardiogenic Syncope can be found on HealthBoards.com (under rare disorders) and with a good general internet search as well. And, my fellow afflictees out there; Life is still good.  
  
Finally: Thank you, Reader, for hanging in when it was not perfect or when it exploded your comfortable (and I'm sure correct) definitions of character, and for putting up with typos and less description than would be nice when I just felt too crappy to care.  
  
Be well. cheers–netherfield


End file.
